are most of you getting laid on the first date itself ?

[ValleyDJing]

That's all fine and dandy...whatever...the illogical part is the guy who sticks around is getting PUNISHED for doing the right thing while you are REWARDING the ******* who uses you like a piece of meat.

And THEN you go cry on your girlfriends shoulders how you feel so used. lol

Very true.

 

[Vypros]

. then there are others, how are really decent good guys, that you take things slower with because if you gave it up too soon, they wouldn't want to date you.

That's horse**** and you know it.

You see, I'm waiting for you to come around and just say that you have no logical reasoning for doing it other than as a form of "control". You feel enpowered by the idea that the man wants sex and you are denying him until he is ready.

Not that I care why women do this, but for the sake of these forums you could at least be honest.

 

[PRMoon]

99 percent of my first dates are at bars or involve bars. Usually if a girl is trying to keep up with me in drinking (no easy task for anybody male or female) then she wants to get laid. If she doesn't keep up with me and still gets drunk then she wants to get laid. If she doesn't drink at all (and why did she agree to go with me to the bar?) and wants to go home, it's likly that i won't get laid...and that's our first and last date.

I guess some guys want to play their cards with the romatic route but sex is pretty trival for me and I'd rather have sex with a girl on the first date to see how compatable we are in bed work backwards from there. I was explaining this to one of the girls I was seeing a while ago when she asked about why i continued to date her after i got her drunk and took her home. She was pretty good in bed while intoxicated and had good mannerism afterwards. When we went out after that there was no pressure on me (or her) to get her into bed because we'd already done that so we could enjoy each other's company better.

 

[BlackJackal]

If a girl offered it, I wouldn't turn it down. But there's no way I would date a girl who gave it up that fast. That tells me she's been around the block, and I don't want a girl like that.

That is not always the case at all.

 

[BlackJackal]

That's all fine and dandy...whatever...the illogical part is the guy who sticks around is getting PUNISHED for doing the right thing while you are REWARDING the ******* who uses you like a piece of meat.

And THEN you go cry on your girlfriends shoulders how you feel so used. lol

I believe what penkitten is tryin to say is that, a woman who makes a man wait for sex is actually playing for time. She may very well want to let him hit it, but she wants somethin more. Spending time with someone long enough usually builds a bond between the two.

In a womans mind, by the time she lets him hit, he will hopefully be emotionally invested makin it less likely that he will just up and leave afterwards. A man can still cheat this process as long as he learns how to be aware of whether a woman wants him to hit, and learn how to exploit it till he does. Thus saving time, or else leave anyway and find another woman who will let him hit.

 

[Vypros]

In a womans mind, by the time she lets him hit, he will hopefully be emotionally invested makin it less likely that he will just up and leave afterwards. A man can still cheat this process as long as he learns how to be aware of whether a woman wants him to hit, and learn how to exploit it till he does. Thus saving time, or else leave anyway and find another woman who will let him hit.

Yes, but a man's mind doesn't work that way, making this whole thing pointless.

A mans' time invested in a girl is just that...time invested. Hell, a man could be successfully dating two or three women and "put the time in" with this girl, get lucky, and go away.

The time investment really isn't as big a deal to a man as it is to a woman.

So, that brings us back to "using sex as a form of control in a relationship".

It's the ONLY answer to why women do this, regardless of WHAT excuse is presented.

Unless of course you withhold sex for the same length of time for ALL the guys you date, and not just the ones you LIKE. Understand?

 

[vorbis]

Vypros, read this thread again. You have guys saying that they would not date a girl they ****ed on the first date. THAT is why you have penkitten saying she would wait till the 3rd date with someone she liked! Its actually quite logical.

The good guy is hardly getting punished. After all, if you are going to date a girl, surely you'd enjoy hanging out with her?? I've had girls wait till the 3rd and 4th dates before. Timewise, thats about 2 weeks, its hardly a killer.

 

[Vypros]

Vypros, read this thread again. You have guys saying that they would not date a girl they ****ed on the first date. THAT is why you have penkitten saying she would wait till the 3rd date with someone she liked! Its actually quite logical.

The good guy is hardly getting punished. After all, if you are going to date a girl, surely you'd enjoy hanging out with her?? I've had girls wait till the 3rd and 4th dates before. Timewise, thats about 2 weeks, its hardly a killer.

No, you're not getting it at all. You all are focusing on the guy she LIKES.

