Hello all I want to figure out what this means. theres a friend I have that is always attention seeking demanding that he be heard at all times this is among my friends (his too) he keeps saying he fvcks loads of girls , I'm making loads of money, tries to dominate over us its obvious to us but giving his agressiveness we let it go we just want to have a good night out without ending up out a fight. plus he degreniates us with a louder voice to make sure the 8s or 9s heard so he gets the look in and attention and we are the losers. given this he has a girlfriend of 6 years and shares a rented house and her kids with him. in saying that he's a big guy 6ft and bigger. he expects us to follow him everywhere he says where to go etc.. im like I want to go here he's like manipulate the rest to where he wants to go. but all the while trying to fvck their chances with women or making new friends. I've known him on and off for 20 years - he feels dangerous if you go challenge him...but he says women love him like his dominant stance. now I can be dominant when I want to at the right time I know my own mind but but I detest total twankers like him. I need advice how to outwit him but he's not stupid either... my other friend says just ignore him and get on with it...but dynamics doesn't always allow for that though what you reckon guys?
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Arsehole mate
- Thread starter thelad
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Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Its kind of hard to avoid him when he organises the nights out...maybe its time to create my own with others as such and I do but its rare. I do go out a couple with out him but when he gets wind of it restarts to organise it again. He only helps himself ever...arrogant git. especially drunk.
If you tell him to tone it down that would encourage him even the more. I think he sees my game then tries to interfere with it. Time to create new paths.
If you tell him to tone it down that would encourage him even the more. I think he sees my game then tries to interfere with it. Time to create new paths.
glass half full
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This dude can only hurt you, not help. Been there...politely be busy or gone when he calls you. Change your number
Go your own way, you can't succeed with a bro bringing you down. A waste of time.
He knows this too. F it.
Focal core
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Here is your alpha wannabe.. Steer away could be npd
R
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This is easy. Time for you to branch out. You don’t want to be under the resident dominant. Go find your own tribe.
After I had left the the Marines and later the 19th Special Forces, I was done. The wirld was different. Places I’d been. Experiences I held in my mind, mostly good ones, there was no going back to old friends or acquaintances.
The more you change yourself, the more you won’t fit in or are more unwilling to be around certain people and certain women. This is a good sign.
Pull stakes and go find a new tribe.
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
Do you have fun hanging out with this group of guys? Ever? I'd say hang out with them when you enjoy it, and don't if you don't. It's that simple. You can't change that guy, you can only control yourself. Practice verbal self defense when you're out with him. I suspect that your issues stem from your own lack of confidence. You're letting the guy bother you and your weakness is showing to him. Naturally, he makes fun of you more.
Bokanovsky
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So you've been hanging out with this guy and tolerating his disrespect for 20 years...and the only reason for that is the fact that he organizes the nights out and you're too lazy to do that yourself? No wonder he treats you like sh!t. He sees you as passive and weak.
Thanks for the advice guys , a massive help. It could very well be part laziness and part confidence on my part. I see the world much more these days due to divorce and red pill lens. totally agree with most of the comments on here. He treats everyone like **** not just me.
I think its time I parted ways with this group of friends the upside. Im in regular contact with others. the downside he will try to make inroads again.
I think Ive found that he might be using me to form his group cos Im not beta minded person compared to the others I see through his ****.
Im to the point now its not necessary to keep going to that group and I can go my own way. its another stage and another move to make.
small moves. small moves.
I think its time I parted ways with this group of friends the upside. Im in regular contact with others. the downside he will try to make inroads again.
I think Ive found that he might be using me to form his group cos Im not beta minded person compared to the others I see through his ****.
Im to the point now its not necessary to keep going to that group and I can go my own way. its another stage and another move to make.
small moves. small moves.
glass half full
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Sometimes the Red Pill doesn't just apply to relationships with women, it can be with friends (and family...)
You're understanding it now. I use this thought now- when I get in a situation like that, and it is common, remember where you've beem, what you've been awakened to, and just say to yourself "No, no more" "Been there, done that, it sux.
Rock on brother
You're understanding it now. I use this thought now- when I get in a situation like that, and it is common, remember where you've beem, what you've been awakened to, and just say to yourself "No, no more" "Been there, done that, it sux.
Rock on brother
zekko
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Most of that is just the kind of stuff you see in pickup material that they advise you to do: Be an @sshole, be dominant, be loud, make yourself the center of attention, DHV, direct others, be the leader, plan the activities, tool guys that get in your way, use boyfriend destroyers if needed, be tall lol.
That may or may not get you women, but it doesn't make for a likable person. As others have said, I'd cut ties and go elsewhere.
glass half full
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That's exactly what I thought when I saw this, Alpha teachings.
I think there's a better way to do that, his buddy is just overdoing it and apparently hasn't been taken to task by someone (yet!)
OP, you're better than that. No need to be an a-hole to be Alpha. Confidant, yes. Assertive, yes.
But there's a good way and a bad way to do anything.
I never gave him a chance to go near my ex-wife as useless as she was but I agree keep that side away from men like them. Ive a nagging suspicion that they have NPD (ex-wife is that's how I know you see the signs) and that my friend keep it simple. BTW he brings nothing to the table on the nights out..never pays for the drinks expecting everyone else to be attentive to him at the same time. I think the best way is to peel off how much time you actually spend with him and the other mates. its a juggling act cos the others will question my actions as well even though they are sound.
I laugh about those fights you mention often we had to be separated from fighting usually on a cold night out as well. but its as if he won't tolerate anyone being in control of themselves. so what I'm going to do is next time I will be in a bigger group night out rather than a small one.
but maybe 2 or 3 times a year now he's likely to want to go out every 3 weeks I will turn it down and say too busy or use that time to work on my own game.Its either that or absolute disconnection.
I laugh about those fights you mention often we had to be separated from fighting usually on a cold night out as well. but its as if he won't tolerate anyone being in control of themselves. so what I'm going to do is next time I will be in a bigger group night out rather than a small one.
but maybe 2 or 3 times a year now he's likely to want to go out every 3 weeks I will turn it down and say too busy or use that time to work on my own game.Its either that or absolute disconnection.
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Its a case of self respect and sticking to it - these men who do this *******ry certainly exist to elevate themselves on the social scene then discard you later on. I like the idea of structured environment - less bulshyte more realism and get something out of it.
glass half full
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Just happened to see this again...I just realized that my cousin did the same thing when he came back from the Marines. Apparently it made a difference in him too. He was a very popular dude back home, but when he came back he moved about 30 miles north and met someone there and married, and had 6 kids. "Busy beaver?" haha.
Something must have changed him too. Guessing you both got more mature mentally, and came home and stuff didn't look the same. Kind of like taking the Red Pill, magnified. Now after reading this I understand him better.
R
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It’s like stepping into another world. In the Marines, you had a common goal. In The civilian world, nobody has a common goal. Men have never really been challenged in this world. So they haven’t been tempered into any form of mettle.
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
update: Ive pulled out of a party night with a group of us - arsehole "mate" is now trying to make me look bad(group chat online) but I don't care he can manipulate the rest if he wants but on the night he's lost a strong energy supply. feel so much better for myself. cos if I went out It would be like going to work and not wanting to.
glass half full
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There have been a couple of times in the last two or three years that I have blocked old "buddies" on all fronts, for my own personal growth and well being. One kept changing his online ID and trying to re-friend me, the other must have known better. These days, many people see that when you dodge people, there's likely a dam good reason. If someone is bothered, you know who they really are. The good ones will know better.