Approach Journal

[chickenlegs03]

5/19/06

I really just got one chance today...even though I yearned to do more approaches I had to work all day and just got home now.

Approach #5
On the bus, as I was waiting for it to get going, this really cute girl walked on and sat in front of me, slightly to my left side, so we were pretty much face to face. I was about to listen to my iPod right as she got on, so I had my earbuds in my ears...(here's the convo as much as I can remember - note, I omit some names phrases for sake of online privacy):

Me: You headed downtown? (smiling)
Her: (smiling back) No
Me: You heading home then, for the weekend?
Her: No...I'm going to the courthouse...
Me: Did you get in trouble?
Her: No..(laughing)..I have to do this project for a class
Me: Oh really, what class?
Her: Blah class
Me: Oh really, I took that class, who do you have?
Her: Prof. Z
Me: Oh, I had Prof. XY...yeah, make sure you go to the right courthouse, we had to go a couple times before we got it right...
Her: Yeah, I'm going to the vet courthouse
Me: The vet courthouse?
Her: Yeah the vet courthouse, it's close to downtown
Me: The vet...you mean, so they have cases on like, animal abuse?
Her: No (laughing..), it's for like Veterans
Me: Oh, sorry, I didn't get you
Her: No prob
Me: Are you interested in law or are you just taking the class to fill the req't?
Her: Just for the req't
<a little silence...and I fiddled with my iPod a bit>
Me: ah...so what year are you?
Her: First year
Me: Oh, ok, so you probably don't know what you want to concentrate in, etc...
Her: no

(those last few lines may be in the wrong order, because I don't remember what was said exactly in what order). I do know that she only gave 1-2 word answers. We had really good eye contact and smiling, but it seemed she was more shocked that I started a conversation with her and didn't contribute much to it. After that I just let it die. No point in forcing it on her. I wasn't nervous or anything before or during the convo, but afterwards I didn't really look back at her, even though she was right in front of me...I kept looking the other way. Then, soon after I just eased up and realized things are only awkward if you make them awkward.

I really feel like I'm getting back to my normal self again. I'm getting more relaxed and it feels great to be smooth again and not even think about taking opportunities...just doing it. Hopefully I can keep it rolling and move onto better convos and start to go for some numbers.

 

[chickenlegs03]

5/22/06_

I initiated conversations with 4 girls today. Best that I have done so far. The fear may have crept up on me when I started this journal, but it's vanished. I've noticed that I have to always push myself to do that first approach in a day, and once I do, the rest of the day I'm in the zone. It's almost like doing approaches brings out the confidence in me.

Approach #6
I was walking, and this girl was walking diagnally about to cross paths with me. Really hottie though...

Me: what kind of shoes are those?
Her: what?
Me: what kind of shoes are those? (pointing at her boots)
(she looks, and I'm smiling making ec)
Her: ...(smiles and looks down)...I don't know, whatever
Me: ah...yeah, I work at a shoe store, and it's fun to look at people's shoes and try to guess what they're wearing
Her: (just smiled...giving me the 'wtf' look)
<and then we crossed paths and headed in opposite directions>

Moving targets are hard as hell...I've never been successful with these.

Oh well...

Approach #7
I went to get a bottle of water from the cafeteria. I chatted up the cashier who seemed pretty cute. (and she had a cast on her arm)

Me: what happened to your arm?
Her: well, I was "steer riding" (sp?) and...
Me: "steer riding"...is that like being on an animal?
Her: yeah, it's kind of like a bull
Me: oh wow
Her: yeah, and I got thrown against the wall...and this is my right handed, I'm right handed
Me: oh, yeah, that's gotta suck
<not much eye contact other than at first...though she was ringing me up so it's understandable...she handed me my change at this point.>
Her: yeah...
Me: well, hope it gets better (as I walked off)

Approach #8
After I got off the bus and was about to get on the second bus, I saw the same girl from Approach#3.

