Craig Reeves
Master Don Juan
OK....
This is probably going to be my most controversial thread.
I see a lot of people here every day. I've noticed that there seems to be a term that a lot of people use to define a person who may not know the art of women and dating. This term is called an AFC (Average Frusterated Chump).
I use this term myself now because it is considered the norm. But has anyone ever sat down and asked themselves...."could I be an AFC and not even know it?"
Now most guys here will tell you that an AFC is somebody who is cluless in the world of women and dating, and who looks to women for approval or try to impress her. Most guys here will also tell you that an AFC is somebody who has a low self esteem, and is most of all, VERY INSECURE.
Now that you know what an AFC is, now it is time to apply this to yourself. However, you cannot see if you are an AFC or not if you do not look at your actions ALL the time, not just around women.....and this is the point that I'm trying to bring up.
Now like I've said, I see many people here posting things everyday, and I'm sorry to say that I've noticed some kind of pattern. It seems that a lot of people on this site look at women and dating as if it were some kind of puzzle to figure out depending on the woman. Most guys will go through some huge, complicated game plan to IMPRESS HER. Now I know this isn't making sense right now, but stay with me here....
It seems to me that a lot of guys here look at getting an attractive woman as if it were some magic formula they needed to create. They look at the process of getting the girl as if you needed 2 parts this, and 2 parts that.....no matter how YOU felt, or the situation, you had to follow the formula to prove to her that you were different from all those other "AFC's"
For example, a lot of guys here teach that in order to get a beautiful woman attracted to you, you need to do things that "put her in her place". Things such as "neg-hits" and "ignoring her", etc. are used to do this.
Here's a question.........Why are you using these techniques?
Are you using these techniques because some guy told you that this would make her more attracted to you? C'mon now....what does that sound like? That's basically going out of your way to IMPRESS HER. If you are using "neg-hits" and "blow-offs" to make her feel as if you're not interested in her because of her beauty or status or whatever, you want her to be IMPRESSED. Otherwise....you wouldn't be doing it! You want her to admire you by your seeing PAST her beauty or status......thus you're seeking her approval and you don't even know you're doing it!
Am I making sense?
When you first meet an HB9-10, do you honestly feel that most of them give you any reason whatsoever in the very beginning to believe that they are stuck-up attention *****s, besides their looks?
Probably not. You just ASSUME that they are because of their beauty or status. Now what does THAT sound like? INSECURITY in it's ugliest form.
Think about it......why on earth would you assume such a thing when there isn't any real proof that ALL exceptional looking women are stuck up attention *****s? Maybe it's because you feel these types of women have a REASON to be!? Maybe in some form you feel that a HB10 has a VALID REASON to think that she is better than you or out of your league, so you assume that she DOES!?
Now I'm going to get REALLY profound here, so read carefully....
Here's an analogy. There's three people that live in an apartment as roomates: Bill, Stacey, and Brian. One day, Bill steals 50 bucks out of Stacey's purse. When Stacey gets home from work, she finds 50 bucks stolen from her purse. She approaches Brian and asks him if he knew anything about it, and easily says "no". She then asks Bill about it, and he immediatly blurts out, "I didn't steal your money!". Bill immediatly feels like he's being accused because his MIND is accusing him.....not her. He's just confusing HER with his own MIND.
Now apply this to women.....when a "DJ" first meets a woman, he sub-consciously believes that this woman is out of his league...So when he finally meets the woman, he will assume that she thinks she's too good for him (kinda like the Bill feeling as if Stacey is accusing him), even if she is giving him no proof of her thinking this way. He will just FEEL like she sees him as lower status because his own MIND is TELLING him that he is.
I think you see where I'm going....
Whether you know it or not....you could possibly feel as if she is out of your league because YOU feel as if she is. So you feel as if she SHOULD feel that she is out of your league - therefore, you feel as if you have to BRING HER DOWN into YOUR league, so that you can handle her and she can be more manegable.
It couldn't possibly be because you've dated a ton of beautiful women and they ALL turned out to be snobby attention *****s, because you would not still be trying to hook up with them if that was the case.
A lot of guys here act as if they have to treat an HB9-10 DIFFERENTLY than they would treat any other woman. And WHY? WHY do so many guys here act as if beautiful women are somehow a different species from any other women? The reason tends to stem from their own HEADS than from the women themselves.
A lot of guys here act as if communication with a beautiful woman requires some sort of "tools" to make her attracted to them. And whether they feel right about using them or not; in order to win her heart they feel that they have to use them simply because of her LOOKS. These tools such as "neg-hits" and such are basically used to show her that they are "high status" and not intimidated by her looks. Here's MY theory......if you're REALLY not intimidated by her, then you wouldn't be trying to SHOW her that you aren't....
And THAT is what ends my big old long rant. To sum it up, a lot of you guys on this site might be guilty of this. A lot of you may just be trying to put on this facade that you're some kind of "tough guy" for the exact same reason that an "AFC" would buy her flowers.......maybe you're BOTH actually AFC's?
Keep in mind that I'm not accusing anyone of being AFC's, but it really is something that every DJ needs to think about.
