"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Attention seekers on OLD - at what point is enough?

JayAce

Senior Don Juan
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I’ve been on and off Tinder for the last couple years since a ltr ended. I’ve notched the occasional lay off of it in that span.

The thing I was pondering earlier was... when is the boiling point for some of these women who are on apps just for attention, but have no intention of ever meeting? Does it ever end? Until they finally meet their “Chad”?

I bring this up because I matched with a woman a couple years ago. We made small talk and then I brought up meeting up after a few msgs. She said she was broke, etc. So I said “no worries. hit me up if things change”. Left it at that and kept matching with other women.

A few weeks go by and she msgs me on the app and gives me her number. I give her mine back thinking “maybe she does want to meet”. I bring up the topic again. No dice. Says she is going through issues and recently had a panic attack. I just said “no worries. hope you get everything sorted out”.

This was in 2016.

This chick has txted me every few weekends for the most part for the past two years. There was one stretch that went a few months without contact, but that was it. She initiates all of the texts. I respond to less than 40% of them. They always say the same thing “Hey” “Hey there” “Hi” “What’s up”

“Well maybe she wants to hook up”. I don’t think so. I brought up hanging out again mid-last year when she texted and she brought up the issues excuse again.

I browsed her FB awhile back and see no sign of a BF, but I’m sure she does this to a lot of her matches. Just gets off on men msging and texting her. One thing I did notice on her FB was that she was a bit heavier in a couple of her tagged photos than she is in her main profile pics. I’m thinking she may be self conscious about that. If I had to rate her in the tagged pictures... a 4. If I had to rate her in her main pics (which were also her Tinder pics) a 7.

At which point is enough for them?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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AttackFormation

Master Don Juan
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At which point is enough for them?
No... at which point is it enough for you. How much longer do you want to be an orbiter or when are you going to stop replying to her, delete her info, stop going on her FB and stop thinking about her?
 

sazc

Master Don Juan
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you need to rely on YOUR STANDARDS, not someone elses.
 
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Tilex

Master Don Juan
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Online dating peaked ages ago.
You have no idea how much better it was 1 or 2 decades ago.
Meeting high quality chicks online these days is absolutely a myth.
You would have more luck finding the fountain of youth and drinking from it.

As long as you're looking for chicks online, you're feeding into the female ego.
It's never going to end because they're always hungry for it.
Think of it as fish in a tank and male attention is the food.
The fish eats the food and gives nothing back.
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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