Me: hey! (name)...right?
Her: (slowed down and turned to me, smiling)...yeah, hey...you? (kind of blushed)
Me: ...where you headed? to work, right? ...oh yeah, my name is c-legs btw.
Her: ...oh, yeah, c-legs (sort of mumbled it)...yeah, going to work, yay Monday!
(and then she did this waving her hands and head like she was sarcastically excited about going to work)
Me: yeah, me too! (sort of mimicking her excitedness...though I actually do like my job a lot)
<at this point she was turned to me even though she was headed in the opposite direction...I've done approaches before, and I know this is a sign that you have her full attention...but I couldn't think of much to say>
Me: okay, well, I'll see ya then
Her: bye

I think if I'd want to take it further with that girl it would be easy. But she's not really hot.

Approach #9
After work, getting on the bus to go back to campus. Spotted a cute girl sitting near the back of the bus...she looked gloomy. I passed her by and sat further back, then decided to go back up to a seat across from hers...

Me: hey, you look sad
Her: no, I look tired
Me: you work?
Her: Yeah! and a lot...

<and at that point we just started talking...it was quite a lengthy conversation, say 7-8min nonstop, right up until we got off the bus. Ended up we had some things in common...but it was more friendly conversation. She made a lot of good eyecontact, and we shared plenty of laughs. But due to a slight altercation in the conversation (since my reputation precedes me...she already knew me - my name - somewhat) I didn't bother to ask for names or close or anything. It was great practice though :rockon: and probably the longest and best approach I've done so far in terms of really engaging the girl>

---------------------------------------------------------------------

All in all, today I did well, imo. I don't know if I'll get 40 approaches in by May27, though I'm really trying. My goal at first was to simply get back in the game. Now, I feel like I'm refining it more...

...I'll keep approaching for the sake of getting more practice with engaging conversations

...but my primary objective is to find some girls that I find worth trying to take things further with

 

[Blackdragon5095]

Moving targets don't work well for me ethier. I avoid them really. I chat up girls in the car, when they are going to the car.

Try flows opener. " Whats your name "
It's not bad and actually if a girls intertested, it will get a convo going.

Act like you seen her before. Then say I saw you stealing something or fighting some girl.

Remember man. If you do the same apporach you will get the same results.

Oh yeah. Good job.

 

[chickenlegs03]

I almost thought I wasn't going to do any approaches today.

But, I did run into the same girl from Approach #9. She saw me before I saw her...

Her: Hey you! How's it going? (she was smiling and looked happy to see me)
Me: Oh, heeeyyy...good, how are ya?
Her: (still smiling)...
<I forgot if we just looked at each other smiling or if we actually said anything...don't remember>
Her: I didn't get your name yesterday, what is it?
Me: c-legs
Her: <again, I don't remember if she repeated my name or said "what?"...either way, I said...>
Me: c-legs
Her: ...ya know, so I don't say 'hey you' if I run into you again...
Her: I'm (name)
<extend my hand to shake hers...>
Me: it's nice to meet you
Her: nice to meet you too
Me: see ya (as I was quickly trying to catch the elevator)

Overall, she seemed happy to run into me. Whatever...I really have been in a sh!tty mood today. And this is why I can't really always be closing, because I live in such a damn small town now that so far I've ran into the girls I've approached twice already.

Anyway, as I was going home, and got on the elevator going up to my apartment, a fat chick got on the elevator also. What the heck, I just need practice with convos. I used "flows opener" here. (thanks Blackdragon5095 for those ideas.)

Approach #10

Me: What's your name?
Her: (name)...what's yours?
Me: c-legs
<I extended my hand to shake hers>
Her: (as we shook) ...I'm sorry my hand is a little sweaty
Me: that's np...mine's not too dry either
(we just smiled at each other)
Me: yeah...I just haven't met many people here yet because I just moved, so I like trying to get to know new people
Her: oh...you just moved in?

<and then we just talked for a few minutes>

Then, I started to feel she was getting the wrong idea...because she started to somewhat follow me.

Her: are you going this way?
Me: yeah

...and then when I stopped at the hall to my place she just stood there as if waiting for me to ask her out or something. Damn. I just wanted some practice...

anyway, I really didn't want to give her the wrong idea by trying to keep in touch with her in any way...so I was just like

Me: well, it was nice meeting you (as she just stared at me, smiling)
Her: yeah, nice to meet you too, I hope you enjoy it here
Me: thanks...gl with your classes
Her...thx

 

[Microphone Fiend]

lol,fat chicks need luv 2

 

[chickenlegs03]

5/24/06

Approach #11

Walking out of the restroom, there was a girl just standing outside, looked lost. I passed her by, but then sort of turned around when I was around 10ft away...

