Be Picky About Who U Approach

[NoMoreMisterNiceGuy]

has any of you guys experienced that after a time you get picky about approaching women?

you don't approach all women or TODAY you do not approach the same type of women you would have months or years ago ?

I mean street approaches or any cold approach...
why do that happen?

I have come to the conclusion that the lower the success rate at getting dates out of the numbers the less likely I am feeling to approach ... discouraged somehow ... How do I get back in the mood and not get discouraged by my outcome?

 

[TheNonPedant]

I think its a natural progression.

I only approach women I am attracted to. Not every woman around.

Somedays there are no woman around that really attract you.

If you're picky then so be it. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[Jariel]

I agree that it's a progression and it comes with confidence and overcoming your desperation. You have to be pretty damn desperate to approach every attractive stranger in sight.

Once you become more confident and more relaxed, you realise that you don't have to rush things. You aim higher because you believe you deserve better and trust in yourself to get it.

And let's face it, any woman who'll give it up to a guy they just met on the street is surely a slvt. Only desperate men with low standards want a slvt.

 

[DJBen]

Why settle for the bottom of the barrell, when theres a lovely keg or six right next to it?

"Only desperate men with low standards want a slvt."

... or when you're not in a relationship and you want more than to jack off

 

[Chemistry]

**** yes...

I was in the club last night... stush lookin' girls of a very high calibre... now friends were jaw droppin on every girl, when to me a whole lot of them came off as average and not even worth my time...

Once you've got your skills down then you can afford to be more selective... personally I've got an image to maintain and I don't want to be associated with anythin but the 8s and 9s in that way... sure, I'll lapse and opt for a 6 or 7 if sex is just my purpose and there isn't a viable 8 or 9, but that's rare... it's just a case of why settle for Lambrini if you can have Champagne..

 

[tactic]

i think most of us are already picky..

 

[NoMoreMisterNiceGuy]

getting picky = fear of getting turned down ?

one of my questioning is:


isn't getting picky a way of avoiding "rejection" and the discouragement it comes when we play our cards right and she wasn't interested FIRST after all ? ... and we sometimes feel "dumb" about it ?
women avoid conflict and the reason they do not say no to us is cuz she doesn't wanna feel about herself rejecting us eventhough we would gladly hear her say (once a women told me this after asking her for home phone number, I thanked her. She said: "what for?, later if you call me I would lie to you telling you an excuse, or saying that I would go to the date and then cancel it, or not showing up... I don't want you to go through this neither want I... thanks for asking but no ...) NO...
does getting picky at a subconscious level means we start to feel tired of approaching? ...and by getting picky and she turns us down, we say "at least this a 8,9, or 10 that turns me down and thank god she is not a 5 or 6 ...cuz that would be bad..." ????

 

[Jariel]

I notice a lot of guys say they'll only go for a HB8 and upwards, but I see picky as being more about their personality. I much prefer women with class, intelligence and who are good company and I'd turn down a HB10 slvt or attention wh0re without hesitation.

Many of my ex-girlfriends have been incredibly hot, yet total b1tches. And when the makeup comes off and the novelty of a hot body and pretty face wears thin, all you have is a b1tch to deal with.

 

[Lan]

No doubt getting rejected a lot can kill a mans confidence. Thats why most of us joined up on these boards! What a lot of guys do before they start approaching girls is talk to random people. Guys, girls, old people.. WHATEVER!! This will get you in a outgoing, fun state of mind. What are you having problems with when you approach?

 

[NoMoreMisterNiceGuy]

Originally posted by Lan
No doubt getting rejected a lot can kill a mans confidence. Thats why most of us joined up on these boards! What a lot of guys do before they start approaching girls is talk to random people. Guys, girls, old people.. WHATEVER!! This will get you in a outgoing, fun state of mind. What are you having problems with when you approach?

is getting picky over the years the result of getting tired of rejection ?

 

[MindOverMatter]

And when the makeup comes off and the novelty of a hot body and pretty face wears thin, all you have is a b1tch to deal with.

Congratulations man, you have learned something 99% of guys will never figure out.

 

[NoMoreMisterNiceGuy]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
Congratulations man, you have learned something 99% of guys will never figure out.

then why do most "old"men have a hot chick as a lover ? ...skinny, big breasts, nice body, beautiful hair, shiny legs ...while the wife sits at home watching tv ?

 

[DJD]

I generally favor 'going in' after I've made at least some sort of eye contact to see if she will hold it for a moment (and perhaps smile back).

However, I've read quotes from women about being very attracted to a guy and them going out of their way NOT to look at him or even acknowledge him. For some reason, a lot of them don't want for you to catch them looking. Some women also position themselves (not so innocently) in your vicinity (often right next to you) so that it is easier for YOU to talk to them.

I've heard this said many times by women, and it is a good rule-of-thumb for most situations.... *a woman will let you know with her eyes about whether she wants to talk to you*. I did say 'rule-of-thumb', which obviously does not rule out cold calling, but the guideline on establishing eye contact first tends to make your hit rate a bit better, IMO; it also helps you to enter the situation relatively greater confidence and spontaneity (versus canned comments) too, I think. To use the sales metaphor, it seems to boil down to the difference between going on a cold call and having a lead.

