sazc
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2016
- Messages
- 4,468
- Reaction score
- 3,402
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Are boundaries best communicated covertly or overtly?
- Thread starter El Payaso
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
- Not an argument.
- Not a working example.
- Not a boundary.
- Not a seducer.
Summary
When a man explicitly sets boundaries, he is using an ultimatum. Ultimatums don't work. A man can never say "You MUST do X" or "You MUST NOT do Y" and have it be effective.
This is different than not tolerating her BS and being willing to walk.
Boundaries should be implicit, and a man should put his foot down over certain actions as they happen. He should not set rules for her future actions.
In one case you're always happy either way, you're happy with her or without her. In the second case you are implying your happiness is based on her behavior, and that you'll be upset if you don't have her.
These are not the same thing and I think this is where the disagreement lies.
When a man explicitly sets boundaries, he is using an ultimatum. Ultimatums don't work. A man can never say "You MUST do X" or "You MUST NOT do Y" and have it be effective.
This is different than not tolerating her BS and being willing to walk.
Boundaries should be implicit, and a man should put his foot down over certain actions as they happen. He should not set rules for her future actions.
- Good (Implicit Boundary): If you want to date him, that's fine, but I need to cancel our plans for this week.
- Bad (Explicit Boundary) : You are not allowed to date other men, or else.
In one case you're always happy either way, you're happy with her or without her. In the second case you are implying your happiness is based on her behavior, and that you'll be upset if you don't have her.
These are not the same thing and I think this is where the disagreement lies.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I love expressing my boundaries without uttering a word...this is an art that if you master it fvcks their head royally,took me a while to get it down as it requires you in complete control of your emotions.