Are These **** Tests or Not?

[va2000]

1) she has a legitimate question, writes a long message about something about the computer, paperwork, errands, what have you, and I miss one or more details in her question which alters the useful answer. When I answer partially or incorrectly, she nearly invariably says "you never listen". She had a legitimate need for a detailed answer, and reverted to a male, overt question form, and I literally goofed when reading through it. Is it still a **** test or not at all?

2) she shows me something she's doing whether it's her gym routine (pic of notebook), diet record, project she's working on, anything, and I will say a few things like "good eye, nice work, proud of you, etc." but usually throw in a "you might want to consider more protein" or "it seems green would have been a better color in that context". I don't criticize for its own sake, but when I see a glaring need for a suggestion I do it in a courteous manner (as I would absolutely always do if it were a man friend or member of family, etc.) Invariably she says "I didn't ask for advice or input". It is true, i.e. she usually doesn't need the information I share, but she is one who rarely asks for feedback, period, just affirmation. Is it 100% a **** test?

 

[lizardking82]

She did not ask for your advice? Who does this bich think she is? LOL This one won't let you guider her, my man. She is probably long gone on the "independent and strong women who don't need a man" train.

 

[va2000]

She has lived independently for most of her life, and is definitely new to submissive ideas (in relationship with me from 30 to 35 so far). She has happily fit into a submissive role in overall lifestyle, but is definitely still reactionary to authority, which I'm not sure is permanent. She's far from feminist but has latent habits for sure. I want to politely stand my ground on 2 but I don't want to pick a dumb battle and just be a jerk who won't compromise for her.

 

[devilkingx2]

Invariably she says "I didn't ask for advice or input".

then you respond "then why do you show it to me? if you don't want to hear what I think, talk to someone else"

 

[va2000]

Noted on the yellow flag... I didn't vet her like I would if were doing it again, but I'm happy where it's going after four years and her self esteem isn't a deal breaker at this point.

I agree that is one way to assert your importance... but is it black and white? Our dynamic is Daddy/babygirl, and I don't need to completely quash her "look what I made" behavior just to reinforce my level... that at least is crystal clear in plenty of other ways.