My Name is Nobody
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When you meet up with a chic for drinks and it's the first date, do you go and sit at the bar or get a table?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Bar or get a booth?
- Thread starter My Name is Nobody
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Kevin Andrew
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I'd go for the booth. Seems to me the possibilities are greater from a booth then at the bar.
MotownMack
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I am not a big fan of the bar, just because it's more awkward to face the person you're talking to. In the interest of developing rapport and good body language, I like to comfortably face them. You could do this at the bar, but it isn't as natural. I prefer the table or booth also.
After the first few dates, I don't think it really matters tho.
After the first few dates, I don't think it really matters tho.
My Name is Nobody
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alright cool thanks guys.. this girl is some kind of secret agent for the government.. she won't tell me about her job and she didn't talk much on the phone.
All I know is she is in the "anti terror" unit.. any advice how to handle this first date??
All I know is she is in the "anti terror" unit.. any advice how to handle this first date??
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
DavenJuan
Master Don Juan
MNIN..
is this for drinks or dinner or both??
If you are only going for drinks i would def. pick the bar. this outting is suppose to be a social outting and believe it or not, being around others makes it more of a social outting and helps create this persona.
if you are only going for dinner then i def would go to the booth. it calms things down a bit and a bit more intimate. even though you can still have the same intimacy at the the bar, it takes a bit more work since you are occupied with others conversation and entertainment.
if you are going for both, then obviously the ONE ****tail at the bar before you get sat at a booth tends to work wonders.
but if it were me. i always seem to choose the BAR first. i build rapport with the bartender showing social proof, mingle a bit with other patrons asking about drinks, showing her a good time. then i move to the BOOTH. we have built a bit of rapport and by time we get to the booth we know more about each other and it is a lot more relaxed.
IMO
is this for drinks or dinner or both??
If you are only going for drinks i would def. pick the bar. this outting is suppose to be a social outting and believe it or not, being around others makes it more of a social outting and helps create this persona.
if you are only going for dinner then i def would go to the booth. it calms things down a bit and a bit more intimate. even though you can still have the same intimacy at the the bar, it takes a bit more work since you are occupied with others conversation and entertainment.
if you are going for both, then obviously the ONE ****tail at the bar before you get sat at a booth tends to work wonders.
but if it were me. i always seem to choose the BAR first. i build rapport with the bartender showing social proof, mingle a bit with other patrons asking about drinks, showing her a good time. then i move to the BOOTH. we have built a bit of rapport and by time we get to the booth we know more about each other and it is a lot more relaxed.
IMO
My Name is Nobody
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DavenJuan said:MNIN..
is this for drinks or dinner or both??
If you are only going for drinks i would def. pick the bar. this outting is suppose to be a social outting and believe it or not, being around others makes it more of a social outting and helps create this persona.
if you are only going for dinner then i def would go to the booth. it calms things down a bit and a bit more intimate. even though you can still have the same intimacy at the the bar, it takes a bit more work since you are occupied with others conversation and entertainment.
if you are going for both, then obviously the ONE ****tail at the bar before you get sat at a booth tends to work wonders.
but if it were me. i always seem to choose the BAR first. i build rapport with the bartender showing social proof, mingle a bit with other patrons asking about drinks, showing her a good time. then i move to the BOOTH. we have built a bit of rapport and by time we get to the booth we know more about each other and it is a lot more relaxed.
IMO
We agreed to meet "for a beer" .. that's it.. anything could happen really... it's all up in the air.. we talked for a few min on the phone.. she wasn't talkative but agreed to the meeting. Maybe I will show up 10 min late and let HER pick where to sit.
See my previous post about her profession..
In Motion
Senior Don Juan
Say this: You know, I have a hidden bomb! IN MY PANTS!My Name is Nobody said:All I know is she is in the "anti terror" unit.. any advice how to handle this first date??
My Name is Nobody
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In Motion said:Say this: You know, I have a hidden bomb! IN MY PANTS!
I just LOL'd very loud.. I really did!
My Name is Nobody
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In Motion said:Say this: You know, I have a hidden bomb! IN MY PANTS!
Alright how's this:
A few minutes into the date I'll say "I have a hidden bomb in my pocket are you going to arrest me?"
If she says yes or anything like that I'm good to go!
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You're already losing the battle. You're over analyzing and seeking an outcome.
You have to go with the follow and take control with her. You become the leader, and she will follow. Don't go into it expecting anything out of it, but be fun and exciting. Then she'll be into you. I'm sure of it.
You have to go with the follow and take control with her. You become the leader, and she will follow. Don't go into it expecting anything out of it, but be fun and exciting. Then she'll be into you. I'm sure of it.
My Name is Nobody
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Mavrick said:You're already losing the battle. You're over analyzing and seeking an outcome.
You have to go with the follow and take control with her. You become the leader, and she will follow. Don't go into expecting anything out of it, but fun and exciting. Then she'll be into you. I'm sure of it.
I hear you. I always post on here pre-date it's like a ritual for me. I get great lines like In Motion suggested, lol.. and other good advice. I would have never thought of the "bomb in my pocket" line if I didn't ask my friends here on sosuave. And you guys know I always follow up with a date report so we'll see what happens.
Plus, I think I'm ready... This can't be harder than going out with a lawyer.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
Dude you messed up the joke.My Name is Nobody said:Alright how's this:
A few minutes into the date I'll say "I have a hidden bomb in my pocket are you going to arrest me?"
If she says yes or anything like that I'm good to go!
That isn't even funny.
Ha! I thought the same thing.iqqi said:Dude you messed up the joke.
That isn't even funny.
My Name is Nobody
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Mods, could please merge this thread with the "date with a secret operative" thread? Results of the date are in there...
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.