"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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AW or Hot to Trot?

Juando

Senior Don Juan
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Hey you guys-

A woman who LJBFd me a while back, I went through a bit of oneitis over her, long story short I moved on but recently she's sought me out.
I gave her some time with me, basically treated her like my brat, and now don't put any stock in investing time or energy in her, cute as she is, I don't need an AW in my stable.

But now I'm reflecting on our last convo, which she initiated: she asked me who I was dating and I told her I did not really want to talk about it.
She was persistent just as I was adamant to give her little or no info.
But the convo got sexual- she was asking all sorts of questions about my habits, do I use condoms, what kind, do I get tested for STDs, how long are the love making sessions, etc. Again, I mostly put her off, teased her, gave her a few crumbs. I even said, let me show you my condoms, in fact let's go to bed and get it over with.

I have written her off as an AW to be avoided, but now I need your perspective because sometimes I do miss the forest for the bushes: is she an AW or, as I've just started to wonder, was she sizing me up as a potential sex buddy by asking all those detailed questions? Was I being dense in missing a clear signal or is the AW diagnosis a better one?

I'm not going to pursue her, not going to invest time and energy but if this were to come up again with her, I'm not going to jokingly suggest a path to the bed, I will grab her by the hand and lead her there.

Thoughts?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
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Has she told you about her past interactions with men?

How she has treated them will determine how she will treat you and whether she is an AW or not.

If she mentions many male friends wanting more with her and her not feeling the same, or she tries to paint herself as the eternal victim not responsible for any of her relationship's endings or she talks very callously in a casual manner harshly criticizing her past ex's for why she is no longer with them be advised you are probably dealing with an AW.

Also since you sense you are dealing with an AW and have to treat her like a brat ie like you would treat a difficult child that is also a pretty telling sign.

Deep down you know what she is and that she is vastly different from other women you've met so no more need to doubt.

Stay far far away from this psychological ball of pain or at the very least if possible cut your emotions off from her, keep her at arm's length and use her as a human pincushion.
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Dear Juando,
This lady has probably led a relatively sheltered life and is interested in coming out of the closet,she is obviously ignorant about the protocol involved in getting restarted,but will be hot to trot.So set up a date,afterwards ply her with a little alcohol,then it will be easy peasy...She will not be put off but attracted to your Man of the World Persona,so don't play the nice guy...
 

Juando

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 1, 2007
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Thanks for keeping me sober and on course, guys!

I'm out of town now but my plan when I get back is to spin every plate
I have and put my *complicated* friend on the back burner....
 

insidious

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Maybe she tested positive for some crap or other and now she is slyly interrogating all her previous lays. So woman-like of her.

On edit, just realize you were not a previous lay. Oh well, ignore her ass and make her come to you. It's your ballpark.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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