Are children worth it? Do you regret having kids??

[ThisIsSparta]

Didnt love a person for 20 years after my first 1 or 2 girlfriends. I relearned loving when my kid was about 1 year.
Knowing what i know after being redpilled, i doubt that i will ever love a woman again, but i love my kid.

That said, before thinking of kids you need to be in a position (socially, economicaly, law-wise) in which you dont have to be afraid to walk away from the mother of your kids at any point and she has to know this. She also has to think you are the best she could get and be afraid that you could walk away. Otherwise you set yourself up for desaster.

 

[BadWatermelon]

I would say many (not all) female lawyers I have come across typically are out to prove something. This doesn't change when they become a judge. I think it is certainly the type of woman who wants to get a law degree in a profession that has historically been male dominant.

I have also dated (in an LTR) a female lawyer for 2.5 years and can say it was often a difficult road to hoe. Hot and very smart - but a huge pain in the a$$ and constantly starting frame wars. Won't make that mistake again.

(We have gotten a little off topic here lol)

Is that your profession (as your name implies)? If so I'd imagine you'd have seen a lot of female lawyers.

 

[SW15]

I am finally at the point in my career where I can write my own ticket, but now too old and worn down by life to have as much fun. So much damage done on the way up that I am taking 4 months or so off to heal from burnout.

Good for you. Professional burnout is real.

 

[2Rocky]

It's been between 15 and 23 years since each of my children were born, and I honestly don't remember it being a decision, but instead an assumption, an expectation, that I would have children.
When I met their mother she had the traits I wanted my children to have. Tall, blonde, athletic, slender, similar background to me, similar career field, and she was willing to have sex with me...

My mindset was that marriage = children and she was the gatekeeper to that. So she "pulled the goalie" during my first job out of college and we were on our way... Not the most responsible mindset for our financial future.

What I notice though, is that I'm doing better being a parent with my youngest, than I did with my oldest. Whether that is due to experience or having more time and resources or a combination , I don't know. Looking back, I might have chosen instead to keep a few shots of frozen semen so I could be more analytical about when and how I reproduced. But I think the ideal arrangement for my kids I've learned is that the best genetics and the best mother are two separate women in my life.

I think a lot of men become fathers because the woman they like more than any other wants to be a mother. I don't see a lot of single men wanting to raise a child. (Really who would?) But they find the joy in it. For the good fathers, they find enough joy that they sacrifice their time, energy and money to play that role.

If you are asking if it is "worth it" and going to base a decision on that right now, don't bring a child in this world. Like religion, you have to have faith that it will be, and have the satisfaction that you did the best you could regardless of the outcome.

 

[SW15]

I think a lot of men become fathers because the woman they like more than any other wants to be a mother. I don't see a lot of single men wanting to raise a child. (Really who would?)

Most men are ambivalent about having kids. The men that do want kids don't have the raging desires for fatherhood that a childless women 27-35 typically has for motherhood.

So she "pulled the goalie"

I know of way too many unintended pregnancies. A lot of times it's a man either is ambivalent about kids or doesn't want them getting with a woman who either wasn't on birth control or wasn't managing her birth control well. I've seen too many SJW/liberal White women with college degrees 25+ get pregnant and elect to carry the pregnancy even though the guy really didn't want it.

When I met their mother she had the traits I wanted my children to have. Tall, blonde, athletic, slender, similar background to me, similar career field, and she was willing to have sex with me...

Tall, blonde, athletic, slender and DTF for me are traits I would consider great.

 

[Epicwinguy]

A real Alpha Male doesn’t raise kids. He ****s another guy’s wife then that man raises the Alpha’s kids not knowing his wife cheated.

 

[2Rocky]

A real Alpha Male doesn’t....

 

[Epicwinguy]

View attachment 8605

Damn it took a minute for someone to call out the ridiculousness of my posts. I’m not surprised and I guess I shouldn’t be disappointed either.

 

[Barrister]

Is that your profession (as your name implies)? If so I'd imagine you'd have seen a lot of female lawyers.

Yes. I’m a criminal defense lawyer.

 

[SW15]

Makes you wonder if they still would have gone through with it if the guy was able to forfeit rights and responsibilities.

They wouldn't.

 

[BeExcellent]

No regrets.

 

[icwnt]

Yes i regret it. Obviously I am happy for my daughter, she is a individual , a unique character and being in this universe just like you and me. But my Lord it took me some drama ,pain heartache and bs to even be able to see her.

My next LTR did a abortion and tbh I am happy she did it . I would have 2 batshyt crazy babymoms living both at the other side of the country. Plus she showed so much crazy behavior, I am unsure she would be a good mother.

Gone are the days that being a mother shapes a woman to be a relatively good person. Dont think that a child will make her respect you more, quite the opposite will happen. She will look down on you even faster and hyper gamy will kick in harder ( I need a real man vs I need you).

I think best thing a man can do is just tell Stacy you want kids, impregnate her and try some co parenting. And accept that one day you're son will hear all kinds of crazy stories about his mother.

Sheesh.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I know the politically correct answer is to say " i dont regret my kids". Are there any parents that regret having children?

Of course. It's kind of the same thing as buyers remorse or other mental gymnastics people do. I bet far more parents regret having children than you'd think, but most will never admit it to anyone, including themselves. In fact I think admitting regret would show a lot of character and courage rather than pretending and coping like many people do.