Me: are you looking for something?
Her: yeah, actually...I was looking for the ground level..
Me: oh, yeah, I don't really know this building well, do you have a class soon?
Her: yeah, I got this class and we were supposed to be taking a quiz...at like 9:30
Me: oh...well you have like 8min
Her: yeah, i know, thanks, i'll probably find it
Me: okay, gl (as I was leaving)

she seemed friendly and all...didn't want to bother her if she's in a hurry.

Approach #12

Chatted up the girl making my sandwich at the store. I'd usually just stand there while the employees talk amongst themselves, but this time I talked with the girl.

Her: Hi, how are you doing this morning?
Me: good morning, thanks, and you (maintaing good ec)
<she took my order>

then as she was making it...one of the girls was talking about the Da Vinci movie. and so we talked about that a bit...and they were like, 'you should definitely read the book cause it's confusing' ...and I was like, "i just figured I'd wait and go see the movie"

then some other topics came up about summer plans, etc. I just zoned out a bit. I should have stayed in it. and I think the girl making my sandwich was sort of digging me a bit. I don't know how to explain...but i could tell by the way she looked at me (i'm not an idiot).

but then as she's making my sandwich, the girls behind her are like "whoa, that's a huge sandwich, how are you gonna wrap that?" she doesn't say anything and just wraps it and gives it to me. but it was huge...even the cashier pointed out how big it was...and later when i took the sandwich to lunch and ate it...it seemed like she put in double the meat and just lots of everything. i don't know if she got carried away and distracted from the convo or if that's her stupid way of saying she likes me. because usually you gotta pay $3-4 extra for that much stuff on the sandwich. anyway, i'm not complainin'

Approach #13

Just as I was walking out of the sandwich shop, I saw a girl from one of my classes walking in the opposite direction...and I really had to ask her a question anyway about class (though I'd never talked to her before - though I'd wanted to because she's pretty cute).

Me: heeeyyy...are you in (name of class) class?
Her: yeah
<anyway, beats the point of writing what I asked her about...just class stuff...less than a minute>
Me: thanks
Her: bye

Approach #14

As I got off the bus, I noticed this girl wearing bright yellow sweats...and she was on the phone...I sort of made ec with her but passed her by. I went to the bathroom and seeing that she was still there and not on the phone, I approached...

Me: those are really bright pants! lol
Her: yeah...i know
Me: yeah, i was passing by earlier...and there's no one anyone can miss you with those on
<and i sat down like beside her>
- brief silence as i took out my sandwich...she was eating strawberries -
Me: what's your name?
Her: blah...what's yours?
Me: c-legs
<then we both sort of looked at each others hands...>
Her: I would shake hands with you but...
Me: yeah, don't worry about it, I wouldn't either, I'm about to eat a sandwich
Her: yeah, mine are kind of sticky
Me: did you get those at (name of store)
Her: no...i got them at (blah)...though they're not that ripe yet
Me: oh, yeah, i didn't know they sell them there...i saw them preparing some at (blah store) this morning though
- then she started to make a phone call...and i just pulled out some class notes to at least glance at before class...i guess her phone call didn't go through, and she just sat there looking at some paper flyer -
Me: so what is that?
Her: oh, i don't know it was just here

- and then i forget how we just got into conversation (i think she started out asking me a question), but we did. we just talked for a few minutes about school and stuff. and happens that we had a few things in common. while we were talking, the girl from approach #3 passed by and we waved/smiled. good social proof right there - but at the same time, makes me change my approach to just a friendly vibe, because i'm constantly running into the same girls. and we were kind of getting into good convo...but then one of my friends showed up. so i was like "hey what's up blah" and i was talking to the girl, but she was sitting to my right and my friend sat to my left.

at that point, i felt like i'm kind of being rude, by just starting to talk to my friend and leave her out of it. so i was like, 'hey, this is my friend, "blah" that's the second time i've done an approach and the same friend has showed up. not a bad thing...but i just don't know how to tie them into the same conversation...ya know?

so anyway, i just started to talk to my friend, and she just sat there, i guess expecting me to talk to her...and after a few minutes she got up and left.

