You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I'm sure she is. I've been delaying the meet for a couple of weeks. Not sure if I can delay it anymore. Just wonder if the boot would get in the way of getting physical. I told her I was away on vacay for the next few days to buy me some time. Not sure if I can extend that until middle Feb. when the boot comes off. She had surgery on her achilles tendon or something.
A bit bold. I've never been able to get a lady to agree to let me met her at her place prior to meeting up.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
It sounds like you are doing great with online dating. What sites or apps do you think are best?
I've done that before, via text, and it didn't work out to my advantage. She claimed all I was after was sex and said no thanks.
I have no idea. I am going to serious consider Flow's advice and find a pub close to her pad and say we can meet here or I can grab a nice bottle of wine and meet you at your place. I am just concerned about your ability to move around the city with a boot on your foot. Your choice.
Comes and goes. For the Jewish ladies, I get them on JSwipe. For the non-Jewish ladies, Bumble or Match. I am not Jewish, but these ladies do not seem to care.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That was with that particular woman. This is a new woman with different circumstances. This messsge I said is actually quite considerate; plus she did tell you where she already lives. I think she’s waiting for you to simply suggest now
I'll try. I expect a push back as I found a place a half a block away from her street. Most NYC ladies know when they invite a man over, something particular is on their mind. Unless she has a roommate. Who knows. I'll have a recorder on me regardless if we meetup at the bar or her place.
A recorder?
Yes, just in case. She just got back to me and okay'd my original meetup place. Though I'm having second thoughts. I wonder if I'll be wasting my time. After all, I do not think she believes me that I'm looking for "something real and to building something" after I just asked to meetup at her place. You know she'll have her guard up.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You could go to the place she suggested. It’s simply a first meet to see if you even like her. She does sound a bit like a princess though.
They always have their guards up. This is why we learn to finesse and be charming.
She agreed to the second place, which is a couple blocks from her apt. I'll set it up from Friday unless something better comes along. The princess vibe bothers me a bit.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.