In all ways and situations I mean. Not just with dating and women. Why is it some people always seem to have something to do,and some are at home more than they should be? Maybe its partially because for me its always work then home.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Are some people just more or less natrually social than others?
- Thread starter ItsOnNow
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
LostAndConfused
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2007
- Messages
- 1,137
- Reaction score
- 11
Being social doesn't mean that you go out alot.
But yeah some people are naturally more reserved or just less social than others.
But yeah some people are naturally more reserved or just less social than others.
LostAndConfused
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2007
- Messages
- 1,137
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- 11
...wait what?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Some people are naturally more social, but if you aren't it doesn't mean you can't change.
Introverts are naturally more sensative. However you can desensatiza yourself to any situation by exposing yourself to it.
Introverts are naturally more sensative. However you can desensatiza yourself to any situation by exposing yourself to it.
Some kids were very outgoing, they participated in clubs, sports, parties, exposed to many many social situations. They are social experienced.
Kids like me, were very shy growing up, stayed home and played computer games. A lot, less social experience. But I went out a lot, just to get social. Now I have the social experience I need.
Kids like me, were very shy growing up, stayed home and played computer games. A lot, less social experience. But I went out a lot, just to get social. Now I have the social experience I need.
Jack McCrack
Senior Don Juan
I think everyone has areas they are naturally more confident in than others.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2005
- Messages
- 4,476
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- 182
Yes.
It all has to do with what personality type you are.
Extroverted is being outgoing while introverted is you mostly keep to yourself.
It all has to do with what personality type you are.
Extroverted is being outgoing while introverted is you mostly keep to yourself.
i'm naturally very unsocial but working every day only with people has given boost my confidence and social skills. i've always known that i'm funny etc but i wasn't interested form displaying it around random people. now got no problem with that.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
SparkleMotion
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2004
- Messages
- 187
- Reaction score
- 1
- Age
- 72
No.
Everyone is naturally social.
We lived in social groups for 100s of thousands of years. It's genetically built in us to have a predisposition to socialize.
The reason certain people grow up to be less social then others is due to experiences growing up. Being mocked in a group situation and not having a strong emotional safety net to fall back on, etc. People who are more social once they get into adulthood, had the experiences that reflect either being accepted easily into social groups or when rejected had a strong emotional safety net to fall back.
Basically it comes down to conditioning. Using statements like "Oh, he's just not naturally social", to excuse introverted behavior and in thus further engraving this pattern of behavior as not only acceptable in the child's head, but that it's the right behavior. Could be as simple as parent trying to emotional protect their child from "cruel children" who pick on their kid. When the opposite should be happening, the child should be taught to have strong self-confidence and reintroduced to social environments.
Growing up all there lives this way, people view it as being natural. So it's natural to avoid situations which would help you pass on your genes? Yeah, don't think so. Your body exists for the simple reason of being a vessel to pass on your genes. And you can't do that sitting at home playing Halo 3 all day, because you are just naturally introverted.
However once old enough, anyone is capable of turning themselves into a 'social person'. All it takes is recognizing what is wrong with them and then realizing only they have the power to change it.
Everyone is naturally social.
We lived in social groups for 100s of thousands of years. It's genetically built in us to have a predisposition to socialize.
The reason certain people grow up to be less social then others is due to experiences growing up. Being mocked in a group situation and not having a strong emotional safety net to fall back on, etc. People who are more social once they get into adulthood, had the experiences that reflect either being accepted easily into social groups or when rejected had a strong emotional safety net to fall back.
Basically it comes down to conditioning. Using statements like "Oh, he's just not naturally social", to excuse introverted behavior and in thus further engraving this pattern of behavior as not only acceptable in the child's head, but that it's the right behavior. Could be as simple as parent trying to emotional protect their child from "cruel children" who pick on their kid. When the opposite should be happening, the child should be taught to have strong self-confidence and reintroduced to social environments.
Growing up all there lives this way, people view it as being natural. So it's natural to avoid situations which would help you pass on your genes? Yeah, don't think so. Your body exists for the simple reason of being a vessel to pass on your genes. And you can't do that sitting at home playing Halo 3 all day, because you are just naturally introverted.
However once old enough, anyone is capable of turning themselves into a 'social person'. All it takes is recognizing what is wrong with them and then realizing only they have the power to change it.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
there will always be one person more of a social butterfly in a group or family than compared to the others.
like a party cant start until they get there, or christmas dinner cant start until they get there...
like a party cant start until they get there, or christmas dinner cant start until they get there...
Introvert and Extrovert are human perceptions and their is debate about whether traits actually exist.
The problem is when studying nature vs nurture scientists are only capable of studying family enviroments when research gives weight to the idea that what happens outside of family time (with friends etc.) has a greater influence over a person
The problem is when studying nature vs nurture scientists are only capable of studying family enviroments when research gives weight to the idea that what happens outside of family time (with friends etc.) has a greater influence over a person