"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Astute Observational Powers

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Jules Verne

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You can start with mystery novels. Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot shaped my childhood.

Furthermore, you can learn more about body language, connecting people through interaction, and cultural differences.

Every person you see from there is an opportunity to practice your skill.
 

SmoothTalker

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Do you mean with people, or just everything in general?

For general, I've heard (but haven't tried yet) that an effective exercise is to start forcing yourself to make useful new observations every day. It doesn't have to be anything profound, just be more observant all the time. For example, next time you're walking a familiar path, notice where the big crack in the sidewalk is, notice how many steps are on the stairs in your house, notice the colour of your neighbours door, etc. Over time this should get you into the habit of noticing a lot.

For people, unfortunately I find my ability to predict behaviour greatly increased when I started being more cynical. A LOT of behaviour is easily explained if you think of people acting only in their own selfish interests.
 

Paradox

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SmoothTalker said:
A LOT of behaviour is easily explained if you think of people acting only in their own selfish interests.
This is quite true. People often do not think about the welfare and feelings of others before taking action.

Our every action affects not only our future but the future of others.

Detective novels, stories, Detective and CSI like TV shows can definitely help.

One female poker player (Anne Duke?) also uses FBI profiling techniques.

If you are interested in catching liars there is a TV show about that. I forget the name.
 

theunflushables

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From observing.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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