In the Book of Pook, Pook appears to push two very important qualities of a DJ: getting rid of desire for women (i.e. outcome independence, taking women off the pedestal, etc), but simultaneously making obvious your desire for women (i.e. "the sexual ones get the girls"). This makes sense to a certain degree, but ultimately I feel that these two principles fundamentally contradict each other.
Desire women but get rid of your desire at the same time? See what I'm saying? The philosophies are sound in principle and make sense theoretically-speaking, but I feel they are impossible to adopt for most males who have read the book in the first place. Let's be honest; most of us read this book because to some extent, our success with women was not up to par or even nonexistent.
It has reached the point in my life that I am so sexually frustrated from being rejected, mocked, stood up, and blown off by girls that it has drastically distorted my view on how to approach women and what attitude/philosophy to adopt. Negativity has taken over my mind, thereby making it impossible to attract women in a natural way. My past experiences have reinforced the detrimental ways in which I interact with women.
I cannot focus. I can't speak to a women I'm attracted to without acknowledging the fact, subconsciously at least, that I desire her on an instinctual, purely carnal, biological level. I can try to drown out the little lustful voices in the back of my head, but I cannot deny my very own nature.
Reading self-help articles and books on inner game isn't going to change the fact that I am a 21 year old kissless virgin who has never done anything sexual or intimate with a girl. Repeating "I am the prize. B*****es ain't s***." and other mantras multiple times a day may work in theory, but I really just see it as banging your head against the wall multiple times, numbing your mind temporarily and giving yourself a quick fix or buzz of superficial confidence. This buzz will quickly disappear as soon as you actually go out and the field and try to apply what you've read.
Sexual activity is one of the most fundamental human needs, alongside food, shelter, oxygen, etc. As animals, we are programmed to procreate to survive. Sexual deprivation, when strung out too long, leads to desperation, which leads to unattractive approaches to girls, which therefore leads into more deprivation and more desperation. The vicious cycle, at this point, fuels itself. Survival through sexual activity becomes impossible as the deprived becomes psychologically isolated and, in some scenarios, psychologically damaged. "Survival value" diminishes and mating skills are heavily reduced.
In my case, it reached the point where I was drinking heavily every night for over a week for two reasons: one, to drown out the depression brought about by sexual deprivation and two, to lower my inhibitions, get rid of shyness, and hit on girls.
This didn't work. It became a full-blown addiction and I ended up in a hospital for two or three weeks to be treated for suicidal depression, insomnia, and crippling social anxiety.
Most of my problems with mental health in my life have revolved around my lack of experience with girls and deprivation of intimacy. It's hard to really feel that "you are the man" when your history with females has proven otherwise. Talking to girls without f***ing up is damn hard when you have all this baggage holding you down. A couple phrases in some book written by some guy I've never met in my life isn't going to change this.
Sure, I go to the gym. I work part-time. I'm currently not going to school right now but even when I did, I was surrounded by tons of hot, drunk girls who hit on me all the time; even then, despite being at a top, competitive school and having endless potential opportunities, my view of myself and level of sexual deprivation remained.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it is one thing to be sexually-frustrated and a little unhappy. This will drive girls away but if you can catch yourself and your AFC-ways quickly enough, there is hope to reverse your attitude and slowly your behaviours.
But how can I REALLY get rid of desperation, when it has affected not only my sex life and confidence, but also my mental health and social skills? Tell myself "Your desperation is driving girls away. Stop being desperate. You are the prize! As you think you shall become!"? There is no magic button to suddenly stop the desperation. You can ACKNOWLEDGE the desperation, but you are really just sweeping the desperation under the rug, trying to hide it, when interacting with a girl.
What can I do at this point? Bang a hooker, get the sexual hang-ups out of the way? Find some random drunk b**** at a club and take advantage of her, no strings attached, to get it out of the way? Keep drinking alcohol to drown out the voices of anxiety holding me back?
Thoughts?
Desire women but get rid of your desire at the same time? See what I'm saying? The philosophies are sound in principle and make sense theoretically-speaking, but I feel they are impossible to adopt for most males who have read the book in the first place. Let's be honest; most of us read this book because to some extent, our success with women was not up to par or even nonexistent.
It has reached the point in my life that I am so sexually frustrated from being rejected, mocked, stood up, and blown off by girls that it has drastically distorted my view on how to approach women and what attitude/philosophy to adopt. Negativity has taken over my mind, thereby making it impossible to attract women in a natural way. My past experiences have reinforced the detrimental ways in which I interact with women.
I cannot focus. I can't speak to a women I'm attracted to without acknowledging the fact, subconsciously at least, that I desire her on an instinctual, purely carnal, biological level. I can try to drown out the little lustful voices in the back of my head, but I cannot deny my very own nature.
Reading self-help articles and books on inner game isn't going to change the fact that I am a 21 year old kissless virgin who has never done anything sexual or intimate with a girl. Repeating "I am the prize. B*****es ain't s***." and other mantras multiple times a day may work in theory, but I really just see it as banging your head against the wall multiple times, numbing your mind temporarily and giving yourself a quick fix or buzz of superficial confidence. This buzz will quickly disappear as soon as you actually go out and the field and try to apply what you've read.
Sexual activity is one of the most fundamental human needs, alongside food, shelter, oxygen, etc. As animals, we are programmed to procreate to survive. Sexual deprivation, when strung out too long, leads to desperation, which leads to unattractive approaches to girls, which therefore leads into more deprivation and more desperation. The vicious cycle, at this point, fuels itself. Survival through sexual activity becomes impossible as the deprived becomes psychologically isolated and, in some scenarios, psychologically damaged. "Survival value" diminishes and mating skills are heavily reduced.
In my case, it reached the point where I was drinking heavily every night for over a week for two reasons: one, to drown out the depression brought about by sexual deprivation and two, to lower my inhibitions, get rid of shyness, and hit on girls.
This didn't work. It became a full-blown addiction and I ended up in a hospital for two or three weeks to be treated for suicidal depression, insomnia, and crippling social anxiety.
Most of my problems with mental health in my life have revolved around my lack of experience with girls and deprivation of intimacy. It's hard to really feel that "you are the man" when your history with females has proven otherwise. Talking to girls without f***ing up is damn hard when you have all this baggage holding you down. A couple phrases in some book written by some guy I've never met in my life isn't going to change this.
Sure, I go to the gym. I work part-time. I'm currently not going to school right now but even when I did, I was surrounded by tons of hot, drunk girls who hit on me all the time; even then, despite being at a top, competitive school and having endless potential opportunities, my view of myself and level of sexual deprivation remained.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it is one thing to be sexually-frustrated and a little unhappy. This will drive girls away but if you can catch yourself and your AFC-ways quickly enough, there is hope to reverse your attitude and slowly your behaviours.
But how can I REALLY get rid of desperation, when it has affected not only my sex life and confidence, but also my mental health and social skills? Tell myself "Your desperation is driving girls away. Stop being desperate. You are the prize! As you think you shall become!"? There is no magic button to suddenly stop the desperation. You can ACKNOWLEDGE the desperation, but you are really just sweeping the desperation under the rug, trying to hide it, when interacting with a girl.
What can I do at this point? Bang a hooker, get the sexual hang-ups out of the way? Find some random drunk b**** at a club and take advantage of her, no strings attached, to get it out of the way? Keep drinking alcohol to drown out the voices of anxiety holding me back?
Thoughts?
