At my all time low - need some words in commonsense and encouragement

[DJVladdy]

I friken have tears in my eyes right now, fellas. Almost thought of suicide.

I was going through the "misc" bodybuilding site, where people are discussing what they miss about high school. Many of them said stuff like: getting laid was so easy, and "I realized girls want it 10x more than we do bla bla bla."

I'm 24 and still not good with women. Did not get even to first base till freshman year of college with an ugly drunk chick, who talked crap about me after words.

The highschool parts really hits hard. Was it really so easy? Looking back, I remember that I thought I had no chance anyways, though I really wanted to have sex and all. I ignored the girls, and the ignored me back.

I feel so inadequate and a complete failure. It seems like such a "given" that everyone gets laid in high school, and especially college, that even such a question sounds rediculous. For example i wrote in the google search bar: how to gt laid in high school (just out of interest), and I'm seeing answers from girls such as, "you wont, if you even have to ask that".

The worst thing is, I'm not hideous or anything, pretty masculine, dont really have any serious issues or anything. Why wasn't it easy for me then? Never mind that - why was it IMPOSSIBLE? I didn't know how, and I still dont know how.

I feel absolutely horrible guys, seriously. Help me out here, tell me something, where did I go wrong?

Any advice, suggestions, questions, and tough love is appreciated.

Thanks.

 

[DJVladdy]

I know this might sound incoherent, because it's kind of a stream of consciousness straight from the heart.

Is it because I was inherently inferior to everyone else in college and high school? And if so, then how?

 

[Chamber36]

If I was you I'd take a good dose of psychedelic mushrooms and sort myself out.

You gotta learn to have fun during every day life.

 

[DJVladdy]

I do have fun actually,
but **** like this really gets to me man, and I wanna figure it out, it tortures me from time to time. I wanna get to the bottom of this.

 

[DJVladdy]

and if I took some of those schrooms or anything like that, I'd definitely kill myself, lol. Some girl in college told me that "oh, other guys just have THE CONFIDENCE". The one I made out with on my second day later on posted on her facebook "friends dont let friends hook up with that". My former friend whom I told to f off and never talk to me again after a convo in which he said, " girls might hook up with (your friend A, B, or C) BUT NOT YOU.

Man,
You think these things dont eat at me every day to this day?? I was drunk one time, and messaged them something along the lines of "thanks for trying to destroy me, you just made me stronger". I still have that pain though.

How am I worse than eveyone else? Why could I not be "cool" and "hot" and "popular", or "that attractive jerk", or at least any of the above.

Fvck me.

 

[Chamber36]

maybe you're dealing with a tough crowd? I might be in the same position if I wasn't able to travel and see that girls aren't stuck up everywhere.

What specifically seems to be the problem?? Where's the sticking point?

Are you getting numbers?? dates? lays? second dates?

What about reference points where you were very succesful in game? Were there any nights that you were absolutely on fire?? What was different then?

And maybe you let your looks get sloppy?

What's the root of the problem?

 

[DJVladdy]

Good questions bro, and I'll be sure to answer them for you tomorrow when I'm feeling more sane.

Those are problems from the past that bother me to this day. And maybe lead to problems I'm having now. Now everything is much better, but still, I will try to figure out why my HS and college days went to Sh1t like that, and a total waste.

And you said - girls arent stuck up everywhere etc. I dont find that an excuse: if they are stuck up theres STILL guys who are banging them aren't there?

I'm gonna get back to you on the questions.

 

[typical]

Trust me bro highschool was not easy, there was just a abundance of crazy young horny girls and it seemed easy.

Take out your yearbook and take a good look at the so called "hotties", I bet my last dollar that they actually were never that hot.

The only thing that was easy in highschool was that if you went up and talked to a girl she was either a) totally into you or b) flatout rejected you. No two ways about it so after a year of trying to talk to girls in highschool you had to have had a few if not half a dozen chicks.

You gotta take that same mentality today and step up to the crease and swing away and keep swinging till you hit something. Sitting here having a cry like a girl won't ever change a thing, so what If your history is a bit sad suck it up cause you control your tomorrow and can do anything with it.

This simple idea is thrown around constantly but hardly anyone ever gets it, hell it took me nearly a decade of learning from this site to finally understand that idea.

Once you understand nothing matters no lines no what if questions no dwelling on yesterday nothing, all that matters is what I done today and what I can get done tomorrow and always always trying to get with as many quality women as I can.

