Arranged marriage has only 5% of divorce rate while passionate has 50%

[Pumax]

https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/u46iu4
It's said that arranged marriages have only a 5% chance of divorce, while love marriages have a 50% chance.

This explains a lot about how the same people in arranged marriages are identical to those in love marriages.
But the former, for various reasons such as stigma, financial comfort, and status, choose to stay, while the latter, maintaining their self-respect and self-confidence, divorce.

So, if you have to play the game of life, as a man, I prefer the latter.
It's the only one that's true, where you'd feel like a man, where you'd earn respect, where you could truly love.
And if it's not her, it'll be next, but you could experience many satisfying relationships with someone who truly loves you.
I don't see any advantage for a man to go for the first: it means that when she disrespects you, and she will do so after you have commitments (children, finances, etc), then you will be forced to stay.

Commitment doesn't come before love.
Love comes first, and then commitment.

It would be interesting to hear @SW15's take on this.
Please, if you've been part of both situations, we'd love to hear your experience and where you find yourself in your life now. What's your perspective?

 

[plumber]

truth... arranged is probably better for men. did not try it, but have seen it much. usually the women do not leave and either its good or the man just continues with his live and she is just another member of the house although with privilege's. they are usually done with practical and sustainability in mind. usually gets full support of both families.

it trapps the woman a bit. in practice the man is not trapped.

in passion the man traps himself. and is trapped.

better life from arranged.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

It's said that arranged marriages

What's defined as arranged marriages?

Going through a matchmaker, a marriage broker?

Does it include historical data of arranged marriages between kings and nobles to consolidate power?

 

[sevbucmash]

Admins, close this threat,. It contains pedo material. Talk is about giving young girls out into marriage when they turn 12 or 13.

 

[Sega Genesis]

It would be interesting to hear @SW15's take on this.

Sadly @SW15 passed away on October 26th.

He had a seizure while swimming. He was a great contributer here and is missed.

Hearts and prayers to his family and loved ones.

As the message advising this news stated:

"You just never know. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Go out and live life."

RIP

 

[BaronOfHair]

Arranged marriages generally occur in cultures that are highly collectivist, where divorces are almost impossible to acquire. Living in a social milieu like that may sound enjoyable to some, the same way a career in espionage may seem exhilarating, to those who mistake Tom Clancy's potboilers for reality

Goes without saying, the vast majority of the human race find such things undesirable, once they've simply had a taste of them

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Probably because they "can't" divorce.

 

[plumber]

Arranged marriages generally occur in cultures that are highly collectivist, where divorces are almost impossible to acquire. Living in a social milieu like that may sound enjoyable to some, the same way a career in espionage may seem exhilarating, to those who mistake Tom Clancy's potboilers for reality

Goes without saying, the vast majority of the human race find such things undesirable, once they've simply had a taste of them

look at the larger picture. sometimes the good path is hidden with propaganda. arranged does not mean girls that are to young, it just means that its brokered instead of directly negotiated. often the contestants have much input about it. its not good to take underage girls and force them to adult men. for adult men and women its another way to filter. probably the parents are better at filter then the direct players.

a huge percentage of men find the results of marriage by choice to be a bad choice. its emotional landscape, the home turf of women.

what is best for men is not always best for women. that's the elephant in the room.

not being able to divorce is just paper. divorce can happen in substance and does even if no paper.

do we really think we are smarter then our elders. most teens think so until they also get older.

 

[BaronOfHair]

do we really think we are smarter then our elders....

The occasional Charles Kettering or Rumi aside, most of our ancestors WERE f-c-ing morons, and so are most of us living today

From The 9/11-today, the virulent notion that individual liberty is the intellectual and moral equivalent of urethral cancer, while GREATER legal and social regulation of our daily lives = An advanced way of existing has been running more rampant than dire wolf strung out on meth

And we're WORSE of for it

 

[Pumax]

@Sega Genesis That is a very bad news. RIP Man!

 

[eli77]

I was talking about this the other day with a couple from india the only people who seem to hate these types of marriages are Western women go figure!

 

[Serenity]

Admins, close this threat,. It contains pedo material. Talk is about giving young girls out into marriage when they turn 12 or 13.

I see no mention of anything underage in this thread, arranged marriage can very well happen at an adult age and it's a valid topic for discussion. I will nuke this thread if it goes in the direction of discussing anything underage though, I know that's a thing, but we need not go there.