Personally, I'd rather lose an arm and a leg than have a child, but that's just me. I'm sure some people genuinely love being parents.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Whilst I do believe children can bring some substantial meaning to an otherwise very pointless existence ,

the decision to have them will write off at least one decade of your life ( two if we are being more realistic )

Freedom becomes very sparse , money has too be prioritised , and your personal space ' leisure time is gone

I also see A LOT of theatrics when it comes to people that have multiple kids they'll smile and tell you its worth it but under the surface in the background I see jimmy, Johnny and Sara smashing everything to bits and screaming their heads off for ice cream

A simple trip to the supermarket becomes like a military operation

So I don't know for me its very 50/50

 

[BeExcellent]

Whilst I do believe children can bring some substantial meaning to an otherwise very pointless existence ,

the decision to have them will write off at least one decade of your life ( two if we are being more realistic )

Freedom becomes very sparse , money has too be prioritised , and your personal space ' leisure time is gone

I also see A LOT of theatrics when it comes to people that have multiple kids they'll smile and tell you its worth it but under the surface in the background I see jimmy, Johnny and Sara smashing everything to bits and screaming their heads off for ice cream

A simple trip to the supermarket becomes like a military operation

So I don't know for me its very 50/50

Those are management problems on the part of the parents.

Time management problem where the couple spending private time together was not properly prioritized....

Behavioral management problem where the parent fails to manage the kids' behavior.

My kids learned very quickly and very young not to misbehave. I always got compliments on the behavior of my kids. Why? I am too lazy to tell kids something 5 times. I tell them 1 time. If they disobey they get a consequence they don't like. (swat, time out, loss of device, extra chores etc. depending on age)....and I am consistent as the sunrise at enforcement.

They learn an unpleasant outcome. They don't like the outcome. As a result they know compliance with a directive is required the first time, and they follow the directive (comply) to avoid adverse consequence.

Consistency is key or you end up rewarding bad behavior. I was too lazy to deal with all that. With first directive compliance parenting gets lots easier and the kids understand the boundaries.

But ya. Many parents suck at enforcing boundaries....and that's how you end up with abnoxious entitled little pricks for kids.

Ya-Nope.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Those are management problems on the part of the parents.

Time management problem where the couple spending private time together was not properly prioritized....

Behavioral management problem where the parent fails to manage the kids' behavior.

My kids learned very quickly and very young not to misbehave. I always got compliments on the behavior of my kids. Why? I am too lazy to tell kids something 5 times. I tell them 1 time. If they disobey they get a consequence they don't like. (swat, time out, loss of device, extra chores etc. depending on age)....and I am consistent as the sunrise at enforcement.

They learn an unpleasant outcome. They don't like the outcome. As a result they know compliance with a directive is required the first time, and they follow the directive (comply) to avoid adverse consequence.

Consistency is key or you end up rewarding bad behavior. I was too lazy to deal with all that. With first directive compliance parenting gets lots easier and the kids understand the boundaries.

But ya. Many parents suck at enforcing boundaries....and that's how you end up with abnoxious entitled little pricks for kids.

Ya-Nope.

No different than dealing with bad behavior in a relationship.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Id love to have kids someday, Im thinking of starting a family abroad where my retirement pension from The Military will go a long ways dollar wise. Id think twice about marrying a modern woman from The West and will likely do some traveling in search of a bride. The benefits to having kids is it will give your life a more sense of purpose, more meaning that it’s not about you anymore and more stability and companionship. Plus Im a really spiritual Man and it would enhance my faith.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Are there any parents that regret having children?

I'll go out on a limb and say "Most"... For everyone who transcends the circumstances of their forebearers, there are billions more who end up being clones of Mummy and Daddy, perpetrating all the exact same blunders. Who in their right mind experiences pride or elation, upon glancing over such a sight, then thinking to themselves:


"I produced multiple scrubs just like me, who are now ALSO slumming it in lousy marriages, languishing in dead end employment, and raising kids who are dope fiends with rap sheets twice the length of The Nile, all before age 12" ?

Let's stop pretending that declining birth rates are inherently a "bad thing"... This sh-tfest we're mired in now is the byproduct of entirely too many folks who were unfit to breed spawning more incurable degenerates, just like themselves

 

[Manure Spherian]

I don’t regret having my kids one bit. Such a thought has never even occurred to me. My kids are bright, outgoing, funny, kind, and beautiful. And no, I’m not saying this just because they’re mine, as I’d admit if they were otherwise.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

I do not regret having my daughter, I want to have at least one more child but having 1 year old at home is hard and made me doubt my decision about having another several times already.

But I think the ideal arrangement for my kids I've learned is that the best genetics and the best mother are two separate women in my life.

I am pretty sure that the most of guys perceive best genetics as great looks - unfortunately, it's not that simple.. Best genetics should give you person both with high IQ and EQ - much more common is mix of great looks and average or slightly below average IQ/EQ which is nothing special in terms of person's capabilities and if yiu are smart you are risking watering down your genes with tgese of plain intellect. It's better to have a kid with 7/10 looks woman that is high IQ/EQ than with average IQ but 9/10 in looks.