 

[DJVladdy]

First off,
Typical, thank you man, I needed that

My problem: I assumed I was unattractive. I was really overweight, did not take care of my appearance, did not try to improve social skills, and stayed in the comfort zone all the time, waiting for something to magically change. Now to think about it - yea I probably had opportunities, lol.

I looked at my yearbook, and yea, most were not really hot. I went to 2 high schools actually (both big high schools in different cities: one for fr and so year, and the other for my jr and sr year). It does not seem like either was a huge fvckfest - and I really dont know any guys who laid alot of chicks there.

I went to my five year reunion, and talked to some of those "popular guys", and honestly they seemed like normal dudes, and assumed I was like them. Nothing special, I did not feel like they were really above me in the game aspect.

And yea, I will try my best because now I believe that I can truly get good and make up for the time lost.

 

[Mike32ct]

I went through all of high school and college without so much as a kiss. I was incredibly shy and totally clueless with women despite being an above average looking dude. My high school was a vocational/trade school that was like 80 percent dudes. Then I commuted to college (university) so I never step foot in a dorm or ever got to go to a party.

I didn't get a makeout until 27. I didn't even step foot into a bar or nightclub until nearly 29. But I still didn't give up. At 31, I made out with two women at once .

You're still young and you have access to SS. You can't change the past, but you can definitely learn from it and do much better starting today.

 

[roman81]

I went through all of high school and college without so much as a kiss. I was incredibly shy and totally clueless with women despite being an above average looking dude. My high school was a vocational/trade school that was like 80 percent dudes. Then I commuted to college (university) so I never step foot in a dorm or ever got to go to a party.

I didn't get a makeout until 27. I didn't even step foot into a bar or nightclub until nearly 29. But I still didn't give up. At 31, I made out with two women at once .

You're still young and you have access to SS. You can't change the past, but you can definitely learn from it and do much better starting today.

That's inspiration right there, nice post bro!

 

[Inlone]

Sounds like you're going through a sort of dark-night-of-the-soul.

So, where did you ''go wrong''?

Well, you didn't go wrong. Seeing it that way will just lead you to more unhappiness. You're engaging in emotional reasoning, where you mistake powerful feelings for facts. I'm here to tell you that how we feel isn't who we are.

Lacking a particular skill (in this case, picking up girls) does not make you a failure, since each of us is more than the sum of whatever skills we have or don't have. You feel intense regret. It feels terrible for you right now -- I know, I've been there. But all moods are temporary. After awhile, you'll be in a better mood (thought it too is temporary).

You've got time to develope your skills with girls. Take advantage of SS. Read heartiste/roissy. Learn.

 

[DJVladdy]

Good discussion here fellas. Helped me alot

Ive never felt so horrific in my whole life, like last night, as well as during my drive back from work. But, something came over me shortly after and I had almost an epiphany. Like many things are falling into place. Feels great, and I know I can do it. I was never really that far - just fear and laziness always held me back.

 

[typical]

One Thing I did learn was to stop looking back and feeling sorry for myself or feeling bad at what I had done in my afc days. Instead whenever I think about those things I work out exactly what I done wrong back then and make sure I don't do anything that stupid ever again.

these so called epiphanies keep coming to me every few months where I realize that my previous way of thinking was so out of wack.

An example of this is how I kept telling myself that with all the game I had learned from this website I would be able to find and keep a good girl whom I could marry and have a family with, I believed this crap till the middle of 2010. When the dream got shattered with her cheating on me with a fat balding guy that had money.

I zoned out of fantasy land once and for all, I became a realist and now the only thing that matters to me is my own life and enjoying it while looking after my close blood relatives all else is null and void. I still date women but now I don't expect anything from them all I want is a fun time and nothing more.

I may settle down but that will be when I near my late 30's .................I may never settle down as its now the last thing on my list of things to get done in my life.

 

[marmel75]

Bro, I understand where you are coming from, but just realize that everything in life can be temporary if you want it to be. Just make a decision you will change and believe in it. Visualize yourself having the results you want with women. On a subconscious level the brain cannot distinguish between what you visualize and what really has happened and after doing it for a while you will be surprised at how much more confidence you have. This is true for any aspect of your life, but it can definitely be applied hete.

Also, remember that new people you meet or talk with have no idea all this stuff in the past has been bothering you, only you. People will believe what you believe about yourself to a large degree. If you project strong confident body language they will believe it. The key is you have to believe it first.

