Are we really that scary?

[ShortyBrown]

I am very open with my dating and mating exploits, not like gory details explicit, but enough for one to join the dots. And I have no problem talking about it to anyone who asks, male or female.
But I have noticed a double standard. Men can go into details, but a woman who talks talks about how, ahem, "things just happened from there", suddenly becomes undateable. She gets a free flight to Nextville, where the guy is freely able to talk about how he had her begging for it during the course of a discussion and it's ok.
So I guess I want a general consensus and I mean this in the context of a discussion between mixed company:
What do you think of women who are open about their sexual adventures(sans gory details)

 

[Dimebag_Darrell]

In my g*damn opinion, if the girl is open about her sexuality with me(not all slutty), then it makes the f*cking ride A HELL of a lot more laid back and sh*t(dating).

 

[seloifter]

I find that most guys have very fragile egos: especially when it comes to sexuality. More specifically, when it comes to sexual experiences of the person they are involved with.
Guys don't like girls to be "experienced" (don't ask me why, in my opinion the more experience and more relaxed you are about it, the better the sex and relationship is)..... and the LAST thing they want to hear is a "blow by blow" (so to speak) of your sexual experiences.
Let them have this godly image of you as this sweet virgin whose worst experience with males is that "things just happened from there."
At least early on in the relationship..... later on, if you've tested the waters, you can see about crossing that river..... but I wouldn't suggest it with most guys. They may be shallow, but that river is not....

 

[ShortyBrown]

Hmmmm, I thought perhaps it was a cultural thing....but I've noticed guys just shut up shop like when they find that though they know full well that I'm not a s l u t(I promise you cal tell just by looking at me), but I can keep up the conversation with the sexual side of things, it scares the s h i t out of them.

 

[ShortTimer]

Well the few women I personally know who are very open about their sexuality in this way tend have two characteristics:

1.) They are very ME centered (but what woman isn't really, they just seem even more so)

and

2.) They come off as very demanding about sex. As in if you do the slightest thing wrong you're out the door. I can't imagine dating one because they come off as very demanding and exacting. I imagine having sex with her would be similar to life as slaves living like the very whips of my masters were behind me.

Maybe some chicks are open about their sexuality and laid back as to what they want but I've never met one.

 

[ShortyBrown]

Originally posted by ShortTimer
Well the few women I personally know who are very open about their sexuality in this way tend have two characteristics:

1.) They are very ME centered (but what woman isn't really, they just seem even more so)

and

2.) They come off as very demanding about sex. As in if you do the slightest thing wrong you're out the door. I can't imagine dating one because they come off as very demanding and exacting. I imagine having sex with her would be similar to life as slaves living like the very whips of my masters were behind me.

Maybe some chicks are open about their sexuality and laid back as to what they want but I've never met one.

You pessimist!!!! and no 2 depends on what type of mood you catch me in. So there.

 

[Chaos-Knight]

I agree with seloifter
about experience,we want girls with less experience...

Some sex talk from girls is ok,like discibing how they like it,
but if they start mentioning quantity-how many ect,
that scares guys abit.

Some guys are indifferent about it,as long as they don't
have an std then who cares how many~

Shorty = your poll needed more choices like " neutral"
or "alittle bit is ok"

And lastly how do I know if YOU are scary
when I havent even seen you in real life?

 

[NMMWCR]

I'm very open with people and prefer to be treated the same. The only caveat is I need the girl to understand that just because I'll tell total strangers intimate details about myself that sometimes things are still private. If I decide to not go there, don't push because I have good reasons for breaking character and clamming up.

 

[ShortyBrown]

I never mention quantity with ANYONE. Thats so crass. Maybe it really is just me. I look like the type who sits in her room a lot reading and thinks that a threesome is something on offer at the local ice cream parlour. Then I get talkin' and you can see their brains ticking over. It's actually quite funny, untill I get the s h i t s because a fella nexted me because I know as much about sex as he does and I'm not a s l u t and they don't like women who boggle their minds.

And lastly how do I know if YOU are scary

Canadian men love me. It's just a thing.

 

[SamePendo]

Im not that sexual, I dont talk about sex just like that. I expect her to be the same. Its not a matter of lack of self esteem of her being experienced or not.

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

I think it's more of a time-and-place thing. There's a time & place to talk about sex (ex. Don Juan Discussion Forum ) and a time not to (ex. over the family dinner table). You have to know based on who you are talking with, whether it's the "appropriate" time & place...

One of my guy friends once cleared a whole table at a bar due to his "inappropriate public conversation topics"... myself, I wasn't offended at all and I was one of two people left talking about anal sex and threesomes. But that's because of how close a friend I am with that guy. There are people (male/female) who I wouldn't talk like that EVER, simply because I know they would be squeamish/offended/embarrassed.

 

[jbbrain]

being in a relationshp with a girl..I honestly could care less about her sexual past..so I rather not know.

Curiosity has gotten the best of me in the past however, and I always regretted it, so until I know that I can accept 110% that the girls I will have been with have not only had sex long before I came along, but MAY HAVE ACTUALLY ENJOYED IT p ) I just rather not know anything.

And its not a double standard, I dont talk about previous ex experiences with my lady as well, because I know Ive done shyt that, in her ears, would only scare her half to death.

If im with friends, ill be the nastiest muthafukka in the conversation, no doubt.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

they think I am

No, they're not scary.
Only problem is, I don't attract that type of woman. Perhaps it's my clean-cut, shaven, anti-thug white boy appearance.
I would LOVE to have a sexually experienced HB tutor me in the fine arts.

