"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Arms lagging behind on Rippetoe's

Flabbergasped?

Master Don Juan
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Yes, I practice with them 3-4 times a week (I cut back from 5-6 so I could lift, ironically). Most of our best dancers are pretty jacked (not huge, but good upperbody musculature). I never asked them how they got to it.

Before lifting, all my strength gains (especially in the arms) came from practice. For example, the more handstands you do (and I did a lot last year), the bigger your shoulders and stuff get. It's painstakingly slow though, it took me like 6 months to go from my strength last year (I benched like 115) to when I started lifting 3 months ago (benching 135), whereas through lifting I PR'd at 175.

In that aspect, Throttle, I don't think breakdancing is taxing enough in a strength sense. It requires killer flexibility and balance, but you can't get strong that fast by just dancing.

For example, people do planches to build upper body strength. I can hold a planche for maybe a split second. I would need to build that up to like 5 seconds in extremely tiny increments, it would take about a year.

That's a little more background to explain my position and goals.

Throttle, is there a lifting program you recommend that targets those three areas?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Throttle

Master Don Juan
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Flabbergasped? said:
Yes, I practice with them 3-4 times a week (I cut back from 5-6 so I could lift, ironically). Most of our best dancers are pretty jacked (not huge, but good upperbody musculature). I never asked them how they got to it.
then ask them. they know better than any of us here.

Throttle, is there a lifting program you recommend that targets those three areas?
i think option B on the Where to Start thread is probably more appropriate for you than Rippetoe:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=125444

which will have you squat once a week rather than thrice. also, this goes for everyone, but esp. when you're looking to gain strength rather than size, make sure you warm up properly: http://www.ironaddicts.com/Warm-ups.html
 

Flabbergasped?

Master Don Juan
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I asked my breaker friends how they got their buffness, and all of them said they just danced regularly. Each of them, however, has been dancing for five years or over. I'm only 18 months in.

Our most senior crew member, who's 7 years into it, said the most important muscles are abs, back, and shoulders (good call, Throttle). I think any program that focuses on those would be good.

I've decided I'll switch to program B on the Where to Start page. It seems to involve a more complete upperbody workout.

Where it is labelled "tricep exercise" and "forearm exercise", are there any particular exercises you would recommend?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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