asking out nervously?

[popcorn]

Is it worth asking someone out if you are so nervous its impossible to hide? or is it better to write an e mail ?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Doing it face to face even if you are a little nervous can be seen as enduring. Doing via email usually says that you are a frightened dweeb (if you see her regularly).

Either way, if she says 'yes,' what's going to keep you from being nervous during the date? Take the woman off whatever pedestal you have her on by focusing on how she would be the lucky one to be out with you.

It's all about semantics.

 

[popcorn]

Yeah but i been askin women out to their faces for years and i know they reject me cuz im nervous.

 

[Viking25]

Then try e-mail. Whatever works man! You got nothing to lose anyway.

 

[California Love]

If you're nervous, it's better not to ask in the first place. In a good situation, both of you should know it already and the words will not even need to come out.

 

[Ice Cold]

Originally posted by popcorn
Yeah but i been askin women out to their faces for years and i know they reject me cuz im nervous.

You won't last through the date man. You don't beleive that a girl can like you.

Work on that first, then ask them out.

 

[ali_g]

There's no easy way round this, you've just got to keep asking girls out. I still feel a bit of nerves, but if you get practice regardless of whether you get rejected or not, your confidence will improve in this area.

I still feel some jitters when doing it; besides I read somewhere once that some girls think it's cute when a guy asks them out and he's a little nervous.

 

[Cremasta]

Originally posted by popcorn
Yeah but i been askin women out to their faces for years and i know they reject me cuz im nervous.

What have you been asking them out to do? Dinner and a movie... that kind of thing? Maybe you should try changing what you are going to do with this girl when you take them out. Try something that you are good at, or at least will take your mind off the 'date' aspect of the date. Do something active or engrossing, something outdoorsy maybe.

Get it into your head that you will just be going to do something fun and you are giving her the opportunity to come along.

Nervousness does suck, but how nervous can you get when you are thinking about waterskiing, blading, etc...

Cheers

 

[Mac]

Ask her out face to face. Most guys here were very nervous at one point or another too.

Will you stutter somewhat and will it look forced? probably. But thats ok and heres why.

The only way you will be able to ask out girls in the future without being nervous as hell (you will always be somewhat nervous) is to keep to doing it till its not a big deal anymore. The more you do it the less of a big deal it is.

No matter what happens you will learn form your experience.

If she does say yes, you will learn from the date, even if it doesnt go that well. Will you be sad if it doesnt go well? ineveitbaly, but in the long run who cares becuase the next gril you will be more experienced and a better dater.

If she says no, you learn not to be nervous. You learn to deal with rejection and realize even the greatest DJs get rejected soemtimes. You learn how to make more interesting conversation and how to keep things focused on her primarily.
You learn the wrold will go on if she says no.

Anyways, if you ask her out in person she has to give you soemthing back in return, an answer. She cant just leave you hanging. With an email she could easily type i am busy. She doesnt have to face the issue. She can be evasive.

So be fair to yourself ask her out face-to-face

-Mac

 

[popcorn]

i agree mac.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Viking25
Then try e-mail. Whatever works man! You got nothing to lose anyway.

That sounds way too desperate and without focus. It sounds like a "Lets try this and see what happens" method.

I still say that you should focus on what exactly is making you nervous and to stop trying to avoid it.

Face it, if you see a HB out somewhere, are you going to wait to get her email address when other DJs walk pass you and ask her out directly? Why set yourself up for a loosing battle?

 

[TooColdUlrick]

popcorn...you are scared of rejection because you are insecure about who you are, simple as that. you must overcome this. u r 24, it's time to step up and be a man. if u don't pretty soon, it's unlikely you ever will.

ask her (or any chick) out as if they are your "friend", but do NOT act as though u want to be their friend, as per this whole site. afterall, u r getting to know this person merely to see if you have chemistry (attraction).

let it fly and have fun. if it helps, don't consider it a "date" per se. that'll take the pressure off.

practice asking her out in front of the mirror. get your general "lines" straight and repeat over and over and over. have a line if she accepts, a line if she's wishy washy, and a line if she declines.

ask her in person, but NOT in front of anyone else if you can muster it. wvssy pvssy boyz ask via email, although i've done it when appropriate.

good luck bro...

 

[TheRock]

Practice make perfect .I usually say something like .I am going to whatever tonight and you can come along if you like.If she says yes then say great if she says no ,also say great now I can take my girlfriend and just laugh. you will feel a lot better try it .

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by Viking25
Then try e-mail. Whatever works man! You got nothing to lose anyway.

To quote a line from Cruel Intentions, "email is for dorks and pedophiles". If you have to send a note, use the post.