"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Are these the reasons why dating was so much better for men in the '50s?

MatureDJ

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I was lurking at the Incel site - yes, I understand that such folks are considered below the folks here - and there was a good post about this:

https://incels.me/threads/ultimate-mega-proof-how-hypergamy-was-none-in-existent-in-the-1950s.45295/

There are NUMEROUS reasons why hypergamy was low/non-existent back then, and why inceldom was far less of a problem than now:
  • Mass die off of men in a world war, increased competition between women to find ANY man still alive
  • Shaming of sex before marriage, strictly enforced societal monogamy
  • No social media, more realistic expectations among women
  • Women not a significant part of the workforce, and REQUIRE a man in order to start a family
In 2018, all of these points are at a complete opposite:
  • Male birth rate is 1.05 boys to 1 girls. Men outnumber women significantly until it evens out in later life due to earlier male mortality / accidental deaths etc. During prime reproductive years, there are more men than women.
  • Sex before marriage not just not shamed, but actively celebrated and recommended. Women told to "date around" before settling down. Dating around means dating the top 10 or 20% of men and ignoring the rest, until they settle in their 30s.
  • Social media. This has been such a devastating WRECKING BALL I don't even need to explain. But every woman now has access to thousands of tens of thousands of men nearby with almost no effort required.
  • Women all work now and don't require men for their financial resources. The main mechanism by which men could "improve" their value to women has been more or less made obsolete.
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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zekko

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Those are all good points, plus the approval of the birth control pill in 1960 brought in a lot of changes.
I didn't know there was an incel site though, you learn something every day.
 
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