Are children worth it? Do you regret having kids??

[Manure Spherian]

do not regret having my daughter, I want to have at least one more child but having 1 year old at home is hard and made me doubt my decision about having another several times already.

Serious question: why would something being hard make you not want to do it? This is actually a question I have for men generally.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Serious question: why would something being hard make you not want to do it? This is actually a question I have for men generally.

I spoke with my wife about it. We want to give her someone close no matter what (especially, when we will die eventually). I know that having brother or sister does not mean that you always live well with this person, but usually you have some form of relationship with them. I think it's important - besides that, starting from around 3,5 or 4 years old, your child finally begins to be much more interesting to be around (no longer needs diapers, knows how to eat alone, plays alone a lot and finally you begin more "fathering" in terms of teaching child about the world around her or him rather than just managing basic needs of living being). Sure you first need to go through the newborn and toddler phase but everything that is worth something in life has significant price to pay - I am ready to pay this price at least one more time.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

IMO, on some level without having children there is a part of you that is not fulfilling your purpose for existence, which is to carry on your name and legacy, and with it, the human race.

 

[DJ Novice]

I don’t regret having children even though my marriage ended. Best times of my life when they were little and it continues to be now that they are young adults with lives of their own.

You experience unconditional love which you will never experience with a woman.

 

[Westminster]

IMO, on some level without having children there is a part of you that is not fulfilling your purpose for existence, which is to carry on your name and legacy, and with it, the human race.

People can dress it up however they like but ultimately this is the bottom line.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

IMO, on some level without having children there is a part of you that is not fulfilling your purpose for existence, which is to carry on your name and legacy, and with it, the human race.

men aren't necessarily meant raise kids, they're meant to pass on their genes. those are 2 very different things. i don't really know if leaving behind a legacy is a man's purpose, at least not all men since not all men are exceptional.

in fact from an evolutionary perspective, all orgasms shrare the exclusive goal to pass on their genes. the importance of parental investment in the offspring depends on the environmental conditions, etc but in general males are not the ones who typically care about investment in offspring since they have the ability to pass their genes on to many different females, which negates any need to invest in one particular child, it's a different strategy entirely.

in the modern day this is no different. if a man wanted to, he could go raw dog a dozen women in southeast asia or just visit a few sperm banks...

 

[justaroundthecorner]

men aren't necessarily meant raise kids, they're meant to pass on their genes. those are 2 very different things. i don't really know if leaving behind a legacy is a man's purpose, at least not all men since not all men are exceptional.

in fact from an evolutionary perspective, all orgasms shrare the exclusive goal to pass on their genes. the importance of parental investment in the offspring depends on the environmental conditions, etc but in general males are not the ones who typically care about investment in offspring since they have the ability to pass their genes on to many different females, which negates any need to invest in one particular child, it's a different strategy entirely.

in the modern day this is no different. if a man wanted to, he could go raw dog a dozen women in southeast asia or just visit a few sperm banks...

Your theory matches perspective that was still open only to some kings in XVIIIth or early XIXth century (or similar persons) and is no longer valid. Nowadays, with raise of social media HQ men easily get trapped in relationships to the point they are raising other people offspring willingly because being that "openminded" is expected from them and is part of their social image (imagine biological fathers of adopted Brad Pitt's or Tom Cruise's babies having laughs on the thought that their children have pretty much guaranteed future now when Kidman/Cruise or Jolie/Pitt take care of them.

Pumping&dumping freely w/o consequences of taking care of babies is pretty much not available to anyone anymore (tbh it qas always ostracised if someone's position was reputation-related). If HQ man with high social rank will try to do that, his reputation will be tarnished or he will even face jail (Prince Andrew case is a good example).

FYI: You live in the world where your former GF can file rape report out of jealousy even years after relationship ends and she can inform other people about it through social media; in the world where you can be thrown into jail because you are not paying alimonies - in the world where clients of brothels/prostitutes are recorded and later blackmailed if there is a point to do so and they are stupid enough to leave enough crumbs to be identified).

Social media, technology and awareness of society is very high these days and all these help guard social order or help people that are below other people to get something from people above them (legally or not) - sometimes its much better to not act on your urge to sleep with a woman than to actually do it - especially in Western countries/USA.

Notice how many celebrities try to keep their life private, especially if they are dating much below their own age. You have only one reputation - and its much more valuable than carnal pleasure.

 

[kzar_kzar]

I know the politically correct answer is to say " i dont regret my kids". Are there any parents that regret having children? With as many crappy parents that exist I would imagine that quite a few regret their kids. I would hate to have kids with the modern woman and then realize I should have just been an anti natalist. The only reason I interact with the modern woman is because one day I may want a child.

I don’t have kids - however I would love to have them - I love my nephew/nieces to bits - annoying as fxcks but still wants to have mine - only problem is I don’t tolerate drama from partner and baggage they bring -

hoping this year or next year will try to settle and see how it goes - haha -

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

FYI: You live in the world where your former GF can file rape report out of jealousy even years after relationship ends and she can inform other people about it through social media; in the world where you can be thrown into jail because you are not paying alimonies - in the world where clients of brothels/prostitutes are recorded and later blackmailed if there is a point to do so and they are stupid enough to leave enough crumbs to be identified).

That's why I said pump and dump in SE Asia... for various reasons I probably don't have to go into, i'm very doubtful you would get into any trouble from such a thing.

I have heard of woman suing for child support from sperm bank donors, but I think if you spoke with a lawyer, you could avoid that situation altogether with some kind of clause that requires a signature if your sperm is used.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I was at Wal-mart getting tires and in the waiting room with me was a guy on the phone with his kid who was asking him for money. He gets off the phone and starts talking to me about his son who is at college on a football scholarship, but still always asking for money. He obviously loved his son very much and talked a lot about how good he was at football. Then he asked me, "you got kids?"

"No"

"Wife?"

"No"

"Awwww sh1tt!!! You livin the dream, dawg! You livin the dream!"

 

[MatureDJ]

An essential and absolute & essential requirement for life is its ability of reproduction. As humans, that means that men must somehow figure out how to get a woman to accept & nurture our seed.

 

[MatureDJ]

That's why I said pump and dump in SE Asia... for various reasons I probably don't have to go into, i'm very doubtful you would get into any trouble from such a thing.

I have heard of woman suing for child support from sperm bank donors, but I think if you spoke with a lawyer, you could avoid that situation altogether with some kind of clause that requires a signature if your sperm is used.

The sperm bank is essentially the "safe harbor" for sperm donations. Any donation outside of this isn't considered a donation.

 

[Manure Spherian]

"Awwww sh1tt!!! You livin the dream, dawg! You livin the dream!"

Married men with children say this sh-t but wouldn’t trade in their lives for that of bachelors. They say it for effect.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Married men with children say this sh-t but wouldn’t trade in their lives for that of bachelors. They say it for effect.

that's because most men would do not know what to do with their lives without a job and a family. the bachelor pad, self-employed nomadic lifestyle simply does not a suit a lot of men, it's challenging, isolating, volatile, and lacks a specific purpose. you have to define and live by your own values and create your own fulfillment.