Recently I have noticed something that fascinates me that I'm trying hard to understand.
I don't think we have talked about this much in the past, but it's very interesting to me how attraction works within a given peer group.
For example, I essentially have three groups that I associate with that are made up primarily of women. (I know, female friends are bad, blah, blah.) In each group of women I have begun to look at the dynamics of how certain women seem to become attracted to me and some of my friends.
The first group is centered around a chick I dated for awhile last year. She has since moved away and gotten married, but I still hang out with her friends from time to time.
The second group is centered around my AW friend.
The third group revolves around a good male friend of mine. This is the REALLY interesting one. It actually splits into three sub groups- one centers around my buddy himself, another his EX g/f, and the third his CURRENT g/f.
With group #1 I feel like I have been marked, like there's a big X painted on my forehead that prevents any of the women in this group from having any kind of attraction towards me. It's like even though the chick I dated is gone and has moved on with her life, the women still see me as "off limits". Of course it could just be that I am not attractive to any of them, but I believe it goes deeper than that in that I get a sense of distance from these women that seems to stem from my past relationship with their friend.
With group #2 things get a little more interesting. As I said, this group centers around my AW friend, and we all know that with an AW the spotlight always has to be on them. With her friends I don't sense the same distance I do from group #1, but at the same time her friends aren't all clamoring to hook up with me. Again, this could very well have to do with a lack of attraction.
Which brings us to group #3. This is where things get good.
My buddy is the reason why this entire group exists, but I haven't gotten any play directly because of him that I can remember.
His current g'f is the one who tries to hook me up with her friends. I haven't gotten a whole lot of action through her either, although it has happened.
His ex on the other hand is a big part of the reason for this thread. For some reason (and this is what I'm trying to figure out) it seems like almost ALL of this girls friends have taken an interest in me. With some of them I sense hesitation which probably stems from the fact that my buddy's ex has a thing for me, but I still get the vibe nonetheless.
I believe that the turning point for all of this came shortly after this girl moved back into town and started hanging out with us, and one night I ended up hooking up with her best friend. That night she was PISSED. I was in the jacuzzi with her friend and she flipped me off and stormed out and left, but the next day she was cool about it, and from that point on it put things into an entirely different frame.
Now I COULD be imagining some of this, but I live by the rule that says "If you think she's interested, she probably is". Generally when you sense attraction it is either TRUE attraction, or it's simply a woman looking for attention leading you on, which I don't get from any of these women.
So what is it that is working in my favor with this particular group of women?
I have tried to make sense of this dynamic so I can put it to use elsewhere, but it is difficult for me to put a finger on.
Could it be the fact that the "hub" of this group has attraction, and that I managed to create the proper frame when I hooked up with her friend right in front of her? I'm thinking it has something to do with that. Once I established this I had the social proof of TWO women in the group, neither of which could make any sort of "claim" on me. From there on it was just a matter of both of these women talking me up to the rest of the group, and BAM! I'm in with all of them. Also, I'm sure that the COMPETITIVE nature of women has something to do with it as well. If one wants you, many want you. If none want you, you become that much more invisible.
A couple of interesting things to note about this last group-
1) The "hub" is about 27 or so, but the rest of the group is 21-23.
2) Come to find out, my buddy is still fukking her. I'm sure this plays into the idea that she has no "claim" on me.
Thoughts?
I don't think we have talked about this much in the past, but it's very interesting to me how attraction works within a given peer group.
For example, I essentially have three groups that I associate with that are made up primarily of women. (I know, female friends are bad, blah, blah.) In each group of women I have begun to look at the dynamics of how certain women seem to become attracted to me and some of my friends.
The first group is centered around a chick I dated for awhile last year. She has since moved away and gotten married, but I still hang out with her friends from time to time.
The second group is centered around my AW friend.
The third group revolves around a good male friend of mine. This is the REALLY interesting one. It actually splits into three sub groups- one centers around my buddy himself, another his EX g/f, and the third his CURRENT g/f.
With group #1 I feel like I have been marked, like there's a big X painted on my forehead that prevents any of the women in this group from having any kind of attraction towards me. It's like even though the chick I dated is gone and has moved on with her life, the women still see me as "off limits". Of course it could just be that I am not attractive to any of them, but I believe it goes deeper than that in that I get a sense of distance from these women that seems to stem from my past relationship with their friend.
With group #2 things get a little more interesting. As I said, this group centers around my AW friend, and we all know that with an AW the spotlight always has to be on them. With her friends I don't sense the same distance I do from group #1, but at the same time her friends aren't all clamoring to hook up with me. Again, this could very well have to do with a lack of attraction.
Which brings us to group #3. This is where things get good.
My buddy is the reason why this entire group exists, but I haven't gotten any play directly because of him that I can remember.
His current g'f is the one who tries to hook me up with her friends. I haven't gotten a whole lot of action through her either, although it has happened.
His ex on the other hand is a big part of the reason for this thread. For some reason (and this is what I'm trying to figure out) it seems like almost ALL of this girls friends have taken an interest in me. With some of them I sense hesitation which probably stems from the fact that my buddy's ex has a thing for me, but I still get the vibe nonetheless.
I believe that the turning point for all of this came shortly after this girl moved back into town and started hanging out with us, and one night I ended up hooking up with her best friend. That night she was PISSED. I was in the jacuzzi with her friend and she flipped me off and stormed out and left, but the next day she was cool about it, and from that point on it put things into an entirely different frame.
Now I COULD be imagining some of this, but I live by the rule that says "If you think she's interested, she probably is". Generally when you sense attraction it is either TRUE attraction, or it's simply a woman looking for attention leading you on, which I don't get from any of these women.
So what is it that is working in my favor with this particular group of women?
I have tried to make sense of this dynamic so I can put it to use elsewhere, but it is difficult for me to put a finger on.
Could it be the fact that the "hub" of this group has attraction, and that I managed to create the proper frame when I hooked up with her friend right in front of her? I'm thinking it has something to do with that. Once I established this I had the social proof of TWO women in the group, neither of which could make any sort of "claim" on me. From there on it was just a matter of both of these women talking me up to the rest of the group, and BAM! I'm in with all of them. Also, I'm sure that the COMPETITIVE nature of women has something to do with it as well. If one wants you, many want you. If none want you, you become that much more invisible.
A couple of interesting things to note about this last group-
1) The "hub" is about 27 or so, but the rest of the group is 21-23.
2) Come to find out, my buddy is still fukking her. I'm sure this plays into the idea that she has no "claim" on me.
Thoughts?
