MatureDJ
Master Don Juan
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
article: The Rise and Fall of Charm in American Men
- Thread starter MatureDJ
- Start date
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
sharkbeat
Master Don Juan
I think charms has lost its way in American culture because of misinterpretation of men, turning it into what we call today the bad boys. There's the real man charm, and there's a fake bad boy figure, but neither of those are willing to be stepped on by women. The key difference is that the fake bad boy imagery (which unfortunately is reinforced by PUA communities) focuses on trying to put an image of men over the wavering unstable personality of a young man. This results in over-the-top personality that holds no authority. You could still get laid, however.
Very few men are genuine. I postulate that this is because of lack of physical and mental challenges in American lifestyle. Marketing isn't helping out much when it's posting a picture of a man with a young blonde in an expensive car -- "The American Dream" -- giving a false image that money and material possession is the way into manhood. Men need challenges, both physical and mental. Men need risks. It is what the testosterone for.
Very few men are genuine. I postulate that this is because of lack of physical and mental challenges in American lifestyle. Marketing isn't helping out much when it's posting a picture of a man with a young blonde in an expensive car -- "The American Dream" -- giving a false image that money and material possession is the way into manhood. Men need challenges, both physical and mental. Men need risks. It is what the testosterone for.
the article talks about charisma, really. The root of charisma means "grace" or "favor" or "gift." It was generally considered a gift from god. I don't really believe a person can "learn" charisma. You either have it or you don't. And very few men/women throughout history have had it, and that's why it's so celebrated.
Great body, great clothes, great money, great image beats an average man with charm every day of the week. We didn't dictate that, women did. Any time a woman is being "charming" with you means she sees you have the first listed criteria, not that she thinks you are charming or worth charming. Otherwise they will treat you like sh-t, and to be fair most guys do the same no matter what "good personality" she possesses. Charm is great... once you have the basics down.
There is an element of charm in social value, but it's better identified as "manipulation and button pushing."
Oh and as for that article, I don't need some tardwit making a bunch of allusions to MOVIES and other entertainment and trying to relate that to reality. Just another way of finding men lacking without being obvious about it. I don't read crap like the Atlantic, New Yorker or other gynoculture trash and neither should any man who wants to find peace and success in life.
There is an element of charm in social value, but it's better identified as "manipulation and button pushing."
Oh and as for that article, I don't need some tardwit making a bunch of allusions to MOVIES and other entertainment and trying to relate that to reality. Just another way of finding men lacking without being obvious about it. I don't read crap like the Atlantic, New Yorker or other gynoculture trash and neither should any man who wants to find peace and success in life.
apprenticedj
Senior Don Juan
I really liked this article, thanks for posting. Charm is truly a lost art and nowhere is it more apparent (to me at least) then when I observe the way we converse with one another. I'm not even referring to going out, just basic interactions while going about our day, running errands. Our interactions are so brief, we cut to the chase immediately, no time wasted. I attribute this to our go-go-go lifestyle.
One of my biggest mantras in life is simply two words: SLOW DOWN. We miss so many things on a daily basis as we hurry about and this relates to conversations as well. Just watch an old guy at the grocery store. He's casually strolling about, making his selections, chatting with the guy stocking the shelves, talking to someone about how good the peaches are, sharing a laugh with the cashier etc. Some would say this is possible because he's retired and he has the time but I think there's an entirely different reason. He was raised during a time when things were slower. He's enjoying life at a leisurely pace and that's my goal.
One of my biggest improvements in gaming women and social outings in general has been in my conversational skills. When I would talk to a HB in the past my mind would be racing as I'm trying to drum up the next line or the next witty thing to say. So much so that I wasn't even really present in the moment.
Now I SLOW DOWN. I take my time to listen and enjoy the conversation for what it is, simply a conversation, no more, no less. Once I had that realization my outlook shifted and I've found a sense of calm about the whole ordeal. We build it up in our minds but it's simply two people talking. That's it.
When you're calm you can naturally exude charm. You're witty, clever and by listening and asking questions you're able to direct the conversation and let the other person share the work.
Imagine how that looks next to some bro who's loud, drunk, obnoxious and trying to spit weak game? No comparison.
One of my biggest mantras in life is simply two words: SLOW DOWN. We miss so many things on a daily basis as we hurry about and this relates to conversations as well. Just watch an old guy at the grocery store. He's casually strolling about, making his selections, chatting with the guy stocking the shelves, talking to someone about how good the peaches are, sharing a laugh with the cashier etc. Some would say this is possible because he's retired and he has the time but I think there's an entirely different reason. He was raised during a time when things were slower. He's enjoying life at a leisurely pace and that's my goal.
One of my biggest improvements in gaming women and social outings in general has been in my conversational skills. When I would talk to a HB in the past my mind would be racing as I'm trying to drum up the next line or the next witty thing to say. So much so that I wasn't even really present in the moment.
Now I SLOW DOWN. I take my time to listen and enjoy the conversation for what it is, simply a conversation, no more, no less. Once I had that realization my outlook shifted and I've found a sense of calm about the whole ordeal. We build it up in our minds but it's simply two people talking. That's it.
When you're calm you can naturally exude charm. You're witty, clever and by listening and asking questions you're able to direct the conversation and let the other person share the work.
Imagine how that looks next to some bro who's loud, drunk, obnoxious and trying to spit weak game? No comparison.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Dear MDJ,
This is a really good post...In the busy cosmopolitan City there is neither place,nor time for charm..I am surprised that no one has mentioned the role of computers in this demise of charm,they create an expectation of immediacy in all forms of social interraction,and often they deliver the goods,but something is lost along the way.
This is a really good post...In the busy cosmopolitan City there is neither place,nor time for charm..I am surprised that no one has mentioned the role of computers in this demise of charm,they create an expectation of immediacy in all forms of social interraction,and often they deliver the goods,but something is lost along the way.