Mr. Unique
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2005
- Messages
- 654
- Reaction score
- 2
Do you know any one who has it? How do they act?
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Don't see it as a bad thing. It is what it is, unfortunately it picked you as a host but you can always look for the positive. That should be your focus brother.JackBauer24 said:I was diagnosed with Aspergers last year.
who doesnt love hands?KarmaSutra said:The Jerry Espensen character on Boston Legal started off as a goofball but has evolved into a positive role model. Would be good for you to check out season 2 of Boston Legal just for him (and it's the second best show on tv behind Lost).
All the best to you youngblood.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You seem to be a bit intolerant and spiteful of this young brother. Does it hit too close to home? There isn't any need to post this kind of thing in here. None at all. This brother wants some help and some guidance and you sully this thread, and your name, with this? If you're pissed about it then DO something about it. Don't bring someone down merely to assuage your own angst.Potbelly said:Is this really a disease? Hell, I can think of dozens of people around me that are at least like this sometime. I probably have this disease.
But guess what, I don't give a damn because psychology is bullsh1t. Took them 50 years to approve of this as a disease and pin it in the same category as autism. fools....stop looking for problems where there is none. you're not that important to have a fvcking syndrome that basically means you get depressed sometimes and enjoy some alone time.
I agree so whole heartedly. This whole Asperger's thing didn't come out until 1983 or so. And it is especially true that normal male behavior has stricter standards than for females. Women are free to be either as introverted or eccentric as they want to be without penalty. Men are simply not! Actually, the truth is that no matter how abnormal a female's behavior is, they will spindoctor it into something positive such as being "unique" or "or "colorful" or "mysterious" or they'll say something like "she has spirit!". It never occurs to anyone that a lot of women deliberately affect eccentricities to try to appear more interesting than they actually are! A lot of men do get accused of being contrived, pretentious and sporting affectations however.ketostix said:I'm sure there are people who are far from the "norm" and have asperger's and/or aultism. But I also think there's a certain percentage of people particularly males who are naturally and normally introverted and more logic based. They're basically normal in very way, they're just some percentage of the pop. maybe a little less than 25% who are introverted and different socially and probably gifted in other areas.
There's probably an almost equal or maybe slightly less number of women the same way. The difference is in the difference in how men if they don't appear to be from a cookie cutter are not tolerated in this society in general and how they're labeled as "asperger's", "aultistic" or "creepy" or who knows what just for having a natural and normal unique personality type. Whereas if a female is introverted, no one thinks anything is wrong with it at all. She's consider just "shy and feminine" or maybe stuck up, but never abnormal. Because let's face it, no matter how truely abnormal a female's behavior is it's generally accepted if not encouraged. I truley believe these diagnosis of primarily males in many cases are reflection and example of sexism and intolerance.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Indeed, I've made huge research on the subject because the controversy interested me. Asperger's is pure bull5hit in 90-95% percent of the cases.Yotsuya-san said:I agree so whole heartedly. This whole Asperger's thing didn't come out until 1983 or so. And it is especially true that normal male behavior has stricter standards than for females. Women are free to be either as introverted or eccentric as they want to be without penalty. Men are simply not! Actually, the truth is that no matter how abnormal a female's behavior is, they will spindoctor it into something positive such as being "unique" or "or "colorful" or "mysterious" or they'll say something like "she has spirit!". It never occurs to anyone that a lot of women deliberately affect eccentricities to try to appear more interesting than they actually are! A lot of men do get accused of being contrived, pretentious and sporting affectations however.
Just goes to show that psychology is conformist bull**** most of the time.
I know some symptoms of Aspergers Syndrome, like an inability to pick up on social cues, such as reading others body language. Their own speech may be flat and difficult to comprehend because of a shortage of pitch or tone, uneasiness with any changes in routines. May either stare at others, or evade eye contact. They might not have compassion and many more.Mr. Unique said:Do you know any one who has it? How do they act?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.