Her: it was nice meeting you
Me: yeah, it was nice talking to you.

i don't know, i just hate that. because at the same time, there was no point introducing my friend if they're not gonna talk to each other. one thing i need to remember to do more often is repeat the girls name when parting. that way it's a good reiteration...and next time i see her she'll probably remember me better.

 

[chickenlegs03]

lol,fat chicks need luv 2

lol. I was actually contemplating taking some easy play...but then again, I don't think so.

 

[Mission]

MISSION is here, it has been incredibly busy for me latley. To sum up quickly since I haven't posted my approaches here, I have been hard at just starting convos with anyone that I meet, mostly I have been approaching girls of course!

So lets see, there are 4 girls at work who currently I have made plans with since I started working there, should be fun to see where that goes, good thing I am quitting soon!

Then there was 2 girls at a club, one of them ended up having a boyfriend but we danced and it was good times. The second one was all over me until I asked her for her number at the end of the night, and her UG friend jumps in and says "she's not interested" and drags her friend away. What a *****.

A couple of girls working at stores, one at a Quiksilver store, got her to help me with some new clothes, never attempted a close though, she was trying to hard to sell me the clothes. Another girl at a grocery store I talked to briefly while checking out, but nothing that out of the ordinary there.

I plan to get some serious approaches in tonight in fact, starting a review course for diplomas.

So my count so far is 16 approaches, and more to come!

--Mission

 

[chickenlegs03]

MISSION is here, it has been incredibly busy for me latley. To sum up quickly since I haven't posted my approaches here, I have been hard at just starting convos with anyone that I meet, mostly I have been approaching girls of course!

So lets see, there are 4 girls at work who currently I have made plans with since I started working there, should be fun to see where that goes, good thing I am quitting soon!

Then there was 2 girls at a club, one of them ended up having a boyfriend but we danced and it was good times. The second one was all over me until I asked her for her number at the end of the night, and her UG friend jumps in and says "she's not interested" and drags her friend away. What a *****.

A couple of girls working at stores, one at a Quiksilver store, got her to help me with some new clothes, never attempted a close though, she was trying to hard to sell me the clothes. Another girl at a grocery store I talked to briefly while checking out, but nothing that out of the ordinary there.

I plan to get some serious approaches in tonight in fact, starting a review course for diplomas.

So my count so far is 16 approaches, and more to come!

--Mission

that sounds great. Seems like you were beating me when you last posted this. good luck, and keep it up.

as for myself, let me give a quick update.

6/1/06_

Approach #15
Hopped on the bus and said to a cute girl sitting. I would have made a conversation with whoever was there anyway though, I wasn't really thinking 'approach'...and perhaps that's why I didn't follow through well

Me: hey isn't it great there's 2 buses going to same place...I just missed the other one (smiling at her)
Her: (smiling back) yeah, it's nice, where are you headed?
Me: downtown, where are you headed?
Her: blah street ...yeah, I know, I could just walk
Me: ...yeah, that is pretty close
<a brief silence, then she coughed>
Me: I wonder what that charcoal smell is around campus
Her: oh, there's a big even going on at xyz
Me: oh, really, sweet, yeah, it smells like a huge barbq
Her: yeah (said something I didn't understand then just laughed?)
Me: yeah, lol (just laughed anyway)...it's kind of early for a barbq
<and that's where the convo ended>...gotta practice more on maintaining good convos...sometimes I feel like the girl should be asking me questions or something and I just wait, and then it gets so long that I get discouraged thinking that if I strike it up again it will appear a bit desperate

Approach #16
This could count as 2 but not really, so I'll count it as one. Not really approaches either, but hey, I gave it a shot and broke the ice...which obviously isn't what I need practice on, it's carrying the convo I need practice on. Girl standing to my left at the store, we're in line...

