Are some women waiting to see if there's a spark?

[ThisNThat]

I was talking to a male friend of mine, in his 40s, had "dated" this woman in her 30s (single mom) and apparently he went all out for her. I'd say he's a complete beta as he mentioned he would cuddle with her while watching a movie but when he would go in for a kiss...she'd deny him.

He ended things with her of course, and this got to remind me of anther female friend where we talked about this very topic of moving to fast when it comes to intimacy. This female friend dating methods tend to have her dragging her heels for even a kiss good night. She just hugs. Men move on from her because THEY think she's not interested and she gets upset about this because she needs more time to get to know them before any of that can happen.

Your take on this? Do some women just need time or are they really not attracted and their attempt to "seeing if a spark happens over multiple dates" a bad idea?

 

[Alvafe]

i'm betting the whole till she gets to know would mean a lot of date and she not paying for any, and she don't want even to kiss, yeah tell her to keep getting cats

 

[shesabranchswinger]

The only way I see your friend finding a man with her approach is the friend route. I have had a few women in my past that were friends on and off for years then we started dating and when it's over I stayed friends with them as much as a man can be friends with a woman.

In my opinion it's a bad idea your friend approach is flawed. No man wants to take a woman out on his dime on 10 dates only to have her say sorry chump I just don't feel any sparks. It's not really the money spent that would bother me even if we went Dutch it's more the fact that she wasted my time and that's more valuable to me then some $40 dinners. So I take it as even being a little disrespectful on her part.
Most women I have slept with knew they were going to sleep with me anywhere from 1 hour to 2 weeks of knowing me.

I suggest you tell your female friend to ask men she is interested in out pay for all the dates she needs to feel comfortable with them before they have sex. Do some of the heavy lifting and planning. That might give her a different perspective on things.

 

[ThisNThat]

The only way I see your friend finding a man with her approach is the friend route. I have had a few women in my past that were friends on and off for years then we started dating and when it's over I stayed friends with them as much as a man can be friends with a woman.

In my opinion it's a bad idea your friend approach is flawed. No man wants to take a woman out on his dime on 10 dates only to have her say sorry chump I just don't feel any sparks. It's not really the money spent that would bother me even if we went Dutch it's more the fact that she wasted my time and that's more valuable to me then some $40 dinners. So I take it as even being a little disrespectful on her part.
Most women I have slept with knew they were going to sleep with me anywhere from 1 hour to 2 weeks of knowing me.

I suggest you tell your female friend to ask men she is interested in out pay for all the dates she needs to feel comfortable with them before they have sex. Do some of the heavy lifting and planning. That might give her a different perspective on things.

Believe it or not, I've known women to have MARRIED men they were never attracted to. There's a woman in my local area, never had kids, but divorced. Told me the man she married to for 10 years, she was never attracted to him from the beginning.

Since it was a small town, all their friends were marrying their HS sweethearts, so she figured she'd jump on that bandwagon, too. Now THAT'S 10 years wasted I take it? I wonder how the sex was on their honeymoon if she was never attracted?

Did sex in the beginning, for them, just involved her laying there until he finished?

 

[shesabranchswinger]

Yeah but in the grand scheme of things I'm sure she's better off with her high school sweetheart and her low interest level in him than being alone and a cat lady. So I don't see it as a waste of time.

That's something I find funny sometimes. I take most not all of the advice on this board as advice for short term relationships and hookup. Because the simple fact is interest levels wax and wane over time it's human nature. I've known guys who married women they were less attracted to as well because of other outstanding qualitys the woman had. No one ever gets exactly what they want and no one gets out alive anyone telling you different has something their trying to sell you.
From my experience after the honeymoon phase and the dust settles all relationships involve some amount of work, compromise and sacrifice from both parties involved in order to maintain it for the long haul. Every flower needs a different amount of water I like cactuses there low maintenance.