Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Approaching filtering

Levrone

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I was wondering. Do you (the real DJ's :p) only approach women who show interrest in you by staring at you or other body language? So you know they're interrested in you.
Or do you go to every hot women, even if she didn't look at you at all (for several reasons, because she didn't noticed you or something).
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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I agree with Pugs. One of the pitfalls of an aspiring DJ is taking too much time over analyzing the situation. That causes way too much anxiety.

Approach everyone just to work on your charisma. Sarge the ones that you feel are hot. As for the others, well... It doesn't hurt to get in some practice rejecting someone else... :p
 

Levrone

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Hmm isn't that only for experienced DJ's?

For me it's hard to approach a woman, even if she looks at me. But that would make it much easier to say something.
I don't know what to say to a woman if she even didn't saw me at al.
 

Pugsley_f5

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Read my approach journal, I did exactly what I reccomended to you, just approach them while they were reading a fricking book......turn out I got her number she got mine I never called her she in turn called me and wanted to setup a date...........signals are fine and dandy but you will drive yourself batty waiting for them, just consider them the icing on the cake, if they happen cool but otherwise just do it and youll have awesome results.............
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Jariel

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I always look for interest first. As a result I never get knocked back and I keep my reputation in tact.

Actually, I'm not a fan of cold approaches on the whole. They seem to be a good way of meeting flakes, b1tches and attention wh0res. I much prefer getting to know women before asking them out.
 

Evil-Rom

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Originally posted by Jariel
I always look for interest first. As a result I never get knocked back and I keep my reputation in tact.

Actually, I'm not a fan of cold approaches on the whole. They seem to be a good way of meeting flakes, b1tches and attention wh0res. I much prefer getting to know women before asking them out.
You can't "get to know" cold approaches? Isn't that the whole point of cold approaching? To get to know them more?

And no they are not a good way of meeting "flakes, b1tches and attention wh0res". Maybe you just aren't building enough attraction.
 

Tha Realnezz

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Originally posted by Levrone
I was wondering. Do you (the real DJ's :p) only approach women who show interrest in you by staring at you or other body language? So you know they're interrested in you.
Or do you go to every hot women, even if she didn't look at you at all (for several reasons, because she didn't noticed you or something).
Yes only with signals.When they are choosing you. They have to look mighty fine for me to do a cold approach nowadays.

Throw your own signals out there too.
 

Vincent

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If I see a hot chick that I want to talk to I'll do the approach. If its someone that I'm not terribly interested in, but I'm getting body language from I'll do it just cause its fun :p

Being a DJ is not about one way or the other, neither is wrong or right, its about knowing when to use it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Jariel

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Originally posted by Evil-Rom
You can't "get to know" cold approaches? Isn't that the whole point of cold approaching? To get to know them more?
Of course you can't get to know someone in 5-10 minutes.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm very selective about personality.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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I don't know, it just seems to take a lot of extra effort to try to find out a woman's interest level before approaching. For me it's just easier to say "hi," strike up a conversation and go from there. If we both determine that we're interested in one another, great. If not we say goodbye and go about our merry ways. No anxiety, no pressure.
 
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