<noticed her fanning herself>
Me: they should really get some AC in here
Her: yeah...

that was a long approach wasn't it? but honestly it was sooo hot I was mentally cooked in there. then there was a much hotter girl to my right (though taller than me, but wearing short shorts)

<noticed her changing her mind about something on her 'sheet' you use to make your order>
Me: you keep changing your mind
Her: ?
Me: it looks like you keep changing your mind
Her: ...nah, I just made a mistake the first time, so I fixed it now

I should continued with this one because as I stood there after I noticed her sort of mirroring my body language, and it was actually funny, lol.

------------------------------------------------

but hey, if you guys think I blew those 2, let me tell you about my bus ride home yesterday. I was sitting by the window in a 2-seater, and looking out the window. The bus stopped to pick up a large crowd of people, and out of them, there was one damn fine girl, the hottest of all. And then, she gets on the bus and sits uncomfortably close to me, despite there being lots of empy seats near the back of the bus. I never even made eye contact. Then, I was looking out the window to my right, and for a second wanted to look to my left...good thing I didn't turn all the way around because my face would have landed literally into hers. She was leaning into my neck...totally in my personal space. Man, I was boggled the whole [email protected] be more prep'd for those gimmies.

 

[thefonz]

hey great job c-legs,

You're well on your way to getting back your game, I"ll hit you up with an em sometime

 

[chickenlegs03]

IMO, questions are not good convo-openers because it's too innocent and ambivalent...most women get a little impatient trying to discern your motives...just hit em with something from the outset...it's best to open the convo with a smile and something unmistakably flirtatatious and unique...

I think you're very right, and I've noticed myself asking too many questions. Thanks a lot for the helpful feedback. Point taken, I'll work on this.

hey great job c-legs,

You're well on your way to getting back your game, I"ll hit you up with an em sometime

Hey thanks man. I hope your progress is coming along good too. I shot you an email today, check out that link if it's working.

6/6/06_

Okay, haven't updated (or done many 'approaches') lately, but I do have to comment that I have been feeling an unshakeable confidence. I think part of it is the ego-trips I'm getting from girls checking me out a lot more lately.

Though, it's not just that. Today, after watching "the Secret" video posted in another thread, my whole entire perception just shifted immensely. Since that point, I think I felt such unbelievable confidence that I have never felt before. I feel like I can do anything. Not to mention studying several hours straight with more focus than I've ever experienced before. I'm quite impressed with myself.

Anyway...down to business...

Approach #17

K...I'll count 2 'approaches' as 1, because neither really should be a whole approach.

Yesterday, at the sandwich shop, I chatted up the girl making my sandwich...

Me: hey, who's the artist of the music playing now?
Her: (some band)
Me: oh really, i've never heard of them
Her: yeah, it's regeton, salsa
Me: yeah, it sounds cool...i like regeton, you heard of (another band)?
Her: yeah, they're cool
Me: hey, what was the name of these guys again?
Her: (band name)...i'll write it down for you
Me: cool thanks
<i noticed she blushed and smiled quite a bit as we chatted>

...so that's not really an 'approach' per se, so here's another that i just did this morning...one-liner pretty much. Saw this cute girl standing on the edge of the street crosswalk, and (I walk pretty slow) just said

Me: deciding whether or not you should cross the street?
Her: (smiled) no, i'm just waiting for someone
Me: (i was cracking myself up and just walked by her laughing)

Approach #18

Okay, so that girl in the sandwich shop was yesterday...but hey, like I've said plenty of times, I live in a really small town. I ran into her again on the bus today.

Me: (as I walked on) hey (smiling)...what's up?
Her: (smiled...but her eyes widened as if she wasn't expecting it...she seemed startled, nervous...i take it she's shy, but she was stand-offish for most of the convo, with her hands crossed over her chest)...hey...
<i sat in a seat in front of her, but at a 90 degr. angle, so she was facing my right side...i turned to my right to talk to her>

Me: hey, yeah, so i checked out (band name) online
Her: oh yeah?
Me: yeah, i couldn't find many of their cds, except on amazon...but i found that one (song title) that i like
Her: oh yeah, (song title), that's a good one...but they have a lot of cds too
Me: yeah, i know
Me: so you have any tests today?
Her: blah blah
Me: i just finished one
<I noticed I was asking too many questions...but after I said that about my test, she asked me some questions>

I forget what order the rest of the convo went in, but it was rather choppy. I asked questions, and she answered. The bus started to get crowded as we talked. I then began to eat my sandwich and let the convo die. I hate to be too observant, but it seemed most other people on the bus were shooting me hostile glances...like it's soo weird to be chatting up people on the bus, right? anyway, i'm glad I did...beats being an introvert sitting there with an iPod.

