article: I Never Want to Have Sex With My Boyfriend

[metalwater]

I'm here on SS on a journey of learning and self discovery as this situation isn't really a typical and the kicker is that
I long for company but am too bewildered by social interactions to satisfy that longing preferring to isolate to insulate
myself from judgement I guess? I'm just trying to understand the mating game better, here seemed a good place to start.

the spectrum is what it is. it is not better or worse, but something. everyone is in it, but most just a little. some of us more, and others a lot. The increased ability for focus and concentration together with strong IQ creates ppl that can do things others can or will not.

the intense desire for honesty is almost crippling. or not almost, it actually is.

an ASPI is hard-wired for oneitis. If there is a woman that honestly wants an honest, considerate, man she would pick such a man. Not what most women want.

take pride in being who you are. can't change who we are, but we can learn more scripts to play depending on what is occurring. this site SS provides tones of decent scripts to play depending on what has occurred. many of them will work exactly as advertised. no need to know why.

our best chance is in excellence. by seeking excellence in something, we create enough light that others will be drawn to us regardless of our ability to manage it. I am humbled to say that no women will be drawn to an aspi, but they will be drawn to the energy created when doing excellence and others are pulled by that. they will get caught into the current. not a loss cause, just different than what men that do no experience this have. their advice usually will be to just man up. the ones that understand will have different advice.

 

[Ricky]

This will not work. This a situation that is well documented. Once her desire fades down down to a level of zero desire or even unexpressed resentment or even resentment...it’s over.

Billions of dollars have been pumped into this. Pharmaceutical companies are doing everything they can to make a pill to rekindle a woman’s desire for her husband or boyfriend. Zero results. It’s because it’s not a chemical problem. Like she said in the article, she can masturbate just fine. There is nothing wrong with her. Spinning plates will do nothing for this. It’s over.

However, there is a fantastic cure and it’s very well known in the scientific community. A new lover. It works every single time for her. No exceptions. This is why some go to swinging and other separate lover solutions.

No DJ bull$hit will work. Look it up. Been scientifically studied to death. Thousands of research papers. If this happens to you then you know it’s over. Women are smart enough to keep giving sex to you sporadically to keep you in place. It’s the only thing she really can do. No matter how much she loves you. Loving you is not the same thing as being in-love (girl speak). Being in-love with you means sexual desire for you. It’s over for him unless he’s ok with functionally dead sex.

So my wife and i were having lots of quarantine intimacy.. then poof. It sucks. I am pretty sure i can get it back but there are some complicating factors. The question is should i even try so hard when there are probably plenty of other options out there and its likely we will be having a summer of love given the pandemic slowing down.

 

[Ricky]

well the longer it goes. The worse it will get. Make the call. Either initiate intimacy or write it off. You will figure it out.

She is having a midlife crisis and its gotten more complicated unfortunately.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

She is having a midlife crisis and its gotten more complicated unfortunately.

She's fvcking with young dudes now?

 

[christie]

All I can tell you is what I have universally have observed.

Let’s say a woman’s desire runs down. She gets bored. She has a very ugly internal condition.
She does not have the capacity to initiate inspiration within herself. This is a major difference between men and women. Don’t you EVER let another tell you that women and self-initiate inspiration. It’s the lie of ages.

This is why women need men. It’s a biological thing. They are built to nurture and care. This is the complete inverse of a man.

I will tell you a secret. It’s very important. The reason women pursue men, no matter how much money she makes. No matter how strong she thinks she is.

The secret:
women need to derive inspiration from the chemical ****tail that a new desire brings. These chemicals actually allow her to start dreaming again. Inspiration. Without it, she is quite the dismal creature for vast majority of women. Under those chemicals, she is on cloud nine and believes she can accomplish or do anything. It’s a lie.

She is subject to her chemicals in the world of men. To pull off the “powerful”, amazing creature better known as the “bytch”, she has to interact with men and get those chemicals. She is an addict to her own biology and thus, in this state, a lower class being. Any woman can get laid. That’s not special or interesting. It’s really about those chemicals and states of being they steal from men.

Yes, those chemicals are stronger than food or water as sustenance.

I don't know what I will replace my supply with when I stop working with men. So I'm conditioning myself now.

 

[christie]

I appreciate an honest woman.

Its working.
Hopefully I can help my relatives by these gains.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Its working.
Hopefully I can help my relatives by these gains.

"Gains" usually gains resentment...

 

[christie]

"Gains" usually gains resentment...

good point, good reminder.

