Are dating apps bad news for most guys?

EternalBachelor

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Match.com has been my staple for most of my adult life and for the most part I have been happy with the results. But over the last few years it hasn't been working so well and the quality of girls has gone down and the number of fake ads has exploded. I am London based so not sure if this jives with the experience of you guys in the US.

I suspect a big part of the problem is a lot of girls have switched over to these popular swipe based apps like Tinder and Bumble which in London have gone mainstream.

My understanding of the mechanics of this app are for a match you both have to swipe right. Seems appealing in principle. No need to waste time drafting lengthy emails to girls who probably won't get around to reading them. And girls are not even going to be aware of unsolicited swipes whereas on old-fashioned dating sites they would get inundated with unsolicited creepy emails from guys they definitely wouldnt' want to date.

But the reality seems to be something like this. Most guys treat it as just a numbers game and see the most efficient approach as swiping right on pretty much every single profile and then seeing what matches they get and winnowing them down to the ones they'd actually be interested in dating. Guys tend to be a lot more motivated and pro-active when it comes to dating and therefore probably swipe a lot more profiles. So you can bet that most girls in a major metropolitan area have been right swiped by at least a couple thousand guys (compared to the couple hundred emails they might have got on a dating site).

I really do not know the algorithm that determines in what order girls see guys in their area. I have even read a rumour it is done on popularity (i.e. the guys who get the most matches appear first in line in the searches which would of course reinforce the winner takes all nature of the apps). But because it is so easy for girls to match (because most guys swipe right) this has two terrible consequences. Firstly, they tend to be incredibly selective swiping right on perhaps only 5% of the profiles. Secondly, they aren't going to bother going through hundreds of profiles the way most guys do.

So the chances are that if you swipe right on a girl a) she is never going to see your profile b) even if she did because she can be selective she is unlikely to swipe right.

Also I suspect a lot of the profiles you swipe on are inactive and for a lot of the girls they are just on there for the ego boost and to get that ego boost they are looking to match with good looking "trophy guys" they can show off to their friends rather than guys of similar attractiveness to themselves they might be compataible with.

Wondering if any other guys are encountering these problems and if there are any work-arounds?
 

RickTheToad

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No workaround. Many do it for attention. They end a relationship, feel down, turn on their app and they have dozens if not hundreds of men swiping right on them. The ladies I've met in meetup groups or public don't seem to use OLD as much.
 

AttackFormation

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To make what could have been a long post into a short one, the key to swipe apps is to either be a male model with excellent pictures, or to not use them as your primary means of meeting women. If you're not extremely good looking and your pictures are also excellent, then the drain on your energy won't be worth the crumbs you may or may not get. That's my experience. I've met women from non-swipe OLD, not a lot but at least it has happened, but the swipe apps have been a complete dud. Even if you do match with someone, odds are you won't meet them for one reason or another. Never paid for them though.

OLD in general for males is a winner takes all game, and that's amplified even more on swipe apps.
 
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Who Dares Win

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I dropped tinder in any western european city while I still use it anytime I move east for work with decent results.

First of all the M:F ratio is so screwed that there are probably 5 men to any woman, then most of the women are there for ego or waste time, no need to mention most are no attractive....you can do the math yourself.

Also they are much more picky than the real world, in those same countries there is a 2 point different between the girls I get in real life and the ones I get on apps, no way to get a 7 in those apps unless you are a solid 8 with great pictures and unlike what the average user of this board thinks, male 8s are probably less than 15% of the male population, unless ofc they all post here.

Anytime a woman doesnt invest in a man, she considers it cheap and not worth putting any effort or giving a chance.

There has been a research on speed dating where paid events got more matches while in free ones women were much more picky.

Also your bio or tag line have almost no value, your profile is as strong as your profile picture.
 

Killakittie

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I never contact first. All my successful dates are from women who message me. Went on a first date last night with a cute latina.. Now she's coming to my house tonight. Says she's going to teach me how to make "salsa!"
 

Poonani Maker

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I'm having success this past week (females making new years resolutions??) after nothing. Messaging with 6 different girls is very rare for me at least 50% initiated by me. I did put up a new pic upclose face with better phone/lighting. I does look badassy or badboyish, but I think I'm getting better looking but I wish I'd changed habits long ago as I'd believe my improved looks is the result of diet and nofap and of course staying busy taking care of sh!t and reading.
 

Glassguy

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My take on OLD-

Its nothing different than wealth, success, fame, etc.

The top 10% get richer and the rest of the people run around getting played and nibble on crumbs. That top 10% that are cleaning up on OLD are the 9's and 10's on ATTRACTION. That is all that you are selling of yourself.

If you are in the top 10% of the most attractive men in your area you will clean up. If not, you need to work on yourself, your fashion, etc and get there.

The more popular OLD sites have been broken down many times on this forum.

