Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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asking out face-to-face or via phone?

ChesterB

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Hey guys, I just wanted be sure what's better, asking a girl out face-to-face or via phone? Or doesn't it matter at all?

I see this girl once or twice a week in a sports course.

If you want some background information on why I have the number: Second time we saw each other she asked me if I'd go to that music event, too. I replied "Yeah, I think so. We might go there together." She agreed, we exchanged phone numbers. Unfortunately she cancelled. Next time we met she apologized again for cancelling. Well, I believe she had a good reason, not low IL.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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SDBmania

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No worries

Then it sounds find to call her up. You already got past the hard part. If you want to, you can just call her up and ask what she is doing. It's better then having to wait till the next time you see her in person.
 

JJMcLure

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Either is fine.

Do whichever comes soonest, don't wait for the perfect moment, it never arrives. So giving her a call is probably the answer.

If you use the phone, build some rapport first, then ask her. Then get off the phone. Don't stay and chat on the phone, that's what the date is for.

Just don't ask via e-mail.
 

ChesterB

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one more question

Thanks for your answers.

Would it seem weird if I'd call her today to set up a date on Thursday, though it's likely that I'll see her on Tuesday in the sports class?
 

SDBmania

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No

I don't see anything wrong with setting up a date for Thursday via phone before you see her Tuesday. Besides, if you wait too long, she could have plans.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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