I am focusing on the guy she DOESN'T like.

The illogical part is that she'll give it up to the guy she DOESN'T like (or rather want a long term relationship with) BEFORE she'll give it up to the guy she DOES want a long term relationship with.

The inconsistency here is the fact that the GUY WHO IS USING HER is getting the sex, and the guy who is trying to give her a relationship is NOT getting the sex.

Understand?

 

[BlackJackal]

Yes, but a man's mind doesn't work that way, making this whole thing pointless.

A mans' time invested in a girl is just that...time invested. Hell, a man could be successfully dating two or three women and "put the time in" with this girl, get lucky, and go away.

The time investment really isn't as big a deal to a man as it is to a woman.

So, that brings us back to "using sex as a form of control in a relationship".

It's the ONLY answer to why women do this, regardless of WHAT excuse is presented.

Unless of course you withhold sex for the same length of time for ALL the guys you date, and not just the ones you LIKE. Understand?

I never doubted that withholding sex was a form of control. Infact, my last post makes that clear without mentioning that. I know how a mans mind works, but I also know how a womans mind works. What I said represents whats going on in a womans mind 9 times out of ten.

But I also mention that a man who knows how to exploit the fact that a woman wants him to hit it, need not worry about the process regardless. I've dealt with women that wanted more from me. I'd tell them I wasn't interested in all that, and I still managed to **** them.

 

[Vypros]

I never doubted that withholding sex was a form of control.

And that's why I've spent so much time in this thread on this point, because I want the point to be painfully clear that women DO THIS.

Why?

Because it's lending you insight into the way women THINK and how they piece together logic. Granted it doesn't give us anything conclusive, but it's another nugget of info for your "file" on "women" that you keep stored in that noggin of yours.

Knowing that women use sex as a way to control you is HUGE. Why? Because knowing this enpowers you in the sense that you can now put up a DEFENSE against it, and neutralize this power she's trying to put on you.

Remember, being a true MAN (Pook's spiel about "testorine" and "sexuality") means that YOU control your life and the people in it.

SO how do you use this information to make sure you don't get frustrated with her? Well, you TURN IT AROUND ON HER OF COURSE!

You KNOW she's going to use sex as a means to get what she wants from you, so you combat that by using sex as a means to DRIVE HER WILD!

Try it sometime. Withold sex from a woman once and watch how absolutely BISERK this makes her!

The idea is that you aren't being lead around by your "boys" here, and that you ensure that you are stopping this "game" at it's source by using your own tactic to defend against it.

 

[BlackJackal]

Of course knowing that women do this is a big advantage. I've known women do this since I was comin of age. I just never had to worry about it. When I deal with a woman I make sure that they know I dont have time for their games. I dont even have time to play games of my own. If I want to play games, thats what I got a playstation 2 for.

When I'm dealin with a woman, I'm tryin to ****. I'm not hearin all that, I want to wait crap, they can kill that noise. Which is why I dont date, cause it just seems to automatically make women use that concept. Dating feels unnatural cause both people are putting up a front.

 

[Vypros]

Of course knowing that women do this is a big advantage. I've known women do this since I was comin of age. I just never had to worry about it. When I deal with a woman I make sure that they know I dont have time for their games. I dont even have time to play games of my own. If I want to play games, thats what I got a playstation 2 for.

When I'm dealin with a woman, I'm tryin to ****. I'm not hearin all that, I want to wait crap, they can kill that noise. Which is why I dont date, cause it just seems to automatically make women use that concept. Dating feels unnatural cause both people are putting up a front.

When YOU lead the date to where you want it to go, you can effectively tear down that "wall" that everyone puts up on a date in a matter of minutes to at most an hour.

And the best way to accomplish that is to go on action dates.

 

[Fenderules]

That's all fine and dandy...whatever...the illogical part is the guy who sticks around is getting PUNISHED for doing the right thing while you are REWARDING the ******* who uses you like a piece of meat.

And THEN you go cry on your girlfriends shoulders how you feel so used. lol

not giving it up, may even drive the real men away. I could see maby on the first date why not, because in many guys minds, girls that give it up that soon, are a slut and not good LTR material.
however if a girl waits 2 long, then the guys will view her as some ***** playing games and having fun doing so.

 

[Nighthawk]

here is the fact that the GUY WHO IS USING HER is getting the sex, and the guy who is trying to give her a relationship is NOT getting the sex.

