"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Arms lagging behind on Rippetoe's

Flabbergasped?

Master Don Juan
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Yes, I practice with them 3-4 times a week (I cut back from 5-6 so I could lift, ironically). Most of our best dancers are pretty jacked (not huge, but good upperbody musculature). I never asked them how they got to it.

Before lifting, all my strength gains (especially in the arms) came from practice. For example, the more handstands you do (and I did a lot last year), the bigger your shoulders and stuff get. It's painstakingly slow though, it took me like 6 months to go from my strength last year (I benched like 115) to when I started lifting 3 months ago (benching 135), whereas through lifting I PR'd at 175.

In that aspect, Throttle, I don't think breakdancing is taxing enough in a strength sense. It requires killer flexibility and balance, but you can't get strong that fast by just dancing.

For example, people do planches to build upper body strength. I can hold a planche for maybe a split second. I would need to build that up to like 5 seconds in extremely tiny increments, it would take about a year.

That's a little more background to explain my position and goals.

Throttle, is there a lifting program you recommend that targets those three areas?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Throttle

Master Don Juan
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Flabbergasped? said:
Yes, I practice with them 3-4 times a week (I cut back from 5-6 so I could lift, ironically). Most of our best dancers are pretty jacked (not huge, but good upperbody musculature). I never asked them how they got to it.
then ask them. they know better than any of us here.

Throttle, is there a lifting program you recommend that targets those three areas?
i think option B on the Where to Start thread is probably more appropriate for you than Rippetoe:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=125444

which will have you squat once a week rather than thrice. also, this goes for everyone, but esp. when you're looking to gain strength rather than size, make sure you warm up properly: http://www.ironaddicts.com/Warm-ups.html
 

Flabbergasped?

Master Don Juan
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I asked my breaker friends how they got their buffness, and all of them said they just danced regularly. Each of them, however, has been dancing for five years or over. I'm only 18 months in.

Our most senior crew member, who's 7 years into it, said the most important muscles are abs, back, and shoulders (good call, Throttle). I think any program that focuses on those would be good.

I've decided I'll switch to program B on the Where to Start page. It seems to involve a more complete upperbody workout.

Where it is labelled "tricep exercise" and "forearm exercise", are there any particular exercises you would recommend?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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