"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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asking out face-to-face or via phone?

ChesterB

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Hey guys, I just wanted be sure what's better, asking a girl out face-to-face or via phone? Or doesn't it matter at all?

I see this girl once or twice a week in a sports course.

If you want some background information on why I have the number: Second time we saw each other she asked me if I'd go to that music event, too. I replied "Yeah, I think so. We might go there together." She agreed, we exchanged phone numbers. Unfortunately she cancelled. Next time we met she apologized again for cancelling. Well, I believe she had a good reason, not low IL.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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SDBmania

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No worries

Then it sounds find to call her up. You already got past the hard part. If you want to, you can just call her up and ask what she is doing. It's better then having to wait till the next time you see her in person.
 

JJMcLure

Master Don Juan
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Either is fine.

Do whichever comes soonest, don't wait for the perfect moment, it never arrives. So giving her a call is probably the answer.

If you use the phone, build some rapport first, then ask her. Then get off the phone. Don't stay and chat on the phone, that's what the date is for.

Just don't ask via e-mail.
 

ChesterB

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one more question

Thanks for your answers.

Would it seem weird if I'd call her today to set up a date on Thursday, though it's likely that I'll see her on Tuesday in the sports class?
 

SDBmania

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No

I don't see anything wrong with setting up a date for Thursday via phone before you see her Tuesday. Besides, if you wait too long, she could have plans.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

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