This is probably going to be my most controversial thread.
I see a lot of people here every day. I've noticed that there seems to be a term that a lot of people use to define a person who may not know the art of women and dating. This term is called an AFC (Average Frusterated Chump).
I use this term myself now because it is considered the norm. But has anyone ever sat down and asked themselves...."could I be an AFC and not even know it?"
Now most guys here will tell you that an AFC is somebody who is cluless in the world of women and dating, and who looks to women for approval or try to impress her. Most guys here will also tell you that an AFC is somebody who has a low self esteem, and is most of all, VERY INSECURE.
Now that you know what an AFC is, now it is time to apply this to yourself. However, you cannot see if you are an AFC or not if you do not look at your actions ALL the time, not just around women.....and this is the point that I'm trying to bring up.
Now like I've said, I see many people here posting things everyday, and I'm sorry to say that I've noticed some kind of pattern. It seems that a lot of people on this site look at women and dating as if it were some kind of puzzle to figure out depending on the woman. Most guys will go through some huge, complicated game plan to IMPRESS HER. Now I know this isn't making sense right now, but stay with me here....
It seems to me that a lot of guys here look at getting an attractive woman as if it were some magic formula they needed to create. They look at the process of getting the girl as if you needed 2 parts this, and 2 parts that.....no matter how YOU felt, or the situation, you had to follow the formula to prove to her that you were different from all those other "AFC's"
For example, a lot of guys here teach that in order to get a beautiful woman attracted to you, you need to do things that "put her in her place". Things such as "neg-hits" and "ignoring her", etc. are used to do this.
Here's a question.........Why are you using these techniques?
Are you using these techniques because some guy told you that this would make her more attracted to you? C'mon now....what does that sound like? That's basically going out of your way to IMPRESS HER. If you are using "neg-hits" and "blow-offs" to make her feel as if you're not interested in her because of her beauty or status or whatever, you want her to be IMPRESSED. Otherwise....you wouldn't be doing it! You want her to admire you by your seeing PAST her beauty or status......thus you're seeking her approval and you don't even know you're doing it!
Am I making sense?
When you first meet an HB9-10, do you honestly feel that most of them give you any reason whatsoever in the very beginning to believe that they are stuck-up attention *****s, besides their looks?
Probably not. You just ASSUME that they are because of their beauty or status. Now what does THAT sound like? INSECURITY in it's ugliest form.
Think about it......why on earth would you assume such a thing when there isn't any real proof that ALL exceptional looking women are stuck up attention *****s? Maybe it's because you feel these types of women have a REASON to be!? Maybe in some form you feel that a HB10 has a VALID REASON to think that she is better than you or out of your league, so you assume that she DOES!?
Now I'm going to get REALLY profound here, so read carefully....
Here's an analogy. There's three people that live in an apartment as roomates: Bill, Stacey, and Brian. One day, Bill steals 50 bucks out of Stacey's purse. When Stacey gets home from work, she finds 50 bucks stolen from her purse. She approaches Brian and asks him if he knew anything about it, and easily says "no". She then asks Bill about it, and he immediatly blurts out, "I didn't steal your money!". Bill immediatly feels like he's being accused because his MIND is accusing him.....not her. He's just confusing HER with his own MIND.
Now apply this to women.....when a "DJ" first meets a woman, he sub-consciously believes that this woman is out of his league...So when he finally meets the woman, he will assume that she thinks she's too good for him (kinda like the Bill feeling as if Stacey is accusing him), even if she is giving him no proof of her thinking this way. He will just FEEL like she sees him as lower status because his own MIND is TELLING him that he is.
I think you see where I'm going....
Whether you know it or not....you could possibly feel as if she is out of your league because YOU feel as if she is. So you feel as if she SHOULD feel that she is out of your league - therefore, you feel as if you have to BRING HER DOWN into YOUR league, so that you can handle her and she can be more manegable.
It couldn't possibly be because you've dated a ton of beautiful women and they ALL turned out to be snobby attention *****s, because you would not still be trying to hook up with them if that was the case.
A lot of guys here act as if they have to treat an HB9-10 DIFFERENTLY than they would treat any other woman. And WHY? WHY do so many guys here act as if beautiful women are somehow a different species from any other women? The reason tends to stem from their own HEADS than from the women themselves.
A lot of guys here act as if communication with a beautiful woman requires some sort of "tools" to make her attracted to them. And whether they feel right about using them or not; in order to win her heart they feel that they have to use them simply because of her LOOKS. These tools such as "neg-hits" and such are basically used to show her that they are "high status" and not intimidated by her looks. Here's MY theory......if you're REALLY not intimidated by her, then you wouldn't be trying to SHOW her that you aren't....
And THAT is what ends my big old long rant. To sum it up, a lot of you guys on this site might be guilty of this. A lot of you may just be trying to put on this facade that you're some kind of "tough guy" for the exact same reason that an "AFC" would buy her flowers.......maybe you're BOTH actually AFC's?
Keep in mind that I'm not accusing anyone of being AFC's, but it really is something that every DJ needs to think about.