Bad texter or just not interested?

[nicksaiz65]

So there’s this girl that I went on a date with(not the same one as in nicksaiz65 Odyssey for my readers out there.) It went pretty well, it was fun. I haven’t really been able to see her that much after the fact because I’ve been busy, but I have been texting her. I’ve been flirting and trying to build that comfort/rapport, because I think I need to get to know her a little bit better for her to sleep with me. But her messages are... curt I guess? I can’t tell if this is Disinterest or if she’s just a bad texter. She did go out with me, after all. Here’s a sample of our texts where I was trying to figure out what kind of music she was into. I didn’t have a chance to ask on the date because it was kinda short and I didn’t want to interview her. And no, I don’t agree with only texting for logistics...

Me: I’m watching this replay and I really feel like Travis Scott could’ve sang way better at the Superbowl
Her: Yeahhh he def could’ve
Me: I just got put onto him tbh but who’s your favorite rapper?
Her: Uhmmm honestly I can’t say! I’m more of a 2000s and throwback girl myself
Me: Yeah I feel you on that. Old music > new music, that’s why I’ve been on 80s rock the last week and a half

(And I was left on read from there.)

I realize that this interaction isn’t very flirty, but I was more trying to get to know her on this interaction than flirt. I have been flirting with her. But if y’all wanna pick apart my text game on this interaction, let me have it. Constructive criticism.

Bad texter or just not interested? Or am I just a boring fvck? What do you guys think?

 

[backseatjuan]

Ok man, same mistake 99% here if not one hundred.

Just assume she is interested otherwise no reason to text you - of course there is, but.. You get her out on a date straight up, now.

For ps go youtube find ams on his channel find text and online and look up everything, go by it.

 

[sazc]

My texts will get short, curt, and left on read when I am otherwise busy, not interested in the topic, or not interested in the man.

If you want to know if she's interested, set up another date

 

[nicksaiz65]

Ok man, same mistake 99% here if not one hundred.

Just assume she is interested otherwise no reason to text you - of course there is, but.. You get her out on a date straight up, now.

For ps go youtube find ams on his channel find text and online and look up everything, go by it.

I didn’t realize AMS had texting videos honestly. I’ll have to check those out!

 

[backseatjuan]

My texts will get short, curt, and left on read when I am otherwise busy, not interested in the topic, or not interested in the man.

If you want to know if she's interested, set up another date

Would you say that if woman is bsing like it’s just best to go straight up for the date without bs? How would you line it?

 

[nicksaiz65]

My texts will get short, curt, and left on read when I am otherwise busy, not interested in the topic, or not interested in the man.

If you want to know if she's interested, set up another date

Anything inherently wrong with this short conversation you think? I don’t think I messed up trying to get to know her a bit better, but you never know.

I suppose asking her out again is the best course of action.

I’m just following the Dr. Nerdlove text game with statements and all that but idk if I’m messing up or not

 

[lamath]

Anything inherently wrong with this short conversation you think? I don’t think I messed up trying to get to know her a bit better, but you never know.

I suppose asking her out again is the best course of action.

I’m just following the Dr. Nerdlove text game with statements and all that but idk if I’m messing up or not

I hate txting and almost never txt but imo nothing wrong with that exchange

 

[sazc]

Would you say that if woman is bsing like it’s just best to go straight up for the date without bs? How would you line it?

Anything inherently wrong with this short conversation you think? I don’t think I messed up trying to get to know her a bit better, but you never know.

I suppose asking her out again is the best course of action.

I’m just following the Dr. Nerdlove text game with statements and all that but idk if I’m messing up or not

Honestly, it seems like text convos I will have with dudes that I'm interested in. Sometimes ur just busy, sometimes the subject doesn't interest you, sometimes the topic is interesting, you just don't feel like engaging - but that doesn't mean ur trying to run him off.

Yes, ask for the next date, her response will dictate get interest level.

And remember, with text conversations, someone has to end the conversation. Don't take it personally until you know there is something personal to take.

 

[sazc]

This was a convos I was having last night. It's a little deep, but he and I are discussing these types of topics regularly, despite never having met, and knowing that we probably won't meet soon sure to logistics.

HE stopped responding. I just figured he was done discussing the subject, no big deal.

Like I said, someone has to stop talking, don't take it personally

 

[Mike32ct]

Don’t admit to liking 80s music unless you are gaming a much older MILF lol*.

But no big deal. Text “conversations” end very abruptly because people are busy. It doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong.

Carry on and don’t worry about it.

*I love 80s music, but would only discuss it with older women.

 

[lamath]

This was a convos I was having last night. It's a little deep, but he and I are discussing these types of topics regularly, despite never having met, and knowing that we probably won't meet soon sure to logistics.

HE stopped responding. I just figured he was done discussing the subject, no big deal.

Like I said, someone has to stop talking, don't take it personally

Example of signs of low interest without being rude?

short anwser ,no question , taking forever to anwser etc?

 

[MillionBillionaire]

A chick that likes you and ones that are worth your time make it easy for you. They will help you, give you pre emptive information and even make suggestions.

Anything else is not worth your time.

Well, I may just be lazy but Fawwwkkk "working" on a girl.

 

[sazc]

Example of signs of low interest without being rude?

short anwser ,no question , taking forever to anwser etc?