Understand?

They both 'using' each other. It's not a woman's duty to punish jerks or reward nice guys.

I have generally always got laid at the first or second opportunity. Women with high interest will sometimes say no before they say yes, to not seem a sl*t, or to keep their 'challenge frame.' I can deal with that.

 

[BlackJackal]

When YOU lead the date to where you want it to go, you can effectively tear down that "wall" that everyone puts up on a date in a matter of minutes to at most an hour.

And the best way to accomplish that is to go on action dates.

Yea, or I could just save my money, go straight to her house and **** her.

 

[penkitten]

I believe what penkitten is tryin to say is that, a woman who makes a man wait for sex is actually playing for time. She may very well want to let him hit it, but she wants somethin more. Spending time with someone long enough usually builds a bond between the two.

In a womans mind, by the time she lets him hit, he will hopefully be emotionally invested makin it less likely that he will just up and leave afterwards. A man can still cheat this process as long as he learns how to be aware of whether a woman wants him to hit, and learn how to exploit it till he does. Thus saving time, or else leave anyway and find another woman who will let him hit.

black jackal, thats exactly it. thank you for wording it better than i could.

 

[penkitten]

Yes, but a man's mind doesn't work that way, making this whole thing pointless.

doesnt matter how men think when you are trying to understand how women think.

So, that brings us back to "using sex as a form of control in a relationship".

i told you this one the first page.

Unless of course you withhold sex for the same length of time for ALL the guys you date, and not just the ones you LIKE. Understand?

we all know thats just not going to happen.

 

[penkitten]

not giving it up, may even drive the real men away. I could see maby on the first date why not, because in many guys minds, girls that give it up that soon, are a slut and not good LTR material.
however if a girl waits 2 long, then the guys will view her as some ***** playing games and having fun doing so.

exactly fender. if you dont put out, they bail. if you put out too fast, they bail. you have to learn to time things right.

how does a chick learn to time things right? by experience.

so there will be some hot guy that comes along, that a gal really goes gah gah over, and there will be something about him that lets her know, if she would like to continue to date him for a little while, then she has to put out faster. she thinks it over, and thinks "boy, hes alot of fun and im gonna just go for it." whether its over by morning or in six weeks, she threw caution to the wind. sometimes knowing that he was going to end up being an ******* in the end.

so then there will be some other guy, who is hot on a different scale. this guy has his stuff together. this guy seems like a good decent man and there will be something about him that makes her caution herself a little more. something will let her know, not to jump in too fast or she will scare him off. so she has to wait a little while before she can throw caution to the wind again.

 

[TruthHurts]

they put out

or do women still hold out for 3 to 4 dates before putting out....

Just about ever women (even ones you would never imagine) would put out the first night if the moment/situation is right... i.e. sometimes she didnt put out cause she likes you too much and wants u to respect her lol.... why you think its so easy when you go to another country, its not cause your a foreigner, its cause the girl knows her friends wont find out she is a ho, i mean a sweet girl that likes to get banged (which girl doesn?)

 

[Raikojo17]

And that's why I've spent so much time in this thread on this point, because I want the point to be painfully clear that women DO THIS.

Why?

Because it's lending you insight into the way women THINK and how they piece together logic. Granted it doesn't give us anything conclusive, but it's another nugget of info for your "file" on "women" that you keep stored in that noggin of yours.

Knowing that women use sex as a way to control you is HUGE. Why? Because knowing this enpowers you in the sense that you can now put up a DEFENSE against it, and neutralize this power she's trying to put on you.

Remember, being a true MAN (Pook's spiel about "testorine" and "sexuality") means that YOU control your life and the people in it.

SO how do you use this information to make sure you don't get frustrated with her? Well, you TURN IT AROUND ON HER OF COURSE!

You KNOW she's going to use sex as a means to get what she wants from you, so you combat that by using sex as a means to DRIVE HER WILD!

Try it sometime. Withold sex from a woman once and watch how absolutely BISERK this makes her!

The idea is that you aren't being lead around by your "boys" here, and that you ensure that you are stopping this "game" at it's source by using your own tactic to defend against it.

exactly. no matter how women try to rationalize it, they are using sex as control. by making the man they want for more wait, they are thinking that they can keep him chasing if they tease him with it. Kinda like how i can make my dog sit and come when i hold a bone out to her.