"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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BadNews: The Pursuit of Suaveness

BadNews

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Upon reading, and thoroughly enjoying, Bradd80's "A Journey to Don Juan Mastery" I have been inspired to record my own journey. The goal of this thread will be for my own insight and understanding; as well I hope there will be something that can be learned by you, the community.

I first came across the site last year after having my heart torn to pieces by a devil of a woman. We had been in a relationship for over 5 years when I found out she was cheating on me. I wallowed in self pity for a few, sad, months before deciding I needed to move on and create a life I would be happy with despite the actions of others. Enter SS.

Target's name: Carmen
Age when we began dating: We were both 18
Profession: Elementary School Teacher
Background: South African (milk chocolate like skin color)
Reason we broke up: Cheating *****! ;)

What she looks like:
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/39/95281815.jpg/
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/99/27171141.jpg/

The end of our relationship was rocky, and in retrospect I'm not surprised she ended up cheating on me - though I would sooner end a long term relationship before I'd cheat on someone. To each our own.

What I learned from this relationship; which also happened to be my first serious relationship: Not to allow myself to become too codependent on the person I'm in a relationship with, as well as to not allow myself to get 'comfortable.' At the time I would have happily married Carmen, but that would have been a mistake. Looking back she just wasn't a good match for me. I REALLY leraned that I need to be in control of my own life and my own happiness, and that I cannot ever rely on someone else to fulfil me in those ways. I learned that I need to create and have a healthy relationship on my own, the person I'm with needs to do the same, and only then can we share our lives together in a fulfilling way.

When I first found the site I read, and read, and read some more. I quickly learned the 'rules of the game' that I had previously been oblivious to. This is not to say I became some kind of Don Juan over night; I am still far from it. I was however, able to quickly change my frame of mind and begin to implement some of what I had learned. I began approaching women, number closing, and even went on a few dates. Things were looking up, and I was feeling extremely optimistic about my future love life.
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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BadNews

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Being the poor soft hearted bastard I am, I didn't stay single for long following the breakup with Carmen. 5 months later I began seeing Angela - with a ONS and 3 week fling in between. For some reason I seemed to crave being in a committed relationship; I myself don't understand exactly what the draw is/has been for me. We dated casually for a while before finally sleeping together - after which she pressed for sexual exclusivity; to which I obliged because I was really into her and wanted a relationship out of it. Eventually we became and official item. Fast forward roughly one year later and I'm back to square one. You can read about the beginnings of that relationship here if you like:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=183640

Target's name: Angela
Age when we began dating: She was 23, I was 24
Profession: Corporate Accountant
Reason we broke up: Trust issues - I've concluded a lot of which remained from her previous relationship. You can read more about the breakup here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=196340

What she looks like:
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/84/80939623.jpg/
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/204/39304872.jpg/

What I leaned from this relationship: This one is still fresh, and I am still digesting everything I have learned from the relationship, and its subsequent ending. I will repost what I've learned from it at a later date, once I've had time to thorougly reflect.
 
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Purefilth

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Good to hear. Just remember, you only need Yourself to be happy, a relationship should be 2 happy people being even happier together.
you dont need a relationship to be happy


Peace.
 

BadNews

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bradd80 said:
hey nice thread :D

the blonde's hot, do you ever still bang her? if not, i think you should.
Hahaha! Thanks Bradd. We banged a couple times immediately following the breakup, but she kept throwing out the "can we still be friends" line. This, to my knowledge, never works out and is something I have no interest in. I've told her this...she wasn't happy. Unfortunately due to a few minor work obligations, I have been forced to remain in contact with her, but nothing more outside of work; and that's just the way I like it! I have seen a few signs that lead me to believe she is second guessing the breakup...perfect. But I won't be going back.

I've been so busy with work - actually just got home - that I haven't had time to post ANY of the shenanigans I've been up to post-breakup with Angela. I will try to make time tomorrow to get a couple of the stories up, with pics. I kind of wish I had started this thread immediately following the breakup so the facts about the stories would be fresh as I write them. Oh well, I'll do the best I can to convey what has gone down the past few weeks.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Krueg

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Are you stalking these chicks?
 
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