"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Appropriate response to "I've got a boyfriend"

Infern0

Infern0

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I approached a cute girl today who works in a coffee place near my work. Had had some signs of high interest from her so decide to ask her for a drink.

Response while smiling and looking kind of nervous "er... ive got a boyfriend so I kind of can't but if I didn't then yes"

I just laughed and said "well if it doesn't work out with him let me know"

She laughed and said yeah.

Was this handled well? For future reference
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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9

9Volt

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Infern0 said:
I approached a cute girl today who works in a coffee place near my work. Had had some signs of high interest from her so decide to ask her for a drink.

Response while smiling and looking kind of nervous "er... ive got a boyfriend so I kind of can't but if I didn't then yes"

I just laughed and said "well if it doesn't work out with him let me know"

She laughed and said yeah.

Was this handled well? For future reference
Click to expand...
If a chick tells you she has a boyfriend she might just have one or she isn't interested/ doesn't know you well enough.

Just move on. There's no magic words that are going to automatically make them "forget" they have a boyfriend or not use that line if they aren't into you or don't know you well enough.

Besides why would you want a chick that has a boyfriend already? Even if you did she already threw that out there to let you know she either has one or isn't interested. Then what are you going to do? Chase her? Try to one up her? Neg her?

Best to just accept it and move on. (If it happens with every chick you meet. Then it could be something with you that they are saying the BF line especially if you know a chick doesn't have one.) Only you would know the reason.
 
Infern0

Infern0

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I'm taking her at her word she has a b/f. It's no biggie for me, as I say she is cute and it could have been fun but oh well. I was a bit surprised because she had been talking to one of my coworkers saying that I was hot etc so I figured it was a safe bet.

What's the deal with not knowing a guy well enough? In this case I've bought a few drinks off her and chatted a bit with her but I figured since she was showing high IL might as well strike while the iron was hot?
 
Fireballs

Fireballs

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Her: ''I have a boyfriend''

You: ''That's ok, I'm not the jealous type''

or

You: ''Cool, he can bring us breakfast in bed''

(Both said playfully)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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nismo-4

nismo-4

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You don't make her tingle. You can either walk off or be an orbiter/ girlfriend/ or emotional tampon.

Move on, you've been rejected.
 
9

9Volt

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Infern0 said:
I'm taking her at her word she has a b/f. It's no biggie for me, as I say she is cute and it could have been fun but oh well. I was a bit surprised because she had been talking to one of my coworkers saying that I was hot etc so I figured it was a safe bet.

What's the deal with not knowing a guy well enough? In this case I've bought a few drinks off her and chatted a bit with her but I figured since she was showing high IL might as well strike while the iron was hot?
Click to expand...
If you see her again keep things lighthearted, friendly and cordial. Get to know the chick. (If she knows your co-worker and you see her again.) She may warm up to you.

She did say if she didn't have a boyfriend she'd say yes so don't take it as a blow out "rejection". Nothing wrong with a chick who's loyal to her boyfriend even if she did find you hot.

#1 rule: DO NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONAL. Most dudes get upset, take sh1t personal and or come up with any and every other reason she "really" "rejected" you/them. She said she has a boyfriend or she'd say yes. So it's not like she said: Fvk off or just blew you off /ignored you. If she said you were hot then she obviously thought you were. She's not going to lie about you being hot and then lie she has a boyfriend. Makes no sense. If she didn't like you she would've just blown you off or gave the BF line and not mentioned finding you hot.

Who knows? You may run into her in the future when she's single. For now meet other chicks.
 
Infern0

Infern0

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9Volt said:
If you see her again keep things lighthearted, friendly and cordial. Get to know the chick. (If she knows your co-worker and you see her again.) She may warm up to you.

She did say if she didn't have a boyfriend she'd say yes so don't take it as a blow out "rejection". Nothing wrong with a chick who's loyal to her boyfriend even if she did find you hot.

#1 rule: DO NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONAL. Most dudes get upset, take sh1t personal and or come up with any and every other reason she "really" "rejected" you/them. She said she has a boyfriend or she'd say yes. So it's not like she said: Fvk off or just blew you off /ignored you. If she said you were hot then she obviously thought you were. She's not going to lie about you being hot and then lie she has a boyfriend. Makes no sense. If she didn't like you she would've just blown you off or gave the BF line and not mentioned finding you hot.

Who knows? You may run into her in the future when she's single. For now meet other chicks.
Click to expand...
Yeah if she's got a boyfriend that's cool and I'd rather she was straight up than lie about it or try to put me in backup. I'm not going to be awkward about it but nor will I ever bring it up again.

Like I say not a huge one for me just wanted to know if I handled it OK for future reference.

Half the peeps in this thread seem to think she was definitely lying and just wasn't attracted to me, funny because I didn't know every girl in the world was single or would finish their boyfriend on the spot if you were attractive enough haha
 
marmel75

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With a devilish smirk tell her "It's cool, I'm not the jealous type" and then continue on as if she never said that...

In this case, you pull out your phone, go to contacts and say "814..." and start punching it in and let her finish...they almost always will...
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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P

Peña

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Can't you guys admit there are quality girls around? Same guys who complain all women are wh0res get mad when girls won't cheat saying it's
rejection. :crackup:
 
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