"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Becoming One with The Society

alnite

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Becoming One with The Society


Many of us would say that we are unique individuals. Every person has his own talents and personalities, and we should respect other people’s opinion. That’s true. However, this kind of thought would affect how we see people, or the world in general. We put too much respect on people that they don’t respect us. We value them more than we value ourselves. We love them more than we love ourselves. Do we get our love, respect, and value back? No.

I know it’s sad, but that’s how human beings function. Think about it. What’s going to happen if you eat too much? What’s going to happen if you work out too much? What’s going to happen if you dress too much? What’s going to happen if you talk too much? It creates a sense of neediness. It seems to me you demand something that you don’t have in an overactive way. Why do you seek so much validation?

The opposite is just as bad. What’s going to happen if you eat too little? What’s going to happen if you never talk? People will perceive you as a weirdo, or should I say a ‘nice’ guy? No, they won’t think of you as a grand hermit.

Too much is bad, too little is also bad. I think you have guessed the answer. Right in the middle is the answer. However, how do we know when we have acted just enough? Instinct. A wolf would only hunt when it’s hungry. Wolves don’t kill and eat every rabbit they see. They would only do so when they are hungry. They basically follow their instinct, and they do just fine.

What happens to us, the so-called intelligent human beings? We rarely follow our instincts for some reason that I don’t want to know or care. Our society creates an imagination of what’s wrong and right. It’s wrong to chop trees. It’s right not to talk to strangers. It’s right not to give a homeless money because he’s going to steal your wallet. It’s wrong to kill the bear that’s about to kill us. It’s wrong/right to…etc, the list goes on.

We have forgotten one important issue here. We ARE part of the society. We are one. Our instinct is basically your survival guide in every situation you will encounter. If you want to say something, say it. If you want to do something, do it. Today, I just had a very interesting day. I engaged in more conversations than I ever had. I had more topics to talk about than ever before that we didn’t even have enough time to continue our conversation. Why? It’s simply because I am following my instinct to talk about topics that I want to talk about. I have no shame, or a second thought to do it. I don’t even feel awkward when doing it (you know sometimes the first time you do it you will feel awkward as hell?).

HOW TO DO IT:
Remember, we are part of the society. So what you must do is to feel the presence of everything around you. The people, the trees, the buildings, the rocks, the ants, the mosquitoes, the grasses, the wind, etc. Feel them. You are ONE. Therefore, participate in everything around you. If you don’t participate, you are separating yourself from them, from the people, and thus, will be seen as ‘nice’ or maybe a real jerk. Everybody talks, but you don’t or you talk too much. You are alienating yourself. Don’t cover yourself. Expose. Don’t be unique. Blend with the society. Blend with everything around you. The uniqueness will come by itself.

For example, some group of people is talking about automobiles, and you happen to be a guy who is passionate in automobiles and you have that urge to join in the conversation. Join and talk with them. Another example is when somebody points out your mistake. Say it. Say you are sorry, say that you didn’t know. Don’t ever try to cover your tracks. You make an eye contact with this hot chick, approach! Get caught in a dry conversation? Make fun of it “Wow it’s so quiet!” Can’t say something? “I am speechless!” Of course, in a ****y and funny way. Have fun, and don’t hurt people’s feelings! Expose yourself.

The easy way to do it is to think that everything around you as you. Feel them. Feel their presence. You are one. Yes, that hot chick sitting 20 feet away from you is you (“Hello me, how’s it going?”). But, don’t approach every single girl you see, or your neediness will be seen and they will run away from you. A wolf doesn't hunt 24 hours non stop. Do it only when your instinct tells you to, then everything will become natural.
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Smoothflow

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Show respect to people, and people will mirror this respect back to you? Is that what your saying?
 

alnite

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Originally posted by Smoothflow
Show respect to people, and people will mirror this respect back to you? Is that what your saying?
I don't know where you get that impression from, but if you read it more carefully:

We put too much respect on people that they don’t respect us.
If you respect people too much, you will be put into the "nice" zone, instead of the "fun" zone. Now, I am not saying you should not respect others, you do respect them, but not too much that you are afraid of making fun of them.
 

2xp

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becoming one with society (title of the post) and becoming one with nature (next pragraphs) is contradictory, they are really two different things. you should reconsider re-writing your post.

anyway, i know what you mean : trusting your instincts and stop follwing the rules&habits of society.

i guess i need to take my bow&arrows, go to the deep forest and live from hunting.

edit : just joking :D :D
 

alnite

Don Juan
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Originally posted by 2xp
becoming one with society (title of the post) and becoming one with nature (next pragraphs) is contradictory, they are really two different things. you should reconsider re-writing your post.

Thanks for pointing that out. Edited!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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HappyHobo

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3 words...

HAVE NO SHAME

If you think of something you could do that wouldnt pose any problems just do it.

Have no shame doesnt mean do whatever the f--k you want.

It means have no shame in yourself. If your at a club and you came to dance with girls even though you suck then do it.

No harm in that.

But if you want to moon the old man and lady coming out of the grocery and you feel like u have no shame ... i would re think that situation and immediately seek help there'snothign funny about mooning old people.

Ok now that i think of it .. yeah there is.
 

Cheiradawg

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This post made my head hurt.

Society is made up of individuals. Yes, INDIVIDUALS. Each individual is diffrent in their own way, but everyone is a society shares certain things in common. These shared things are what bring people together. They are what actually forms the society. The things shared by individulas is the foundation of society.

Now, since people share things in common they go about interacting with one another in various ways. The ways people interact with one another have a specific social construct. A social construct is the way things are done. Social constructs are what people expect when they interact with oneanother under certain situtation and with certain people.

This boards members always talk about "not giving a fVck" and "being to nice" as opposites. They are not really opposites. They are just randomly jaded perceptions of how one should interact within any given social construct.

For example:
If someone walked up to me at my work and gave me the "I don't give a **** attitude" then I would just think that they were wierd individuals. If they were too nice then they would also come off a wierd in that case.

The point is that one can not view interactions with society on an individualistic basis. The model jsut doens't work becuase society has certin expectations for human interactions. If these rules are not followed then nothing is gained. It is arrogant to assume that earth revolves around you and that it society should work on the terms you see best fit.

My advice for interaction with society is to actually learn the various social constructs and how to interact in situations. Becuase there are benefits too the person who is socially capable and these benefits go to the person who is aware of hte social rules.
 
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