You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Yes the study would have been more relevent if it focused on long terms/marriage partners in their 30's or 40's. But since it is focused more on short term college age women "feelings" with regards to the quality of their own relationship vs. their partner porn viewing then it reached the conclusion that porn damages relationships.samspade said:Porn is fine in small doses but it can do damage to a relationship.
That said, this is another story where the obvious isn't addressed, i.e. why are they looking at porn in the first place. You could just as easily have a story about women reading Harlequin novels or 50 Shades of Grey.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Or maybe simply makes you aim highter therefore forcing you to perform more and more in order to get it?PairPlusRoyalFlush said:Porn is toxic and highly addictive, we all know it just admit it. It raises your physical standards to unreasonable and unhealthy levels, which limits your opportunities.
Not if you watch fat girl porn!!!PairPlusRoyalFlush said:Porn...raises your physical standards to unreasonable and unhealthy levels
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
PairPlusRoyalFlush said:Porn is toxic and highly addictive, we all know it just admit it. It raises your physical standards to unreasonable and unhealthy levels, which limits your opportunities.
Exactly. The problem is not the porn. The problem is that the girlfriends/wives are so inattentive that their boyfriends/husbands need porn to have some kind of outlet. A porn habit does not cause a bad marriage; a bad marriage causes a porn habit.Who Dares Win said:Seriously just imagine how frustrated a guy can be to prefear porn to his girlfriend/wife.
The key word here is report. In other words, women who DON'T report about their husbands porn use, or simply don't know about it, aren't having this same self-esteem problem. The ones who report it are having issues with it. It's a self-selecting bias.Young women who report that their romantic partners look at porn frequently are less happy in their relationships than women partnered with guys who more often abstain, new research finds. Discovering explicit material on a partner's computer "made them feel like they were not good enough, like they could not measure up"