 

[synergy1]

I went through all of high school and college without so much as a kiss. I was incredibly shy and totally clueless with women despite being an above average looking dude. My high school was a vocational/trade school that was like 80 percent dudes. Then I commuted to college (university) so I never step foot in a dorm or ever got to go to a party.

I didn't get a makeout until 27. I didn't even step foot into a bar or nightclub until nearly 29. But I still didn't give up. At 31, I made out with two women at once .

You're still young and you have access to SS. You can't change the past, but you can definitely learn from it and do much better starting today.

My story is similar to yours. I think guys like us appreciate the success more than naturals who never had to work at it. You pretty much nailed it when you said that you never gave up. This was how I eventually got rid of my bad tendencies and became good with women is working at it and never giving up.

People can be amazed at the transformation they are able to make if they put in the time and energy. However its an active process where you have to play to your strengths, and admit weaknesses while improving them. Easier said than done. Most will give up, settle and default to a women they might not like.

OP - my suggestion is this:

1- Work out, get in shape. Don't listen to the naysayers. As a former skinny guy, I can't tell you the amount of respect I get from guys/girls now when compared to 10 years ago. Its not even close. When you are in shape, women will come up to you and basically give themselves to you without you having to do all that much. NEVER neglect your athletisism.

2- Go to bodybuilding.com forums, misc - relationship help and find suaceheads 'guide to getting chicks' . Read it, and post on the thread. SH still posts there and will help you out if you ask. He taught me what I know now and can help you too.

3- never give up. your best times can be in front of you.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Whenever your mind tells you "I can't go on" "I'm hurting too bad" "Ow ow ow" tell it to "Shut the fvck up!" The #1 Main thing you've gotta do is to Make Money which means an all-out onslaught to WORK your fvckin as5 off to accumulate big cha-ching. This will not only build your character,k but also your confidence, self-respect, and the ability to say "whatever" to Any chick of Any age who disrespects you. When you fully exploit your strengths (fvck your weaknesses - don't try to improve what you're not good at), you rise wellllll beyond Any woman and begin to see them All as weak children because you are a strong Man, who you were born to be.

Trust me. You can fvck a woman (these days) and no matter how well you fvck her (I mean, she's mesmorized by how sexually adept you are), she'll (if she's hot or a 6 and above) Still EASILY have another guy to replace you for her "other" needs such as taking her on trips (either worldwide or locally), buying her clothes, buying her diamond earrings or toe rings or finger rings). There are soooo many guys willing to "impress" any willing girl who shows them even a smidgen of attention, that she'll, from day-to-day, FORGET you in a heartbeat, especially if you lay down the law and say that you will not take her out to that expensive restaurant or take her skiing or on a cruise, whatever. She'll Easily have some guy (no matter his age, could be 50 while she's 23-24) to provide her all these things. Women Use us for both sex and money, and children (in some offthewall cases). They are what drive this American Con-sumer economy. Women in other countries aren't like the spoiled rotten ones here in America, YET. Once the total LONG drawn-out depression hits, these females in America, these precious daddy's (both genetics and surrogate) girls will be sh!t outta luck and not as arrogant as they once were. Their level of living will be drastically lowered to suicidal levels.

So don't worry about "how awesome" it'd be to fvck a girl, dude. While it's nice to fvck em, really, Currently, most American women are a Bane to an American man's existence. As such, I'll probably Never get married. They are Way too expensive to coddle to. I'd rather be able to buy whatever gun I'd want at moment's notice, or car, or computer, or whatever. If I had a constant woman on my side, I'd probably be leaking half my paycheck due to her nonstop demands (in order to keep her "not bored"). Let some other guy fuel these American women's excessive spending habits. I will not be the one for them, until it all crashes, until all of our standards of living are lowered significantly with 30-40% unemployment, and complete carnage financially across the board.

You are 24. Get your house in order, all the while improving your game (go to clubs, bars - you are Young dude). Start maximizing your income as best you can Now, else you will never get laid by any sexually appealing American hypergamous women.

 

[oxford comma]

Whenever your mind tells you "I can't go on" "I'm hurting too bad" "Ow ow ow" tell it to "Shut the fvck up!" The #1 Main thing you've gotta do is to Make Money which means an all-out onslaught to WORK your fvckin as5 off to accumulate big cha-ching. This will not only build your character,k but also your confidence, self-respect, and the ability to say "whatever" to Any chick of Any age who disrespects you. When you fully exploit your strengths (fvck your weaknesses - don't try to improve what you're not good at), you rise wellllll beyond Any woman and begin to see them All as weak children because you are a strong Man, who you were born to be.