 

[Ice Cold]

I don't know WTH you're talking about Shorty.

Me and ALL of my buddies clean up the language around the ladies. Had a guy started talking about his sexual stuff, he wouldn't stand any higher with the girls.

If a girl starts talking about it, it just demonstates her lack of manners.

 

[Big Pappy]

Unfortunately, it all depends.

I have two girls that I screw from time to time. Both are pretty vocal about what they want, how they want it. One leaves the talk in the bedroom, the other will tell anyone willing to listen.

Does talking about sex make you a slut? No. Slutty? perhaps.
It's kind of like if you talk about stealing from the rich or volunteering your time for the underpriveleged.

Some people will have a preconceived notion about a girl's story of promiscuity, regardless of how many details we are spared. It is 2003, but we still see a woman's promiscuity as poor judgement and the man's as studly.

If I tell you I spent four hours teaching 4th graders how to play chess every Monday afternoon, you might think some certain way about that me and my behavior.

The same would go for you.

Myself, I wouldn't think you were slutty, just horny. I confess, I would rather not hear about your stories unless I was in them.

 

[duke007]

The following is my first real-life experience of this type of discussion:

I was a naive 14yo, doing work experience at an Accounting firm. One of the female workers was a classy, sexy-looking half Asian in her mid twenties (which I love by the way, i felt all tingly when i saw her ).

One day I was sitting in the lunch room reading the paper and a few others (including HBAsian) were sitting around laughing about something, but I wasn't listening. Then I heard:

HBAsian: "If a guy can't give multiple orgasms, he's useless"

And laughed. My eyes widened.

This screwed me up big I think.
Beforehand I am only imagining how much growing and ageing I have to do before I even get a chance to sleep with someone like her.

But now I feel terribly ill-equipped.

"How the hell can I give multiple orgasms? I didn't even know women had multiple orgasms! I still get turned on by the bra page in Kmart catalogues!! My d1ck is still growing! Is my purpose in life just to be a disposable sex toy?? (remember at 14 my primary ambition was to have sex! ). Women are scary.... "

It was very intimidating. And I think it instilled in me that women have high standards and I am out of their league.

This is true in a way (all that standards BS) but every 14 yo should be filled with sexual bravado, not made to feel the way I felt.

So Shorty and Sexy_malibu don't go boasting about your exploits in the presence of teenagers and dangerously inexperienced or low self-esteem guys

 

[bp1974]

Maybe it really is just me. I look like the type who sits in her room a lot reading and thinks that a threesome is something on offer at the local ice cream parlour. Then I get talkin' and you can see their brains ticking over.

This one time, at bandcamp.. j/k

If she's just a friend, then it's fun to talk about sex in all it's details.

If it's a woman that I want to f*ck, then it's a turn on to talk about sex with her - the kinds of things we both enjoy etc. But it would be a REAL TURN OFF to hear about the guys she's been with. I want to know that at that moment her sexual thoughts are about me, not them.

 

[drZaius09]

This kind of behavior is not very ladylike. Is that something you are capable of understanding? I think we all realize what wh0res you are without hearing you shout it to the world. Try to get that through your thick skull for once.

 

[drixsa]

hmmm where do i start?

i dont have any real interest in talking to a woman(that i am interested in) about who i have and havent been with. i dont think it accomplishes anything useful.

Nor, do i want to hear about who she has or hasnt been with.

for some reason, i think b/c i neglect to talk about it, the girl will generally try to bring it up with me and i just say "no comment"

shorty B-whats the difference between having sex with many men, and being a slut In your opinion?

in mine, there is a pretty fine line between the two.

if i know that a girl gets around a lot chances are that i am not going to go after her. i think in the back of my mind i feel that girls that hook up a lot (or too much if there is such a thing) probably have somethin a little screwed up in their head or possibly have some sort of STD.

but to be fair i do think the same way of men. espically since i visited some universities and saw that a "male-slut" actually did exist.

i also feel that i hold fair to my own judgements and i dont randomly hook up very often and even the girl that are my f-buddies ususally have been well qualified.

shorty, what you are complaining about in your original thread is a legit argument but it is just the way that society is.

i think there is a certain balance, if a girl is talking about her boyfriend or just a coule guys it isnt so bad but when you talk to her in a 10 minute time span and you have found out about the 8 guys she has hooked up with in the last month i find it hard not to be turned off.

i have also found that people that always talk about sex and are proud of their "conquests" are quite insecure people who are trying to prove themselves to you to come off as really "cool."

ha thats it! this is more of what turns me off than anything else.

another example how i write and teach myself something

ok back on track

i think that this is part of the reason why i like this site so, it gives me a chance to talk about certain things that i just do not discuss with people in real life.

understand that i am not afraid or feel uncomfortable talking about these things and i do have one or two people that i discuss this sort of sexual manner with, but i just do not like people my personal stuff (e.g. who i am with, what i am doing etc etc)

it is nice to have a place that is dedicated to this sort of thing.

 

[myfriendblu]

Problem is shorty, is that your not looking at both sides of the coin. You say that its a double standard? Where I might ask. Every time I have seen a guy openly talk about his sexual conquests around new girls he has just met, he gets the same ticket to nextville as well. Girls look at him like a pig and a jerk. I dunno when and where it became ok to openly talk into detail about sexual stuff around members of the oppisite sex that you barely know.