"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Been seeing this girl for a month now, but no talk of exclusivity yet?

Shivastorm_88

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We have 5 years difference (she is older - she's 30, I'm 25), right now she lives about 150km away from me but she is moving to my city in two weekends, and so far we've seen each other every weekend for a month

Her IL seems quite high from a few cues I get here and there, for example:

1) She texts me every day, even if it's just nonsense, to start a text conversation (latest example: She sent me a random text saying blablabla midday, first text of the day)
2) She keeps saying stuff like: She sleeps so well when I'm around, or I'm the only person she can fall asleep while cuddling, that kind of stuff
3) I can make her *** almost on command (hey, that definitely counts hahah)
4) She tries very hard to get me to say I care for her and to gauge my interest toward her (which I give sparse IOI)

and other stuff that doesn't pop up to mind

However, despite all that, no talk about exclusivity or anything. Obviously I can't know if she's spinning other plates, and I didn't ask, but at any rate, if she hasn't mentioned exclusivity yet, should I:

1) See this as a red flag
2) Bring it up by simply asking her: What do you see us as?

Edit: Forgot to mention, mid-May I'm leaving for 5 weeks trip to South East Asia (she knows it), if she doesn't bring it up before I leave, that's when I was considering bringing it up
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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JoeMarron

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Don't bring it up. Keep doing what you're doing.
 

SirFratserlot

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How can you tell if she's spinning other plates. I was in your situation and it all went downhill. I don't know what I did wrong, but I'm having to ghost her right now.
 

VladPatton

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Keep your mouth shut and proceed, that's her job.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Shivastorm_88

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Aye so that's the consensus, eh? Not mention it before she does?

If I'm about to leave for the trip and she still hasn't mentioned it, should I still keep my mouth shut about it?
 

pdx1138

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you heard what everybody said.

NEVER bring it up....they eventually will....usually at the 3 month mark.

It's been that way for me like clock work. My last girlfriend, around 3 months I was thinking "when is she going to say it." She brought it up that very weekend.

And when she brings it up, respond with "why do you ask?"
Some other forum member said to respond that way and I agree because they can be VERY ambiguous if you just start rambling about being exclusive
when they ask "what are we? / Where is this relationship going?"
 
B

BeDJ

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You're 25 and the ease of dating 18-21 year old chicks is peaked. Why settle for a 30 year old?
 
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