I'm learning keeping my mouth shut on the process is best. Relatives benefit from your improvements, but they don't really want to know the amount of work that is the iceberg below water.
Just by improving myself, I help others. That's how I meant that when I wrote 'hopefully I can help my relatives by these gains'

 

[SW15]

This will not work. This a situation that is well documented. Once her desire fades down down to a level of zero desire or even unexpressed resentment or even resentment...it’s over.

Billions of dollars have been pumped into this. Pharmaceutical companies are doing everything they can to make a pill to rekindle a woman’s desire for her husband or boyfriend. Zero results. It’s because it’s not a chemical problem. Like she said in the article, she can masturbate just fine. There is nothing wrong with her. Spinning plates will do nothing for this. It’s over.

However, there is a fantastic cure and it’s very well known in the scientific community. A new lover. It works every single time for her. No exceptions. This is why some go to swinging and other separate lover solutions.

No DJ bull$hit will work. Look it up. Been scientifically studied to death. Thousands of research papers. If this happens to you then you know it’s over. Women are smart enough to keep giving sex to you sporadically to keep you in place. It’s the only thing she really can do. No matter how much she loves you. Loving you is not the same thing as being in-love (girl speak). Being in-love with you means sexual desire for you. It’s over for him unless he’s ok with functionally dead sex.

I agree. That relationship was dead when she wrote that in 2015. There are a lot of reasons why it could have been dead.

Odds are that this was just a mediocre woman with an AFC boyfriend. In those cases, time is the key variable. They had probably had a multiyear relationship and the passion was gone.

Extended relationships often kill desire. There are ways to prolong the passionate parts of relationships. Staying in good physical shape is one of the things that will help the cause of extending the good phase of a relationships. Having good sexual technique and giving her orgasms helps. Not living together keeps things interesting. Not having kids will usually help. By doing these things, a guy can push back the boredom phase.

A beta/AFC/typical guy will not often have a long period of time where he's an exciting guy. The good looking guy who isn't moving in with her, having kids with her, and slamming her vag good will keep her interested longer, but even that may have an expiration date.

The beta bucks dynamic can affect a woman in her 30s too. Women who are childless when they hit their 30s and want to have a family might settle for a more boring and more stable guy who wants to commit to her when she can't get an elite looking guy to play house with her. She's resentful that she had to play house with a more ordinary guy. That isn't good for desire.

 

[Ricky]

Been there. I can read between those lines. I totally get all that entails. I cannot evaluate it for you. I do not envy your mental state right now. This will take ten years off your life from stress alone. Decide if it’s worth it.
tell her right up front that the road she’s on is ugly and you won’t participate. There is no redemption for her and she needs to know this. There is only the dumpster at the end of that road. That’s where all the slvts go when they are older.

She isn't leaving but she is treating me like **** right now. I can make it work but i dont need her. She needs me. We have a child together which is why i'm giving it a chance. She got bored, wasn't working and got too close emotionally to a beta orbiter. She knows he isn't a good option but likes the ego stroke of him talking to her.

Not to mention they are from the same culture. I can't kick her out without legally separating which i'm not prepared to do. She is in the process of getting a job. She needs to get busy again and i need to consider my other options until she falls into line again.

 

[Ricky]

Yes.. I've kind of learned how to handle it for now. This guy will be out of the picture soon enough. He is a total simp.. trying to buy her affection. I have to control my anger because its what pushes her towards his attention.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

good point, good reminder.

I'm learning keeping my mouth shut on the process is best. Relatives benefit from your improvements, but they don't really want to know the amount of work that is the iceberg below water.
Just by improving myself, I help others. That's how I meant that when I wrote 'hopefully I can help my relatives by these gains'

You can't nor should you always help people. Help yourself.

 

[christie]

You can't nor should you always help people. Help yourself.

Yes my dear, I am. I do wonder if I overcorrected too much, too selfish(lingering catholic guilt that I could be doing more for community/family)
Thanks for your consistent personality/persona on here.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes my dear, I am. I do wonder if I overcorrected too much, too selfish(lingering catholic guilt that I could be doing more for community/family)
Thanks for your consistent personality/persona on here.

You have to understand people.

 

[christie]

You have to understand people.

Where is that book? 'How to understand people'? srs

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Where is that book? 'How to understand people'? srs

Life

 

[christie]

Life

take my own notes....write it myself

 

[Georgepithyou]

Just count your lucky stars you didn't marry her, can you imagine your wife doesn't even want to sleep with you and you have to divorce her losing half your assets