Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Basics of the NLP mindset - I

Brazilian_Blues_Boy

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As my studies advance, I feel comfortable to give everyone some insights about the basics of the NLP mindset, which is very similar to the mindset of a SS, and will surely get you to think and change.

Map isn't territory - We all see the world through filters, which aren't necessarily the real truth.

Structures of Behavior

1 - An atittude geared towards results instead of problems.
2 - Change the focus of your questions, using "How?" instead of "Why?".
3 - See the difference between failure and feedback.
4 - Consider the Possibilities instead of the Necessities.
5 - Adopt an attitude of Curiosity and Fascination instead of going from Pressupositions.

Our consciousness limits itself to 7 segments of information (2 more or 2 less), but our uncoscious mind can handle almost infinite processes.

4 stages of the Learning Experience

1 - Unconscious Incompetency: you're not aware of what you don't know.
2 - Conscious Incompetency: You're aware of what you don't know.
3 - Conscious Competency: you're aware of what know, but it takes a conscious efford to make use of it.
4 - Unconscious Competency: you know what you need to know, and to it exactly and unconsciously.

Example: Driving a car

1 - You don't have the slightest idea of how to drive a car
2 - You know what you can't do (parking, changing the gears)
3 - You know what to do and how to do it, but you have to pay a lot of attention to it.
(You can drive but you have to pay a lot of attention to everything you're doing)
4 - You do things automacally, so you can talk, listen to music, watch the babes walking down the street...

To Unlearn = going from 4 back to 2.
To Relearn = going from 2 to 4 with more options.

Well I guess this is enough for some mind workout.
If anyone doesn't understand any concepts, please post and I'll be glad to dissecate it for you


BBB
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Aiken_Drum

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Wow! I love this complex analisys of the human mind. Sounds a lot like the benne gesserit from dune. Nice post.
 

Turbobird

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By the way...

What do you mean by "Change the focus of your questions, using 'How?' instead of 'Why?'."?

I first ask myself:
"Why should I do that?"
and then, if I got a good reason for doing it:
"How should I do that?"

/Turbobird

[This message has been edited by Turbobird (edited 12-10-2002).]
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Brazilian_Blues_Boy

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Turbobird, generally, when we talk in why/because, we only get Facts.
When you change your approach to How, you´ll get Contents.
Contents are what Processes are made of.

So, if you wanna know why someone's a good comunicator, you should think how is he a good comunicator, then you'll lead your thoughts to a more content-oriented manner.

It's something very obvious, but sometimes we forget, and in order to achieve excellence in whatever you're trying, you have to think How do I became x,y or z ?

First you do a, then b, after you're good with b, you try c, then d. Then after you can do a,b,c,d at the same time, you're going to be good at x/y/z.

The How, makes us think in terms of process, not of facts.

And NLP preaches the everything can be achieved through appropriated processes.

Hope I cleared it up!!

BBB
 

Digitz

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Nice excerpt from "Introducing NLP" by Joseph O'Connor & John Seymour.

Its a great book, i recommend it to anyone even moderately intrigued by NLP.
 

oreo_renegade

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nice, now gimme part II :D
 

USSOCOM

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Triple B, what are you saying with this post? What I pulled from it is that you want to be in the "Unconcious Competancy" category, but are you saying that you can achieve this without trial and error.. or what?
 

Brazilian_Blues_Boy

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Originally posted by USSOCOM
Triple B, what are you saying with this post? What I pulled from it is that you want to be in the "Unconcious Competancy" category, but are you saying that you can achieve this without trial and error.. or what?
By no means !!
You have to make a lot of mistakes to get to Uncoscious Competence... how many times did you stumble before you learned how to walk??

Nowadays when you walk you don't have to think: " Well, now I'm lifting my leg, folding my knees, putting my foot on the floor, balancing my back... "

You just walk !!

Hope this metaphor clear things up !!

BBB
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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superman0

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Good post BBB.
Iam almost finished readin an introduction to NLP by john oconner, or something like that...
its incredibly interesting. cant put the book down.
Iam sure anyone who hasnt read alot about NLP will find this post helpful.
 
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