Now, to add my thoughts to this statistic. Arranged marriage is more common in cultures with a lot of social pressures and shame.

Unlike probably quite a lot of guys on this forum I don't see the divorce rate in the free world as problematic. The divorce rate would probably be way higher for arranged marriages if they had the freedom and didn't face crippling social consequences. Staying in an unhappy arranged marriage is literally to please everyone else except themselves. What a fvcking cruel thing to do to someone "you stay with this person or the entire fvcking family will disown you, I don't care if you hate it!!".

Imagine being arranged to be with the bitchiest cvnt you can imagine, let's for the sake of the argument also say she's butt ugly. If you walk away you lose pretty much everything that matters in your life, how do you like it?

Please note that I'm not directing anything at anyone in particular, the question is rhetorical to express how stupid I think arranged marriage is.

 

[Pumax]

Imagine being arranged

In that case they would say "We did it for the children" or to the children "We did it for you".
Can you read their unhappiness and pain behind these words?

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Doesn't everyone know that correlation does not imply causation? Cmon now, easy to jump to conclusions here. And I say this as someone who believes arranged marriages have their place in society.

Could easily be explained by a number of things, for instance, arranged marriages are often done out of necessity and the couple has extreme pressure from both families to stay together.

Loads of people love to bring up how divorce rates used to be much lower too, but that says nothing about the nature of the relationship between the man and women or the environment in which the kids were raised. I mean, look at the silent generation, they had very low divorce rates, yet it was basically the norm to terrorize, dehumanize, and beat their children. Does that mean it was better that the parents stayed together?

Resentment, toxicitity, and insidiously pathological behavior in a household is often completely invisible to those outside of the it. I suspect a lot of families or ordinary couples who appear "normal" are ****ed up behind closed doors, especially in arranged marriages.

 

[BaronOfHair]

In that case they would say "We did it for the children" or to the children "We did it for you".
Can you read their unhappiness and pain behind these words?

Similar to the fella doing a stretch at Pelican Bay for multiple armed robberies, who explains away his lifestyle choices via tales of childhood trauma, rather than admitting his TRUE motivations outright:

"Outlaw living APPEARS much easier than acquiring cash via honest labor, and also FEELS more thrilling whilst I'm doing it, ergo, that's what I do!!!"

 

[eli77]

In all my years working hospitality I have yet to meet an arranged couple from India who said they regret ever being in arranged marriage again this is India I can't vouch for other countries who citizen practice arranged marriages definitely makes more sense simps on tv shows like 90 Day fiance or whatever the hell that shows called!

 

[Serenity]

In that case they would say "We did it for the children" or to the children "We did it for you".
Can you read their unhappiness and pain behind these words?

Yeah, what they did for the children was teach them suffering and resentment.

 

[Gamisch]

You know what's funny? White people ( westernised people) hate Muslims with a passion.

But simultaneously the are completely unaware that they basically share most of the "principles " with Islam -like cultures.

The manosphere has this believe that a "real man " is right wing. Basically EVERY content creator apparently is a Trump supporter.( bashing "blue haired liberal women and that bs) . Even here I've had multiple arguments with members who TRULY believed Donald would fix the world. And no, they won't come out and say "oopsie, me was wrong".( not having the ability to admit fault: female trait!!!). The modern man would LOVE to have a muslim- esque system. Think about it..

Sharia law won't say y'all. An arranged marriage first of all has a better change of success because:
- it's 50% of the time cousins marriage. So the entire family can and WILL pressure the woman as long as they can. Some countries you can beat up or kill the woman for minor reasons.
- there's often leverage on the male side such as financial leverage.
-and ofcourse religion plays a role.
-finally there can be legacy incentives.

I'd ask OP: how many of that 50% are HAPPY marriages?

 

[Serenity]

Living a bit dangerously there @Gamisch? Bringing up both religion and political views in just a single post.

The ending question is a valid one though. Being in a marriage under duress hardly qualifies as a successful marriage.

If the only critera for success is that the marriage doesn't end, then what even is the point? I would probably have run my life into the ground before marrying under those conditions. Maybe it's harsh, but I think I'd genuinely wouldn't want to live at all than to live a lie, if there was no other choice of course.

 

[Travel memoir21]

As for arranged marriage, I get what you’re saying, it has a lot of benefits esoterically if that couple is from a specific faith. A good example would be Cat Stevens or Yusuf Islam, still married to his wife all these years.