"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Asked someone out offline - first time in three years!!!

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Congratulations to myself!

I asked out a girl at the office and she said yes.

First person asked out since June 2003 - OFFLINE.

Hooray! Now I have to follow up with it later. Also have another offline prospect from the same office.

Worried about dating office people though, unlike internet, if you really screw up, you have to see them again forever.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Desdinova said:
Good stuff! :up: Just don't tell your dad, or he might c0ckblock you again.
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

Wait a second, he just might....

Listen to Des, tell NOONE!
 

crossboss

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Good job.

Man I am proud of you. I didn't expect you'd change so I gave up on you. But that's what it is all about, asking in real life.
 

Maximus Rex

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Luke Skywalker said:
Congratulations to myself!

I asked out a girl at the office and she said yes.

First person asked out since June 2003 - OFFLINE.

Hooray! Now I have to follow up with it later. Also have another offline prospect from the same office.

Worried about dating office people though, unlike internet, if you really screw up, you have to see them again forever.

So why are you dating people you work with? I happy it worked out for you, but you should really avoid talking to women you with. Things can go really bad.


Can you share the details of number close and how you got a date?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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LA_Chico

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congraulations bro, whos the lucky guy?
 
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congrats, how did it all go down?
 
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More details...

Field report:

g: "I haven't seen you in the office in a long time, are you ok?"
ls: "I had to deal with some family issues, anyway, I'm starting back out now".
g: talk -- acting warm and affable.
ls: "Would you like to go out for coffee sometime?"
g: "Yes".
ls: "Great, I'll get back to you once I have my schedule sorted out, btw, can I have your cell number".
g: "I'm at the office most of the time."
ls: ok.
Good rapport taste when leaving.

Point is I asked someone out. Once I'm ready to pursue it, well, I guess I'll just pursue it, the next time I see her in the office.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Luke Skywalker said:
...Point is I asked someone out. Once I'm ready to pursue it, well, I guess I'll just pursue it, the next time I see her in the office.
Yeah, but why didn't you just ask her out for today or tomorrow? What's going to make you ready to pursue it?
 
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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Yeah, but why didn't you just ask her out for today or tomorrow? What's going to make you ready to pursue it?
Once I start going to the office regularly, and start going from the morning to the evening, then I'd feel more comfortable about taking her someplace for lunch or out for coffee during the course of the day. If I'm at home and tending to my mom or doing something else then it sort of puts me off balance.

Anyway, I intend to pursue this, I didn't plan on asking her out, it just came out of my mouth and was actually surprized it even happened as I intended just to talk with her, not to ask her out, so I went further than I expected and am doing something totally out the box.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Luke Skywalker said:
...Anyway, I intend to pursue this, I didn't plan on asking her out, it just came out of my mouth and was actually surprized it even happened as I intended just to talk with her, not to ask her out, so I went further than I expected and am doing something totally out the box.
You should really consider running with things when you're on a natural roll. It's as is you are more comfortable when you aren't concerned with everything else that is going on in your life.
 
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asked out 18 y/o secretary....

I tried chatting up the 18 y/o secretary, and it seemed that she liked to chat with me, so I asked her out, and said "would you like to go out sometime for coffee?"

She replied that she doesn't go into coffee shops but only hangs out with her friends inside cars.

I decided not to pursue to ask her if she wanted to hang out with me inside my car outside the coffee shop and got cold feet since, well she works at my office and she's 18 y/o and.....well.....I guess I'm not sure how I would proceed with that one.
 

Celadus

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If you think its wise to date women at work, it's probably not a good idea to ask more than one woman out at a time. Women talk.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Celadus said:
If you think its wise to date women at work, it's probably not a good idea to ask more than one woman out at a time. Women talk.
They'll still talk even if you ask them out one at a time. It can be a difficult thing to deal with if things don't work out with any one of them.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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