Asking A Girl Out Over Aim (or any instant mesg type)

[BBX]

Theres a girl I met through a friend of mine and she hates him so i'm basically stealing her away. I almost hooked up with her and thats a big deal bc she never hooked up with a guy before. She said I like you sooo much better than your friend.

Anyway I just asked for her aim through myspace and i want to ask her out. So would asking a girl out through aim be a bad idea. Take into consideration that she dosent have much experence with guys.

 

[S1NN3R]

Chat with her for a little bit, then get her number. Don't actually set-up a date on instant messenger. If she's actually willing to meet up with you, then she should have no problem giving you her number, and setting up the date over the phone let's you hear her tempo and tone which gives you a better indication of her interest level.

 

[BBX]

Chat with her for a little bit, then get her number. Don't actually set-up a date on instant messenger. If she's actually willing to meet up with you, then she should have no problem giving you her number, and setting up the date over the phone let's you hear her tempo and tone which gives you a better indication of her interest level.

Yea but do you think that also goes for high school and/or an immature girl?

 

[S1NN3R]

Yes.

 

[Vincent]

Oh god. Here's my Scale of preference for conversing with girls, 1 being best and 10 being worst

1: Best of course, because it leaves so much opportunity for kino, emotion, and other, uhm, things

10: Phone, not bad but not great, you can express yourself better but the lack of physical content really hurts it

100000: Aim or other messaging programs, especially myspace. These are horrible, they're good for talking amongst friends but if you're trying to get a girl, NEVER EVER USE AIM. You have no expressive capabilities, and all it is is words. So many things can be perceived wrong over aim and there is absolutely no physical cababilities. It's all just empty words. I've made the mistake of trying aim before but it really just buggered up the whole situation, giving both of us a high sense of interest then when something was perceived wrong it spiraled out of control and completely died. She was a friend of mine in HS and we haven't talked in over a year and a half since this incident.

 

[S1NN3R]

Internet is a fine way of meeting people, but that's it. If you're emailing or IMing and don't get a number within three talks or a date within five, next her, she wants a pen pal.

 

[deadaim89]

hey man sorry i havent posted in a while, i started my first ever rotation, and its tiring me out. Dont ask a girl out over aim, get her number, pick a meeting place get her there. End of story.

 

[BBX]

Well guys i'm a fvcking idiot. I said something like your pretty cute we should hang out sometime.....over aim. I also think i jumped into it pretty soon and fvcked myself up. Your comments are needed.

 

[Potbelly]

here's my comment:

you're a foking dumbass for ignoring everyone's advice. "don't ask her over aim"

you: "durhh um i'm a retard i asked hre out durhh gimme more adivce so i can ignore it ...durrh i'm a dumbass yay!!"

goddam dude. listen to the people here. they have something you don't called EXPERIENCE

 

[BBX]

^yea i kno but she wasnt gonna give me her number over aim

 

[S1NN3R]

Did you ask her for it?

 

[BBX]

I asked for her number after i asked her to hang out and she said shell give me it when i see her.

 

[S1NN3R]

So you were saying that she wouldn't give you her number over AIM as a way of validating the fact that you asked her out on AIM, but you asked her out before you asked for her number? I see. If you asked her out first then you would have had no way of knowing that she wasn't going to give you the number and as such, no reason to ask her out over AIM rather than getting her number. So then why did you ask for advice and do exactly what everybody told you not to do?

Screw up #1. Typed conversations with prospects should be absolutely minimal and have a purpose. Get the number, get it over with. If she won't give you the number over AIM or through e-mail, then she's just not that interested in you.

Screw up #2. Telling her "you're pretty cute". If she's cute, she knows it and she knows you know it. Telling her does nothing but demonstrate to her that you are seeking her approval and lowering your comparative value.

Screw up #3. "we should hang out sometime." If you actually said this to her, please start from square one in the DJ Bible. Read the whole thing again, and don't skip anything this time. Might as well say "hey, let's never have sex!". Not good.

So you don't have a number, you don't have a set date, and you've done nothing but stroke her ego. Not so super on your part.

Send her a message (not AIM, email style message so there's no discussion), saying that you want to meet-up with her at X time on X day and tell her you need her number to confirm. If she sends you any response that does not include her number, delete it and move on. If she says she can't make the specified time, say "ok, take care" and move on to new and more exciting girls. If she tell you to get on AIM again and chat with her, block and move on (are you seeing a pattern here?). If she doesn't do what you want, move on. Assert yourself, and if she fights it, what makes you think she'll be the type of girl you want to play with anyway?

