Are all marriages as bad as they seem?

Epicwinguy

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Dead bedroom, cheating, snarky stuck up attitude, having screaming babies I didn't want, her throwing as many tantrums as the babies. These are all the things that come to mind when I hear about marriages.

As I am almost 30 I've been feeling like giving up on having any fun in the dating world, but I still have that desire to ****. Guys on here are even telling me to settle down, and I have ideas on how to find a woman to marry me, but marriage sucks. It seems to anyways. Idk, I just feel like having sex workers sometimes is a better life for me, who doesn't want that cookie cutter nuclear family lifestyle.
 

Epicwinguy

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That video is way to damn long and he doesn't get to the point fast enough at all. But that meme seems to be saying "don't get married at all." So are you telling me to keep trying to learn "game?"
 

jaymbrs

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Hell even having a gf has been becoming a pain in the ass which is why I took a year off from dating seriously. It’s been a stress free year and I have accomplished a lot. The happy medium is right around having a FWB. But that won’t last forever. But then again nothing does.
 

AureliusMaximus

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That video is way to damn long and he doesn't get to the point fast enough at all. But that meme seems to be saying "don't get married at all." So are you telling me to keep trying to learn "game?"
You never read a book then? Good things might take long time.
 

Epicwinguy

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Hell even having a gf has been becoming a pain in the ass which is why I took a year off from dating seriously. It’s been a stress free year and I have accomplished a lot. The happy medium is right around having a FWB. But that won’t last forever. But then again nothing does.
FWB is the toughest thing to get, it seems. LTR is the easiest to get, but toughest to deal with.
 

SW15

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@Epicwinguy raises an interesting point.

It is difficult for outsiders to know much about the quality of the marriages of the people they know. It's not good to judge marriage as a whole based on the small, non-representative sample of people known.

There is social science research about marriage as a while. Below is a article from Caleb Jones dissecting marriage statistics in 2014.


We know from 2021 marriage research that the typical marriage containing partners under 60 has less sex in it as compared to 1989.

As a whole, married people have more sex than non-married people, but that's only because there are a lot of non-married men who are incels/MGTOWs. Married people's stats are enhanced by recently married couples (less than 5 years of marriage). Typically speaking, data points tend to show that marital sex declines as time goes on for many reasons.
 

Stuffnu

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We are not a monogamous species!!!

Marriage is a societal construct to get together to procreate and share resources.
Once that runs it’s course, every man and woman fantasize having sexy time with someone else.

Yes, we all know grandparents, family members, etc. that have been together for decades, But they live as best friends and sleep in separate beds.
Those that still have true “pound town” is a rarity.

Do you not notice ethical non monogamous (ENM) is becoming more popular?
As men, you have to decide taking the moral high ground or the animalistic one.
I prefer the latter.
 

ManFromTartarus

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Based on my own experience and what I've witnessed around me throughout my life, if I had the choice to marry and raise children, I would not have. But then that is solely hindsight from someone who did not make the best choices when it came to mating.

SW15 raises another good point about sample size & quality of studies on the subject. (I have to read up more on Caleb Jones)

The study of about 200 people under 1 year of marriage that Richard Cooper talks about in that vid posted, I don't feel is a good barometer, nor my own environment through my life of witnessing mostly failed and dysfunctional relationships (including my own). That said, there is some merit his point that a great portion of the female population considering potential mates "want it all" or as I see it, want COMPLETE CONTROL. A desirable, virile man, that's qualified enough to provide (or at least contribute equally as today's professional women), but not intelligent enough to avoid being under her control.

I can't say that I have never known any couples that were happy in their LTR (at least from the outside) but I can safely say it has been a rarity.
 

RBK

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Most of my married friends get BJs on their birthday once a year sex every month and do kid stuff 90% of the time. Depends what you want out of life.

Most single men 40+ are ostracized from being around married couples and looked at as the outsider.

“Married and bored, or single and lonely”.-Chris Rock
 

Epicwinguy

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Most of my married friends get BJs on their birthday once a year sex every month and do kid stuff 90% of the time. Depends what you want out of life.

Most single men 40+ are ostracized from being around married couples and looked at as the outsider.

“Married and bored, or single and lonely”.-Chris Rock
Which is why I don't want to get married. Is there such a thing as a woman who doesn't want kids?
 

RBK

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Which is why I don't want to get married. Is there such a thing as a woman who doesn't want kids?
Yes, couple of my friends have wives who dont want kids. These are usually career focused women. Not the norm however.
 

SW15

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Most of my married friends get BJs on their birthday once a year sex every month and do kid stuff 90% of the time. Depends what you want out of life.
That sounds unpleasant to me.

Most single men 40+ are ostracized from being around married couples and looked at as the outsider.
This starts a lot earlier than 40, more like early 30s.
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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Not cut and dried. In my corner of the map there is still feminine girls who are riders and loyal to their man in a serious relationship living together and marriage wouldn’t be any different.
Cute chicks with men that are not physically attractive but his sharp jaw and masculine attitude keeps the chick on her heels.

My next door neighbors here in Mexico are a young couple with two small children.
When they first moved in I introduced myself to the dude since I was outside doing yard work. I let him know that this a quiet safe neighborhood but at the same time not to piss up the wrong tree.
I see his wife here and there and I definitely would tap it but I draw the line when it comes to married females with children.
The guy goes to work everyday and the chick is a stay at home mom.
Never have I heard loud arguments.
Young patriarchy nuclear families are still thriving out here g

It will be by divine intervention or some sh1t for me to forfeit my bachelor path and be a full fledged family man/dad.
But Honestly though sometimes my 32 year old biological urges boil in my blood and I want to have a down azz cute latina gf and impregnate her with our first child.
Girls always get more hardwired to their first baby daddy and are more submissive.
 
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RazorRambo24

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Definitely not man. I noticed that culture/tradition can play a huge role in values. Alot of Hispanic people have super low divorce rates of like 6-9%.. Same with Italians. Same with Indians, Same with Middle Easterns.
 

Bingo-Player

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Most of my oldest freinds are now in the process of marrying their girlfreinds

Some have chosen to expedite the process with two of them popping the question after the 1 year mark

I notice that the way they describe and portray their relationships has already drastically changed

One of my closest friends for the first 6 months was doing all the nice dating stuff like city breaks , holidays , nice bars and restaurants, telling us about his sex marathons and generally having a blast

Today he his living with her and engaged.......i can't remember the last time he mentioned something about sex with her , there are very rarely any nice dates posted on social media anymore and their wedding planning has become a very expensive and stressful soap opera

IF women are the gatekeepers of sex and men the gatekeepers of marriage i am not so sure i would be rushing to indulge her

I would be trying to prolong the "honeymoon" phase of the relationship for as long as possible

Its a bit of a double ended sword because people think that by getting married and having children it will make the core relationship stronger

When in reality it does the opposite , it actually takes it to breaking point and when you mix that in with a general decline in effort from both partners the outcome is rarely what most expect

If that relationship isn't built on very very solid foundations it will fall to bits after marriage / children
 
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