Think about this too... if you are getting shot down with women in a social situation and other women notice (and they do if they have any interest in you), the public failure is a form of social dis-proof.

 

[ed3000]

I value my dignity too much which means I refuse to embarrass myself with just any girl. I know most guys might call me a wuss and tell me that getting rejected a lot is the way to learn.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by ed3000
I value my dignity too much which means I refuse to embarrass myself with just any girl. I know most guys might call me a wuss and tell me that getting rejected a lot is the way to learn.

Anyone that tells you that lots of rejection is the way to learn is too stupid to realize what they are doing wrong nor do they know how to change it. No wonder they think that tons of rejection is normal, that's ll that they know, it's all that they will ever know.

 

[NoMoreMisterNiceGuy]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Anyone that tells you that lots of rejection is the way to learn is too stupid to realize what they are doing wrong nor do they know how to change it. No wonder they think that tons of rejection is normal, that's ll that they know, it's all that they will ever know.

what do you think about cold calling ?.... street approaches? ...
they are tough ... do you do them ?....speak please ... your 37 Im 28 you may have more experience than me...

 

[NoMoreMisterNiceGuy]

Originally posted by DJD
I generally favor 'going in' after I've made at least some sort of eye contact to see if she will hold it for a moment (and perhaps smile back).

However, I've read quotes from women about being very attracted to a guy and them going out of their way NOT to look at him or even acknowledge him. For some reason, a lot of them don't want for you to catch them looking. Some women also position themselves (not so innocently) in your vicinity (often right next to you) so that it is easier for YOU to talk to them.

I've heard this said many times by women, and it is a good rule-of-thumb for most situations.... *a woman will let you know with her eyes about whether she wants to talk to you*. I did say 'rule-of-thumb', which obviously does not rule out cold calling, but the guideline on establishing eye contact first tends to make your hit rate a bit better, IMO; it also helps you to enter the situation relatively greater confidence and spontaneity (versus canned comments) too, I think. To use the sales metaphor, it seems to boil down to the difference between going on a cold call and having a lead.

Think about this too... if you are getting shot down with women in a social situation and other women notice (and they do if they have any interest in you), the public failure is a form of social dis-proof.

can you wait for strong eye contact, smile, say hi on street approaches?....I find it hard to do them ... whats your experience ?

 

[becker]

Re: getting picky = fear of getting turned down ?

Originally posted by NoMoreMisterNiceGuy
one of my questioning is:


women avoid conflict and the reason they do not say no to us is cuz she doesn't wanna feel about herself rejecting us eventhough we would gladly hear her say (once a women told me this after asking her for home phone number, I thanked her. She said: "what for?, later if you call me I would lie to you telling you an excuse, or saying that I would go to the date and then cancel it, or not showing up... I don't want you to go through this neither want I... thanks for asking but no ...)

Hey, this is pretty interesting, tell me more about what this woman was like, I just went through something very similar to this.

 

[NoMoreMisterNiceGuy]

Re: Re: getting picky = fear of getting turned down ?

Originally posted by becker
Hey, this is pretty interesting, tell me more about what this woman was like, I just went through something very similar to this.

I was walking in the park way to cach the bus ... spotted her, 20 years old, very pretty, long brown hair, probably she was a HB8 to My taste ...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by NoMoreMisterNiceGuy
what do you think about cold calling ?.... street approaches? ...
they are tough ... do you do them ?....speak please ... your 37 Im 28 you may have more experience than me...

Here's one undeniable DJism truth...

IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT TACTICS, IT'S ABOUT THE DJ HIMSELF...

Which means, your success is based upon your own qualities, characteristics and personal traits. What you learn on this board works best after you tweak it and make the skill your own.

Given that, yes I do cold approaches. It's my nature to be friendly and outgoing, especially to women. I've gotten to the point that I will talk to anyone who is sharing the same experience as me at that given moment. It could be waiting on an elevator, in a check out line, sitting at a bar, where ever...

What I do is change my perception of what I am doing. I don't approach women, I engage women. The difference is that when approaching, you are in the mode of some how hooking up with a woman. In my way, all I mean to do is talk to them, it's really no skin off of my nose if we see each other again or not (although if I am attracted to her it would be nice).

Understand that not all women will let you 'close' them, however the majority will at least talk with you. So I engage with only the intention of talking with them. Now if the conversation goes well, then I change my objective to closing. And for me, closing is not getting a telephone number, closing to me is getting her to agree to see me again. If she agrees, THEN I get her number just because she offers it so that I can get in touch with her. Again, this is how I made the tactics my own by tweaking them to match my personality.

Just one other thing, don't be swayed by the age of a DJ. There's a couple of young bucks on this site that are VERY knowledgeable. What matters is how often you get out there and work on your skills. What matters is how much you learn and how well you can adjust to a style that works best for you. That does not mean one that you are most comfortable, it means the one that actually works.