Approaching at the gym

[EndlessNameless]

Hi guys,
There’s this girl at my gym whom I’ve seen a couple of times. On both occasions, she positioned herself quite close to me for like 15 mn while doing her exercises—even though the gym was nearly empty. We were both doing floor exercises and only about 6 feet apart, which would have made it easy for me to start a conversation.
The second time, she came to me to ask if she was bothering me by working out next to me. I said it was ok but I did not follow up because I’m quite introverted and often second-guess myself when it comes to interpreting IOIs. But I found it curious that she chose to be near me both times.
Because I’m shy and I dont'want to be seen as the guy who flirts at the gym, I didn’t start a conversation.
But if another opportunity comes up, do you think I should engage ? And what would be a cool way to do it?

 

[BPH]

Just ask her out.

It's the gym, nobody cares.

 

[EndlessNameless]

Just ask her out?Isn't it the best way to go down in flames ?

 

[BPH]

Just ask her out?Isn't it the best way to go down in flames ?

What would you rather do...

Ask her out and figure out in .5 seconds whether you have a future?

Or see her every single day and fantasize about what your life could've been like if you asked her out and she said yes?

Literally nobody cares about or is thinking about you, except you. So go do what YOU want.

 

[SW15]

Start a basic conversation with her, see where things go, and ask her out.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Yeah I would go indirect and just feel her out, if she's using proximity to get close to you, I would imagine she'd be socially intelligent enough to give u better cues once u open her for further convo.

 

[EndlessNameless]

Start a basic conversation with her, see where things go, and ask her out.

Sounds natural right ? Maybe it's the influence of feminist ideas, but I can't shake the feeling that guys approaching girls at the gym is seen as inappropriate

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Yeah I mean typically u don't wanna go direct at the gym, it takes some discipline but its worth not burning up the spot u train at weekly.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah I mean typically u don't wanna go direct at the gym, it takes some discipline but its worth not burning up the spot u train at weekly.

The gym is a business trip. Can't remember saying more than 2 or 3 words outside of being asked or asking if someone was finished on equiptment in 3-4 years.

Or people asking me about other things related to lifting and my workouts,etc which I would give them short answers to and excuse myself to get back to work.

 

[Clockwerk50]

From what you describe, it’s hard to tell whether she’s trying to seduce you, meaning she made the first move and the ball is now in your court, or if she’s simply being polite.

The only way to find out if she’s actually open to you is to mirror her approach. Get close to her and start a conversation to gauge her interest. You could say something like, “I guess we’re following each other again,” or “I hope you’re not taking my weights again, lol.”

(This advice assumes you have the confidence and conversational skills to carry it.)

 

[Sega Genesis]

We were both doing floor exercises and only about 6 feet apart, which would have made it easy for me to start a conversation.

^^Which was precisely what she was aiming for by doing floor only six feet apart! Hello.....

The second time, she came to me to ask if she was bothering me by working out next to me.

Huge IOI... HUGE!!

What are you waiting for man, a big red neon sign stating "I'm attracted to you! Let's talk, go out."

I'm female btw.

 

[SW15]

I can't shake the feeling that guys approaching girls at the gym is seen as inappropriate

It isn't inappropriate if you're a hot, fit guy with charisma. Go for it!

In any daygame venue, I do not care what women think of me approaching them. I approach if I want to approach.

 

[Sega Genesis]

In any daygame venue, I do not care what women think of me approaching them. I approach if I want to approach.

SHE approached him....

 

[SW15]

The second time, she came to me to ask if she was bothering me by working out next to me. I said it was ok but I did not follow up because I’m quite introverted and often second-guess myself when it comes to interpreting IOIs. But I found it curious that she chose to be near me both times.

SHE approached him....

Yes, that is an approach. She did approach. He should have escalated it then and there. That was the best time to escalate and arrange a future get together.

 

[plumber]

SHE approached him....

The best time to respond would be immediatly.

 

[EndlessNameless]

^^Which was precisely what she was aiming for by doing floor only six feet apart! Hello.....



Huge IOI... HUGE!!

What are you waiting for man, a big red neon sign stating "I'm attracted to you! Let's talk, go out."

I'm female btw.

Appreciate the female perspective.
Quick question: let’s say you’re into a guy and you’re dropping hints but he’s not picking up on them, does that make you lose interest ?

 

[Sega Genesis]

Appreciate the female perspective.
Quick question: let’s say you’re into a guy and you’re dropping hints but he’s not picking up on them, does that make you lose interest ?

Not sure if I would lose interest necessarily, it would depend on how high (or low) my interest/attraction was to begin with.

However, in any case I would definitely stop sending IOIs, approaching and placing myself in his vicinity.

If he approached me, I'd talk to him.

Why do you ask? What's going on?

Is she ignoring you now?

 

[EndlessNameless]

Not sure if I would lose interest necessarily, it would depend on how high (or low) my interest/attraction was to begin with.

However, in any case I would definitely stop sending IOIs, approaching and placing myself in his vicinity.

If he approached me, I'd talk to him.

Why do you ask? What's going on?

Is she ignoring you now?

I’m asking because I'm wondering if I blew my chance by being closed off and not picking up on her hints.

I’ve only seen her twice in the past month, it seems she doesn’t come to the gym very often, so I don´t know when I will run into her again.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

@ you guys entertaining this obvious ass troll.

Troll: Guys, there was a small fire that broke out near my desk. However, there was also a fire extinguisher within arms reach. What should I have done?

You guys: Dude, you should have totally used the fire extinguisher to put the fire out. The next time this happens, use the fire extinguisher.

Troll: Thanks. Even though I'm a bit nervous, I'll consider doing that the next time.

You guys: No problem. We're here to help.

 

[Sega Genesis]

I’m asking because I'm wondering if I blew my chance by being closed off and not picking up on her hints.

Hard to say, I'm not her. But next time she's there, approach and say "hey," you have nothing to lose.