 

[S1NN3R]

He doesn't appear to know her in real life yet. If he did, this wouldn't be the same conversation. We'd all be telling him to talk to her in real life. But, since e-mail and IMs seem to be him only contact options at this point, you have to work with what you've got.

what the fok did ppl do before computers were invented?!?!

They probably spelled "people" correctly, instead of using jargon.

 

[BBX]

Yea thanks sinner, well i fvcked this one up. Now that I think about it I don't really care, I don't like the shy inexperenced type anyway that cant take any c+f. Forget it, I learend it the hard way. I wanted to take the advice of asking for her number first but it didnt feel like it would fit in, whatever, I needed the experence, I got it, maybe i've over thought this whole thing, i dont know. The point is i'm making afc moves that I should of done in middle school and not god dammn high school. I really never tried in middle school for some gay reason. Her friend is a girl that thinks im a total creep so theres a glitch in the system and im better off fvcking up early with her than later. All I can say is bring on the fat chicks.

 

[BBX]

He doesn't appear to know her in real life yet.

Naaa man I do, I met her when I was hanging out with a friend of mine.

Edit: Is it just me or does everyone suck balls this bad when there first getting there feet in the water. I missed out on a lot, im trying to get to where I should be, only had one gf and that was like a whatever situiation when I was like 13 or 14.

 

[S1NN3R]

true true. mr english teacher s1nn3r. oh what's that? a little squiggly red line under s1nn3r?? oh noes!

Hey now, S1NN3R is spelled properly! It's Cambodian for "733tspeek is teh suX0rzz!!1!one!".

Naaa man I do, I met her when I was hanging out with a friend of mine.

Well then what the hell are you doing wasting time on IM and MySpace for?!? If you've met her in real life then you probably know where to find her for more real life connections instead of "lol"ing and "brb"ing.

 

[BassBuddha]

Ok, dude. I know this is probably after the whole thing blew over, but here's what I would've done:
1. Never touch your friend's ex-woman, even if they broke up. It's kinda ****ed up, it says "Hey dude, this chick finds me attractive enough to ditch you."
2. If she's never had a boyfriend or other things of that kind, and she does weird *** like the "I'll give you my number when I get there" thing. There's no logical reason for that other than that she is trying to follow a science of dating that she doesn't quite understand, as she made the first cardinal sin: Don't make things more complicated than they have to be.
3. If you can meet her in person, like at school or something, do so. Only use AIM if you're doing something else, and not to any great extent. In addition to misinterpretations, it makes you seem unreal to her, which removes you as a prospect for physical contact. You will undoubtedly get the friends relationship. As for you, it will replace real-time experience with her with experience with a computer which may or may not actually be controlled by her, meaning that you can't see, understand and act on her body language, and the person you deliver the big line on might be her little sister who accidentally signed in. I know, I've made all these mistakes in naive times past.

 

[CrazyAsianBiker]

I've actually gotten a number off of Myspace then AIM.

I just myspaced her a couple times.

AIMed her, within 5 minutes i had her number.

Started calling her and never AIMed her again.

It's pretty simple..... You can express emotions to a certain extent but things DO GET ****ED UP over instant messengers, i've gotten in fights with friends over it.

I'll give an example of slight emotions.


Hey.... How are you? Hm.... Well that's good . Look, I don't have much time here but leave your number and we'll meet up.

Female : (***) ***-****

Simple as that.

 

[BBX]

I've actually gotten a number off of Myspace then AIM.

I just myspaced her a couple times.

AIMed her, within 5 minutes i had her number.

Started calling her and never AIMed her again.

It's pretty simple..... You can express emotions to a certain extent but things DO GET ****ED UP over instant messengers, i've gotten in fights with friends over it.

I'll give an example of slight emotions.


Hey.... How are you? Hm.... Well that's good . Look, I don't have much time here but leave your number and we'll meet up.

Female : (***) ***-****

Simple as that.

I like this.

Could there be any chance in hell that with what I did, theres still hope. Like is it a given that I 100% fvcked up with what I did? I said something like "I usally dont say this to a girl i just met but your pretty cute, we should hang out". I mean cmon whats wrong with that. Well whatever I learned the hard way, but theres gotta be hope. I got other options so fvck her its not the biggest deal.