Trust me. You can fvck a woman (these days) and no matter how well you fvck her (I mean, she's mesmorized by how sexually adept you are), she'll (if she's hot or a 6 and above) Still EASILY have another guy to replace you for her "other" needs such as taking her on trips (either worldwide or locally), buying her clothes, buying her diamond earrings or toe rings or finger rings). There are soooo many guys willing to "impress" any willing girl who shows them even a smidgen of attention, that she'll, from day-to-day, FORGET you in a heartbeat, especially if you lay down the law and say that you will not take her out to that expensive restaurant or take her skiing or on a cruise, whatever. She'll Easily have some guy (no matter his age, could be 50 while she's 23-24) to provide her all these things. Women Use us for both sex and money, and children (in some offthewall cases). They are what drive this American Con-sumer economy. Women in other countries aren't like the spoiled rotten ones here in America, YET. Once the total LONG drawn-out depression hits, these females in America, these precious daddy's (both genetics and surrogate) girls will be sh!t outta luck and not as arrogant as they once were. Their level of living will be drastically lowered to suicidal levels.

So don't worry about "how awesome" it'd be to fvck a girl, dude. While it's nice to fvck em, really, Currently, most American women are a Bane to an American man's existence. As such, I'll probably Never get married. They are Way too expensive to coddle to. I'd rather be able to buy whatever gun I'd want at moment's notice, or car, or computer, or whatever. If I had a constant woman on my side, I'd probably be leaking half my paycheck due to her nonstop demands (in order to keep her "not bored"). Let some other guy fuel these American women's excessive spending habits. I will not be the one for them, until it all crashes, until all of our standards of living are lowered significantly with 30-40% unemployment, and complete carnage financially across the board.

You are 24. Get your house in order, all the while improving your game (go to clubs, bars - you are Young dude). Start maximizing your income as best you can Now, else you will never get laid by any sexually appealing American hypergamous women.

i dont want to judge you but you seem to have an extremely pessimistic outlook on women. i hate this mentality on this forum where all girls are money grubbing sluts and that good girls dont exist and that love isnt real blah blah blah. girls are cool, at least the ones i know. i only really meet *****es when i go to clubs.

 

[Poonani Maker]

i dont want to judge you but you seem to have an extremely pessimistic outlook on women. i hate this mentality on this forum where all girls are money grubbing sluts and that good girls dont exist and that love isnt real blah blah blah. girls are cool, at least the ones i know. i only really meet *****es when i go to clubs.

I meet at least 100 new unique women (of all ages) per week on average. I think that I know what I'm talking about. I've met an older woman with a 19 yr old son, who I'd definitely consider attractive both sexually/friend-wise. She's probably 10 yrs older than me, from a different era. Almost ALL of the young 18 - 30s I meet are highly volatile, in high demand, independent (due to so many guys at their beckon call), and stuck on themselves, their appearance, their social media, and laughing about something alien (probably rooted in fashionable entertainment somewhere) that I don't really understand or readily grasp (what's so fvckin funny all of the time?, I tend to prefer quieter women, I've ceased pursuing the overly-chatty psychological ones, who can't ever just stfu and listen to a waterfall or something once in a while, why the cellphone ALL. tha. time.).

**of course, I'm pessimistic. The young one I fvcked last week has already replaced me this weekend apparently, giving me an "out of town" excuse (I believe her, but with whom??), but I still plan on getting with her next weekend, but have a hunch that she'll find another excuse, but not sure. We're still on pretty good terms, and I am feeling sour grapes uncertainty right now as I type, but I could meet up with another one I've met a couple of months ago, but never went out with, but have kept in contact with. I called her once this week, and she didn't know. I don't really feel like doing anything tonight though, but I could with one or two or three who I said I would. I will have to cancel two or all three, or just not answer their calls. I'm not that horny, and being around women just for the sake of being with them is not my idea of fun if I don't have the drive to fvck em.

 

[HighResurrection]

Stop living in the past. The only time you should go to the past is to remember you victories. Making out with a girl is better then not kissing any girl at all. Re-frame that and take away the positive. Set goals for where you want to go in the future relationships, wealth, health, etc. Visualize and get to work.

gentlemen I have a quote

It's mine in no one else said it before.

"Work the solution to all life's problems".

pending patent.

if you take it I'll sue you ass.