Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Been seeing this girl for a month now, but no talk of exclusivity yet?

Shivastorm_88

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We have 5 years difference (she is older - she's 30, I'm 25), right now she lives about 150km away from me but she is moving to my city in two weekends, and so far we've seen each other every weekend for a month

Her IL seems quite high from a few cues I get here and there, for example:

1) She texts me every day, even if it's just nonsense, to start a text conversation (latest example: She sent me a random text saying blablabla midday, first text of the day)
2) She keeps saying stuff like: She sleeps so well when I'm around, or I'm the only person she can fall asleep while cuddling, that kind of stuff
3) I can make her *** almost on command (hey, that definitely counts hahah)
4) She tries very hard to get me to say I care for her and to gauge my interest toward her (which I give sparse IOI)

and other stuff that doesn't pop up to mind

However, despite all that, no talk about exclusivity or anything. Obviously I can't know if she's spinning other plates, and I didn't ask, but at any rate, if she hasn't mentioned exclusivity yet, should I:

1) See this as a red flag
2) Bring it up by simply asking her: What do you see us as?

Edit: Forgot to mention, mid-May I'm leaving for 5 weeks trip to South East Asia (she knows it), if she doesn't bring it up before I leave, that's when I was considering bringing it up
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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JoeMarron

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Don't bring it up. Keep doing what you're doing.
 

SirFratserlot

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How can you tell if she's spinning other plates. I was in your situation and it all went downhill. I don't know what I did wrong, but I'm having to ghost her right now.
 

VladPatton

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Keep your mouth shut and proceed, that's her job.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Shivastorm_88

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Aye so that's the consensus, eh? Not mention it before she does?

If I'm about to leave for the trip and she still hasn't mentioned it, should I still keep my mouth shut about it?
 

pdx1138

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you heard what everybody said.

NEVER bring it up....they eventually will....usually at the 3 month mark.

It's been that way for me like clock work. My last girlfriend, around 3 months I was thinking "when is she going to say it." She brought it up that very weekend.

And when she brings it up, respond with "why do you ask?"
Some other forum member said to respond that way and I agree because they can be VERY ambiguous if you just start rambling about being exclusive
when they ask "what are we? / Where is this relationship going?"
 
B

BeDJ

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You're 25 and the ease of dating 18-21 year old chicks is peaked. Why settle for a 30 year old?
 
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