IMO-

Match is the best for meeting a higher class woman but there are also plenty of panty droppers on there.
Bumble would be second for finding something potentially sustainable.
Tinder 3rd.
OK Cupid in my area is full of fatties. I dont even get on it.
POF, IMO, regardless of area, is the trashiest of the trash on average. Find a woman that is an 8+ and she is probably majorly fvcked up, multiple baby daddies, enormous psychological problems and is just getting into the fvck and toss stage of her dating career.

I have much less success on POF vs Match, Bumble and Tinder. Several chicks that I have smashed from POF have told me that they were intimidated by me due to my perceived value vs theirs (and these chicks were 7s and 8s).

Still, it is easy for me to pull 7s all day long on POF. I am just not interested in it and dont have time for it when I can add 8s+ to my current rotation over time.

Keep in mind demographics. I am 41 and the target age for chicks that I am interested in is 25-32.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Wondering if any other guys are encountering these problems and if there are any work-arounds?
RooshV has a solution. That being, DON'T DO IT.

COOP said the cream risrs to the top. The majority of OLD is **** (low hanging fruit, single moms, cratered SMV/30+, plummeted SMV 27+, etc). You are sifting through a **** sandwich. You have access to volume but 99% of men are lazy as ****kkkk slobs. They won't do the work.

After 10yrs +/- of pickup, cold approach, its not even comparable. 110% better succes rate, better looking, no catfish IRL, and its a classic example of being forged in the fire. Now, I am not saying spend a decade with pickup but, add it to your arsenal of game. You can immediately transition it to a variety of other ways to pull baeeees.

As for OLD, I'm guilty of swiping right @ life. Sure, tinder. Bumble, use Match or e harmony, whatever you like but, develop a better solution to pulling women as online optimization is tailored to female hypergamy on steroids.

There's ETP 2.0 mega link floating online. Check reddit.

Similar to a sales funnel. STRAIGHT LINE, WORK VOLUME, CHAIN GUN VOLUME, OBV CALIBRATE, PUSH PULL, ETC.

You lead. She follows or #nextSet

Every month, a new egg drops, and she inches closer to the wall. Blame Darwin, biology, whatever. Egomania at peak. Victimhood crazy cat lady as bulking season kicked off and the milks gone bad. Lulz be had. Step your game up.

Chat up a handful of chicks everyday. Day or night. Think unleashed, collar off. Only smashin sluts. Beating ***** up.

As a student of tge game and life, i cannot stress the comedy of running into women from the past is.


Life trolls women harder than I ever could. Sit back and enjoy the ride.
 

Midnight_Oil

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I never contact first. All my successful dates are from women who message me. Went on a first date last night with a cute latina.. Now she's coming to my house tonight. Says she's going to teach me how to make "salsa!"

THIS.. except for I wonder what the hell is wrong with them when they are attractive.
 

thelad

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my mother said those girls who put them selves on dating apps are Fvukers Im starting to see it through red pill lens...its scary as ****....theres gotta be a point where u can pick and choose to your will though just cos they have pissy doesn't make them in control of dating apps. that's just tyranny. lolol
 

evan12

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Eharmoney limit the number of men women can message, actually they have to wait to whatever the program send them .I got best results with this one years a go.
 

Poonani Maker

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I am getting messaged with the first couple of minutes of logging on. 3 girls in 5 minutes. This used to Never happen, ME being opened all the time. I did upload a new picture, but didn't put it as my main photo. Maybe that one new image (very recent and upclose on my face, flannel shirt selfie taken in my den) alone is prompting messages.
 
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markfromeurope

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Dating apps suck hard during summer season.

Now, think why?

Cool people are doing tons of cool outdoor stuff during summer season being mostly socialising.

However, women are more lazy than men in winter season (seriously, it's a scientific fact) so they prefer to stay in their homes.

It's easy pattern really:

Summer season - women seem to be more outgoing than men
Winter season - women seem to be less outgoig than men

That's why during summer season you need to show off with tons of cool (mostly summer) oriented activities outdoors, while during winter season you really don't need to show off that much as their summer love is already gone and they don't really want to go out, they tend to be more depressed than men during winter etc.

So the sweet spot for Tinder hunt is l DEC until FEB really. Hunting in the second part of the year will be less efficient (I field tested it) - I'm slightly above average in dating game but I'm into the game and I'm good observer and its much easier to pull the woman for a date in the winter season via Tinder.

You also seem to be a bit of a looser if you hunt for anything serious during summer season (because women think that there's much better opportunity to meet high value men in cool places rather online and only loosers are trying to get pu.ssy online when you can hit a club pretty much every weekend!)

I've not seen any deep analysis online around this topic but I really could write a book about it right now.

ATM 3 women invited me for a meeting (they started a convo, they invited - I was just replying - two 6/10's, one 7/10), I'll try to pick up 7/10 and drag 6/10's for a while in convo for a quick-blitz-lay if I will fail with 7/10.

Guess how many times it happened during summer season? ZERO times. I always had to hunt and invite first.

This app is working, but only winter time helps you out really. Other than that, you need to blitz through it - try to kiss a woman on a second date tops. If you won't do it (no matter what, poor weather, poor mood, whatever) she won't meet with you for another date.
 
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