"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read more...

Atom Smasher finds out what "BPD" means

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,657
Reaction score
6,614
Age
69
Location
The 7th Dimension
From now on, when I hear you guys mentioning a "BPD" girl, I will know exactly what you're talking about.

The following is just a little semi-rant. Just getting it off my chest.

I just got off a wild ride of 3 months. A great girl, absolutey hot, 45 years old with the body of a fit 28 year old.

But the emotional instability! I'm amazed I lasted as long as I did with her. She would consistently come up with all sorts of accusations about other women which were based on nothing but fear and conjecture. Not one iota of fact. And I was completely, perfectly faithful to her. She would vacillate between gently feminine to aggressive arrogance. Wow, what a ride this has been.

I figure I would hold out as long as I could in order to use the experience as training. But after last night's episode of accusations taken straight from the land of fairy tales and unicorns, along with another accusing text this morning, I had to pull the trigger.

It's a shame, really, because there was so much good stuff there. We had great chemistry in many ways, deep sexual attraction, and we had many laughs together. That's what makes it hurt a little.

I just Googled BPD because I never really knew what it meant. Now I know! Ultimately I feel sorry for this girl because obviously she's going to carry these issues with her into her next relationship. And she just can't see it. Her pride and arrogance were off the charts during her episodes.

Interestingly, she would weave an intricate web referencing words and phrases I had said before, and construct an accusation out of that. Somehow she would piece together experiences and phrases, and construct this gigantic web of fantasy. It was amazing to see because I could identify each strand in the web. It's like she used a combination of my phrases, our experiences, and her fears to contruct the web, and each part was visible and identifiable to me. Fascinating.

My gosh, I wish they came with a warning label.

So now I'm going to be walking my talk. I've gone NC and although those little inklings have been there to send that last little goodbye, I shall prevail. I find myself feeling sorry for her, because she's trapped in this behavior and can't get out. Very sad, really.

Thanks for letting me rant and get it off my chest, men. Back to the game!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

betheman

Banned
Joined
Nov 4, 2010
Messages
1,843
Reaction score
67
dont leap in there with the diagnosis AS, I think there is a grey area between fully fledged BPD's and apprentice BPD's. there are screwy women out there, deeply deeply insecure and those who have 'issues'...!!!!

either way, you havent got in too deep which is good but a hell of a rollercoaster eh? that sexual chemistry is so f cuking powerful or what?
 

scorpio1138

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 31, 2010
Messages
196
Reaction score
2
yeah the BPD is kinda generalized, but the degree of how bad it is really varies.


Good for you on figuring it out though and getting the hell out.

I did the same thing last august with a girl that had a few episodes.(reading up on it)

she told me she invented the Blackberry phone!!
 

PokerInTheRear

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2010
Messages
87
Reaction score
2
See how long you can stay away when she apologizes and cries and says all the right things.... Oh, and is full-on ready to polish your knob...

You can NEVER let her back in or you are effed. Run away fast.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,657
Reaction score
6,614
Age
69
Location
The 7th Dimension
We've already been through the crying and saying the right things.

Of course my inner nice guy let her in one more time last week, but I was detached and she was on probation. She sensed my detachment, of course, and being so emotionally weak, that alone destroyed any chance for it working.

But today I did take matters into hand and I took care of business. She won't be crying back because she just moved into a house with 2 other women and she has all that newfound support. They will demonize me beyond recognition.

I actually found her behavior to be rather scary, and I genuinely feel sorry for the girl because she's stuck in that behavior. I have no desire to re-establish contact, but I will miss the good stuff and the great aspects of her personality. Not for long, though. Movin' on.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Uberguy

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 15, 2010
Messages
210
Reaction score
15
Atom Smasher said:
I actually found her behavior to be rather scary, and I genuinely feel sorry for the girl because she's stuck in that behavior. I have no desire to re-establish contact, but I will miss the good stuff and the great aspects of her personality. Not for long, though. Movin' on.
Good move, AS! Crazy as she was, if she was truly BPD, you got out even before the really nasty stuff started to manifest. Some will cheat on you to get "revenge" on you simply because they worry that you might cheat on them someday, so they'll beat you to the punch. Others file false abuse/rape charges, while others turn out to be abusive themselves.

It varies, of course. Everyone with BPD is unique. Uniquely crazy.

Congrats on getting out!
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,589
Reaction score
6,377
Age
50
Location
midwestern cow field 40
Paranoid schizophrenia comes to mind based upon your accounts of her, but it's not like her specific diagnosis matters very much. "Crazy b!tch" is good enough.
 

Myrrdin

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 12, 2010
Messages
123
Reaction score
5
Location
Middle of Nowhere
Congratz. You've just graduated!!!!

Now think about having one of these for 1 year plus. A fvcking addictive living nightmare.
 
Top