"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Arms lagging behind on Rippetoe's

Flabbergasped?

Master Don Juan
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Yes, I practice with them 3-4 times a week (I cut back from 5-6 so I could lift, ironically). Most of our best dancers are pretty jacked (not huge, but good upperbody musculature). I never asked them how they got to it.

Before lifting, all my strength gains (especially in the arms) came from practice. For example, the more handstands you do (and I did a lot last year), the bigger your shoulders and stuff get. It's painstakingly slow though, it took me like 6 months to go from my strength last year (I benched like 115) to when I started lifting 3 months ago (benching 135), whereas through lifting I PR'd at 175.

In that aspect, Throttle, I don't think breakdancing is taxing enough in a strength sense. It requires killer flexibility and balance, but you can't get strong that fast by just dancing.

For example, people do planches to build upper body strength. I can hold a planche for maybe a split second. I would need to build that up to like 5 seconds in extremely tiny increments, it would take about a year.

That's a little more background to explain my position and goals.

Throttle, is there a lifting program you recommend that targets those three areas?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Throttle

Master Don Juan
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Flabbergasped? said:
Yes, I practice with them 3-4 times a week (I cut back from 5-6 so I could lift, ironically). Most of our best dancers are pretty jacked (not huge, but good upperbody musculature). I never asked them how they got to it.
then ask them. they know better than any of us here.

Throttle, is there a lifting program you recommend that targets those three areas?
i think option B on the Where to Start thread is probably more appropriate for you than Rippetoe:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=125444

which will have you squat once a week rather than thrice. also, this goes for everyone, but esp. when you're looking to gain strength rather than size, make sure you warm up properly: http://www.ironaddicts.com/Warm-ups.html
 

Flabbergasped?

Master Don Juan
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I asked my breaker friends how they got their buffness, and all of them said they just danced regularly. Each of them, however, has been dancing for five years or over. I'm only 18 months in.

Our most senior crew member, who's 7 years into it, said the most important muscles are abs, back, and shoulders (good call, Throttle). I think any program that focuses on those would be good.

I've decided I'll switch to program B on the Where to Start page. It seems to involve a more complete upperbody workout.

Where it is labelled "tricep exercise" and "forearm exercise", are there any particular exercises you would recommend?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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