Bad relationship with dad: red flag?

[TheBroccoli]

Started dating a girl who is very caring. A girl with an own life, and is a bit of a perfectionist. She interacts with a lot of men though (also physically because of the sport she does). Don't really know her that well yet, but I caught her on a few white little lies on the way. Here is the thing: she told me she grew up without her father. Her parents were in a divorce (lawsuit and all). She never talks to her dad. From what I've learned from outside sources is that the dad really is an *******. Do you have any experiences with women who grew up without fathers? What kind of psychological impact can this upbringing have on her sexual/romantic relationships? And how to deal with this?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Not necessarily. I knew females who grew up with abusive mom's who vowed to never be that way and they were good. It takes a real afult to accept they just don't get along and it might be their parents.

 

[lizardking82]

Most people who grow up without a fatherly presence in their lives are damaged and ****ed up in the head to a certain degree since they just have no guidance on anything. That leads to confusion, early AND wrong decision making about sexuality especially so for women who start sex at an early age and cannot help but have a high notch count which eventually facks up their ability to bond and connect in a healthy way.

Are there women out there who grow up without a father and "do well in life"? Depends on what you understand with "do well in life", but I am yet to see one. Although, lies, white or not, are never a good sign, unless they are about something like "I'll be there in 10 minutes" and she is there in 20, that is...whatever, I don't see that as a biggie, but when they white lie for no reason, not a really good sign.

 

[greatsnake]

Not all women exhibit these things, but be ready for chit tests, insecurity, jealousy and low self-esteem.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I've found these women are always subconsciously looking for a father figure--the one they never had. They often connect with older men or have affairs with them. Some marry young to gain a semblance of stability they never had growing up. They're not "all" badly damaged beyond repair--I mean we're ALL damaged, in some ways, right? They can be great girlfriends if you show strong leadership, set boundaries, and don't act AFC. I think a lot girls on SA lacked father figures.

The bigger problem occurs when the young female is denied love and affection from the mother. That's what creates the fertile soil for Cluster B to grow and in particular BPD.

 

[Billtx49]

The bigger problem occurs when the young female is denied love and affection from the mother. That's what creates the fertile soil for Cluster B to grow and in particular BPD.

Agreed, if she didn’t get the necessary maternal bonding at age 1-4, that’s when it all starts. If you add that to the same girl never knowing her biological father, and/or being banged by a stepdad in her teens, then you can have a headcase from hell on your hands…
For the most part, the person she is now took it’s initial form in her adolescence…

 

[greatsnake]

Additional signs to look after: attention whoring, always seeking validation and nothing that you do will be enough....

 

[greatsnake]

I'm dealing with one at the moment. I've placed her on the **** buddy list, because i don't see myself dealing with all the **** that comes with it.

 

[HoneyHitter]

She interacts with a lot of men though (also physically because of the sport she does).

No coincidence.

 

[EyeBRollin]

No need to analyze her. Bottom line her actions and be consistent with your game. You can waste months trying to find out "why," or you can just run your game and treat her actions for what they are.

To answer your question: you shouldn't care. If she's broken, her actions will show it eventually.