How could anyone who knows me actually believe I'm engaged. Oh wait, they are all females that's how. And the fact that me and this chic have been exchanging wall posts all day and I recruited my friends to post stuff like "finally, its about time you too did it!" "What took you so long to propose man!" . Hilarity and gullibility has ensued as well as phone calls, texts and emails. LOL.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
April Fools & Facebook.
- Thread starter Warrior74
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
squirrels
Master Don Juan
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I thought about posting here that I was getting married to a girl I just met, as an AFJ. 
Amazing said:
Yah I girl I knew changed her status to engaged, so I convinced her to say she was engaged to me. We have been sending each other love notes and sexy videos all day. lol. Had one girl cuss me out because she thought it was real, she sent me some naked pics on my phone a couple of days ago. LOLOLOLOL. In the middle of her cussing me out, I asked her if she knew that gullible wasn't in the dictionary! She tried to laugh it off, but she showed her hand.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
MikeBrown30
Senior Don Juan
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Ahahahahaha, nice.
ThunderMaverick
Master Don Juan
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Well, trailblazer, you and 30 other people on my friend's list beat me to it.
ThunderMaverick said:Well, trailblazer, you and 30 other people on my friend's list beat me to it.
LOL. I know right? About 10 of my friends did it and people still fell for it. Clearly some people are not the brightest, others complained about all the pregnancies and celebrities who died. Facebook : showing you which one of your friends believes everything they read without thinking since 2005
Kailex
Master Don Juan
I hate you Warrior. It's all your fault.
You see, I don't use Facebook anymore. So when I saw this thread, I figured... what the eff?
So I listed my status as Engaged and then updated my status with:
"Wow, Empire State Building. It was magnificent, it was the perfect spot to act like I tripped, bend down on one knee and then propose. She said YES from the top of New York City."
Well, at first I get a few CONGRATS.
And then it starts happening... my sister starts texting me with ???????.
My mom's leaving me voicemails yelling at me: "How dare you not tell me first!!!"
Awesome.
And then it finally happens.
I hadn't used my Facebook for MONTHS, since I was in an LTR, and you guessed it... my ex is still ON MY FACEBOOK.
Thank you Warrior. I had her all over my ass for that.
PS: It was hilarious. I loved every minute of it. People are way too gullible.
You see, I don't use Facebook anymore. So when I saw this thread, I figured... what the eff?
So I listed my status as Engaged and then updated my status with:
"Wow, Empire State Building. It was magnificent, it was the perfect spot to act like I tripped, bend down on one knee and then propose. She said YES from the top of New York City."
Well, at first I get a few CONGRATS.
And then it starts happening... my sister starts texting me with ???????.
My mom's leaving me voicemails yelling at me: "How dare you not tell me first!!!"
Awesome.
And then it finally happens.
I hadn't used my Facebook for MONTHS, since I was in an LTR, and you guessed it... my ex is still ON MY FACEBOOK.
Thank you Warrior. I had her all over my ass for that.
PS: It was hilarious. I loved every minute of it. People are way too gullible.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Not all that long ago, shortly after i ended things with a girl, i changed my facebook status to engaged and selected a girl I know from high school that lives in japan now. She starts commenting on my status and from the comments you can see it's obviously a joke.Warrior74 said:
So the next morning, like 9 hours after this happened, i wake up to texts from the ex saying i gave her a breakdown and she can't believe this and that i'm such a hypocrite because i had told her that i'd never get married and on and on and on. Oh, and that i had told her before that i never talk to exes so of course she's exploding that i'm talking to an ex. The joke girl isn't even an ex. She was another of my friend's exes.
I haven't seen the "engaged" girl in 15 years and she lives in JAPAN which is easily seeable from the comments we went back and forth making and by glancing at her profile.
No one else blinked at an eye at the status change because they know me.
So now i'm the callous assh0le who's out to get her and doesn't care that he gives her "breakdowns." Even after she accepts that it was a joke that should've been obvious from the start.
lorekeeper
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Changed my status to "married" as a joke when I went to india for a month.
22 replies, not ONE of them believed it. most were "hahahha" or "rofl" but a couple were like "you get back here right now mister"
maybe I just don't give off that vibe
22 replies, not ONE of them believed it. most were "hahahha" or "rofl" but a couple were like "you get back here right now mister"
maybe I just don't give off that vibe