Yep. When there is zero actual back and forth, and/or no attempt on the other person's part to engage you meaningfully, and/or they never reach out randomly, you can assume low interest and move on

Of course, if they do reach out randomly, and the same pattern continues, then it's best to try and set up a date so you suss out 'bad texter but interested?' or 'attention seeker'

Sometimes people are busy. One time I had a bumble guy message me just as I stated to clean my house so I was very sporadic in getting back to him. I assume that, since we had already met, he thought I was blowing him off/not interested. When I finally got back to my phone a few hours later I saw his note of'guess you're not interested' when I clicked on it he had already unmatched me. Don't be that guy

 

[Glassguy]

Anything inherently wrong with this short conversation you think? I don’t think I messed up trying to get to know her a bit better, but you never know.

I suppose asking her out again is the best course of action.

I’m just following the Dr. Nerdlove text game with statements and all that but idk if I’m messing up or not

I will slightly disagree. The stronger my text game gets the more I realize to just cut to the chase and get the date. Save any and ALL chit chat for the date.

You have a much larger chance of boring the shyte out of a woman through text than you do raising her interest level. Its easier to do more harm than good.

If a woman sends me a text I will respond, but again, I set up the next date in the response.

You are giving this woman non sexual attention. Free validation since you are texting her if you will.

You will only get to know her better face to face. Not through text. Same with her getting to know you. I dont buy "get her comfortable with me" for sex. High interest- she will have sex. Hot chicks are banging dudes on 1st and 2nd dates every day. Same chicks telling the next guy that she is not into hooking up and is looking for a relationship. The difference is interest/attraction level to the guy. Nothing more.

Would you say that if woman is bsing like it’s just best to go straight up for the date without bs? How would you line it?

Its always best to get to the point. Women want a man that will lead, not talk himself right into a lower attraction level through text.

"Hey you....hope you're having a good day. We need to get together for drinks again. What evenings are you free this week?"

Thats about all you need to send. She either accepts, counters (no counter in my wording because if she is interested she will tell me what nights she is free and I nail her to one of those times) or she gives me some BS like "I'll have to check my schedule", etc. and then I am dust in the wind unless she reaches back out to me later.

Cut the shyte, go for the kill, keep your chit chat for the dates unless she initiates and then its ok to respond back.

I believe in SOME text/messaging in between the setting up the date to the actual date, but skip the chit chat before asking her out.

If you know her well enough to ask her out, you dont need the chit chat and "comfort" building. Do that on the date- its call hooking her with high interest and then giving her space until the next date, wash/rinse/repeat.

 

[Glassguy]

Yep. When there is zero actual back and forth, and/or no attempt on the other person's part to engage you meaningfully, and/or they never reach out randomly, you can assume low interest and move on

Of course, if they do reach out randomly, and the same pattern continues, then it's best to try and set up a date so you suss out 'bad texter but interested?' or 'attention seeker'

Exactly. Lamath was on the right track too.

She asked OP ZERO questions, didnt seem engaged in the conversation through text, etc. Low interest. The chit chat without asking her out probably validated what she was thinking of him- someone who is not taking the bull by the horns and LEADING.

 

[sazc]

Exactly. Lamath was on the right track too.

She asked OP ZERO questions, didnt seem engaged in the conversation through text, etc. Low interest. The chit chat without asking her out probably validated what she was thinking of him- someone who is not taking the bull by the horns and LEADING.

Yep.

It's always better to try and set up a date in order to suss out interest.

Don't be that anxious, assuming, self defeating guy.

Opening with some chit chat is fine, then go for the date

 

[EyeBRollin]

My god stop texting!!

 

[EyeBRollin]

Men, stop putting so much emphasis on texting. Over 90% of communication is nonverbal. Texting should never be a priority.

 

[backseatjuan]

Honestly,...Sometimes ur just busy, sometimes the subject doesn't interest you, sometimes the topic is interesting, you just don't feel like engaging - but that doesn't mean ur trying to run him off.

Just what I thought, bs. You choosing and getting entertained. You don't feel anything masculine over online. You even pretend that if man is online he's sht from the get go. I do have a female friend, and I did fck her several times, at that I didn't chase her, she approach me and gamed over two years before she got to fck me in my office, after she paid money for my work, I have a video, do you want to see it? I help her out picking men to fck, because she has no clue. That's just goes to show you that you have no clue what you want. Best to run games and see what fishes out of it.

Men, stop putting so much emphasis on texting. Over 90% of communication is nonverbal. Texting should never be a priority.

It's not! We just all have crappy phone game, and women do in deed prefer text over phone so that they can chat with 10 other dudes at the same time. Chances are she wouldn't even pick up her phone if you call her, or call her back, because her phone game sucks balls as well.

 

[sazc]

Just what I thought, bs. You choosing and getting entertained. You don't feel anything masculine over online. You even pretend that if man is online he's sht from the get go. I do have a female friend, and I did fck her several times, at that I didn't chase her, she approach me and gamed over two years before she got to fck me in my office, after she paid money for my work, I have a video, do you want to see it? I help her out picking men to fck, because she has no clue. That's just goes to show you that you have no clue what you want. Best to run games and see what fishes out of it.
.

You are allowed to view it any way you want but don't project that bvllchit on me, that's never how I think or feel about engaging ppl on text.

People have lives and situations that occupy their time. It's pretty needy of you to assume that, Everytime you text her, she's supposed to be at your beck and call attention-wise. That attitude is not only overly needy, but will have you losing otherwise interested women, who might just not have time at.

If she's not responsive go for the date or back off and let her come to you. There's no reason to allow your anxiety to fill in the gaps, and run some negative narrative, like you have done here