Be Picky About Who U Approach

[DJD]

Originally posted by NoMoreMisterNiceGuy
can you wait for strong eye contact, smile, say hi on street approaches?....I find it hard to do them ... whats your experience ?

I've met women 'on the street' (e.g., passing them in the airport), but again, I spoke only when I had a reasonable indication or feeling that she has some interest. I tend to believe that a woman who's available and open to meeting men will _generally_ communicate that to the outside world in some manner (eye contact, a look, etc.). Women who are closed and self-absorbed are ones I'd rather avoid. So no, I do not approach women on the street who show no awareness of me or apparent interest in me.

I'm not into working hard to break through the ice shield or kissing a** or whatever if a woman seems to have no interest. It's sort of a matter of pride for me, but in my opinion, once you become the beggar or pursuer, it's hard to reverse directions. She has to meet me at least halfway in terms of initial interest (or approach me). I know that some on the forum won't agree with me on this point, but I find that it works best for me. If I start to feel like I'm having to 'work' to get her, I back off. That position has never worked well for me. If anything, I rather not try hard enough than to try too hard.

 

[NoMoreMisterNiceGuy]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Here's one undeniable DJism truth...

IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT TACTICS, IT'S ABOUT THE DJ HIMSELF...

Which means, your success is based upon your own qualities, characteristics and personal traits. What you learn on this board works best after you tweak it and make the skill your own.

Given that, yes I do cold approaches. It's my nature to be friendly and outgoing, especially to women. I've gotten to the point that I will talk to anyone who is sharing the same experience as me at that given moment. It could be waiting on an elevator, in a check out line, sitting at a bar, where ever...

What I do is change my perception of what I am doing. I don't approach women, I engage women. The difference is that when approaching, you are in the mode of some how hooking up with a woman. In my way, all I mean to do is talk to them, it's really no skin off of my nose if we see each other again or not (although if I am attracted to her it would be nice).

Understand that not all women will let you 'close' them, however the majority will at least talk with you. So I engage with only the intention of talking with them. Now if the conversation goes well, then I change my objective to closing. And for me, closing is not getting a telephone number, closing to me is getting her to agree to see me again. If she agrees, THEN I get her number just because she offers it so that I can get in touch with her. Again, this is how I made the tactics my own by tweaking them to match my personality.

Just one other thing, don't be swayed by the age of a DJ. There's a couple of young bucks on this site that are VERY knowledgeable. What matters is how often you get out there and work on your skills. What matters is how much you learn and how well you can adjust to a style that works best for you. That does not mean one that you are most comfortable, it means the one that actually works.

how do you handle women that are walking in a different direction than you?