"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Atom Smasher finds out what "BPD" means

Atom Smasher

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From now on, when I hear you guys mentioning a "BPD" girl, I will know exactly what you're talking about.

The following is just a little semi-rant. Just getting it off my chest.

I just got off a wild ride of 3 months. A great girl, absolutey hot, 45 years old with the body of a fit 28 year old.

But the emotional instability! I'm amazed I lasted as long as I did with her. She would consistently come up with all sorts of accusations about other women which were based on nothing but fear and conjecture. Not one iota of fact. And I was completely, perfectly faithful to her. She would vacillate between gently feminine to aggressive arrogance. Wow, what a ride this has been.

I figure I would hold out as long as I could in order to use the experience as training. But after last night's episode of accusations taken straight from the land of fairy tales and unicorns, along with another accusing text this morning, I had to pull the trigger.

It's a shame, really, because there was so much good stuff there. We had great chemistry in many ways, deep sexual attraction, and we had many laughs together. That's what makes it hurt a little.

I just Googled BPD because I never really knew what it meant. Now I know! Ultimately I feel sorry for this girl because obviously she's going to carry these issues with her into her next relationship. And she just can't see it. Her pride and arrogance were off the charts during her episodes.

Interestingly, she would weave an intricate web referencing words and phrases I had said before, and construct an accusation out of that. Somehow she would piece together experiences and phrases, and construct this gigantic web of fantasy. It was amazing to see because I could identify each strand in the web. It's like she used a combination of my phrases, our experiences, and her fears to contruct the web, and each part was visible and identifiable to me. Fascinating.

My gosh, I wish they came with a warning label.

So now I'm going to be walking my talk. I've gone NC and although those little inklings have been there to send that last little goodbye, I shall prevail. I find myself feeling sorry for her, because she's trapped in this behavior and can't get out. Very sad, really.

Thanks for letting me rant and get it off my chest, men. Back to the game!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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betheman

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dont leap in there with the diagnosis AS, I think there is a grey area between fully fledged BPD's and apprentice BPD's. there are screwy women out there, deeply deeply insecure and those who have 'issues'...!!!!

either way, you havent got in too deep which is good but a hell of a rollercoaster eh? that sexual chemistry is so f cuking powerful or what?
 

scorpio1138

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yeah the BPD is kinda generalized, but the degree of how bad it is really varies.


Good for you on figuring it out though and getting the hell out.

I did the same thing last august with a girl that had a few episodes.(reading up on it)

she told me she invented the Blackberry phone!!
 

PokerInTheRear

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See how long you can stay away when she apologizes and cries and says all the right things.... Oh, and is full-on ready to polish your knob...

You can NEVER let her back in or you are effed. Run away fast.
 

Atom Smasher

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We've already been through the crying and saying the right things.

Of course my inner nice guy let her in one more time last week, but I was detached and she was on probation. She sensed my detachment, of course, and being so emotionally weak, that alone destroyed any chance for it working.

But today I did take matters into hand and I took care of business. She won't be crying back because she just moved into a house with 2 other women and she has all that newfound support. They will demonize me beyond recognition.

I actually found her behavior to be rather scary, and I genuinely feel sorry for the girl because she's stuck in that behavior. I have no desire to re-establish contact, but I will miss the good stuff and the great aspects of her personality. Not for long, though. Movin' on.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Uberguy

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Atom Smasher said:
I actually found her behavior to be rather scary, and I genuinely feel sorry for the girl because she's stuck in that behavior. I have no desire to re-establish contact, but I will miss the good stuff and the great aspects of her personality. Not for long, though. Movin' on.
Good move, AS! Crazy as she was, if she was truly BPD, you got out even before the really nasty stuff started to manifest. Some will cheat on you to get "revenge" on you simply because they worry that you might cheat on them someday, so they'll beat you to the punch. Others file false abuse/rape charges, while others turn out to be abusive themselves.

It varies, of course. Everyone with BPD is unique. Uniquely crazy.

Congrats on getting out!
 

Bible_Belt

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Paranoid schizophrenia comes to mind based upon your accounts of her, but it's not like her specific diagnosis matters very much. "Crazy b!tch" is good enough.
 

Myrrdin

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Congratz. You've just graduated!!!!

Now think about having one of these for 1 year plus. A fvcking addictive living nightmare.
 
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