I didn't ask her name or anything. No point, she just seemed too shy and distanced. Np...

Later I ran into a girl from one of my classes from a previous semester. We smiled at each other, and she introduced me to her friend briefly...but I was just at a loss of talking...too much on my mind. Oh well, I'll see her around.

I also said hi to a hot girl who walked by who I didn't know. Just so uber-confident today that anyone who met my glance I would nod to or greet, without even thinking about it, as if i run the whole university or something...that was my natural badass vibe. Btw, the point of even just greeting strangers is that if you see them again (especially me living in such a small town), that you'll have almost already broken the ice.

Approach #19

Really cute girl who works at the coffee shop. Several times in the past we'd flirted with brief eye contact. I figured I'd break the ice at least.

Me: hey (smiling), I think I've ran into you somewhere before.
<I honestly have seen her somewhere else...I wasn't thinking 'approach' at that point...I was thinking 'I've seen this girl somewhere before, but where?'>
Her: (smiling), really, where?
Me: I don't know, I just think I have (smiling)
Her: (smiled back...I don't know if she thought I was BS'ing her or what...it was a teasing sort of smile, but as if she felt flattered that I was talking to her)
Her: What's your name?
Me: c-legs
Her: what is it?
Me: (leaned in a bit) c-legs
Her: ...my name is (name)
Me: (name)?
Her: yeah, (name)...it's (nationality), but I'm not (nationality), lol, my mom just liked it so I guess she named me that
Me: (name)...that's a pretty name
Her: (just smiled)

I think the whole 'gotta approach' attitude has been replaced by a natural sense of just taking opportunities and doing/saying whatever because I feel like it...so that may have been the end of the convo, but we both parted smiling, it was cool, I think she took the whole convo as a compliment, and I don't mind brightening someone's day, it makes me feel good too

 

[Fash]

Good going my man.

I feel your pain about the name thing. I have a persian name which is hard to pronounce too. So I kinda tell chicks a shortened version of it and it seems to work for me.

You seem to have gained your confidence back and now it is time to take things a step further.

You NEED to start number closing these chicks. Or if you feel that they have some free time, invite them for a quick coffee or juice, or whatever.

Next time, when you have built rapport and have made the connection with the chick and you are getting IOIs, go for the number close just before you are about to part with her.

You: Hey, you seem pretty interesting. It will be cool to get to know more about you. I gotta run but how do we continue this conversation sometime?
Her: ummmm why don't you take my number...

:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

 

[chickenlegs03]

I feel your pain about the name thing. I have a persian name which is hard to pronounce too. So I kinda tell chicks a shortened version of it and it seems to work for me.

nah, it's not a problem at all...I actually love it, and it I've learnt to use it as a tool to gauge interest level. I've noticed when a girl repeats or tries to pronounce my name correctly, it shows they care, and have some interest in me. When they don't care to repeat it or ask about it, then I know not to waste my time. The whole being persian I use to my advantage actually because it sets me apart from the average guy with my lingual abilities and because you have an "exotic" appeal off the bat.

You seem to have gained your confidence back and now it is time to take things a step further.

You NEED to start number closing these chicks. Or if you feel that they have some free time, invite them for a quick coffee or juice, or whatever.

Next time, when you have built rapport and have made the connection with the chick and you are getting IOIs, go for the number close just before you are about to part with her.

You: Hey, you seem pretty interesting. It will be cool to get to know more about you. I gotta run but how do we continue this conversation sometime?
Her: ummmm why don't you take my number...

thanks for the suggestion. You're right, I do need to start doing this. Not necessarily number closing, as I run into these same girls all the time anyway...but I need to take it to the next level and offer them to spend time with me, like you mentioned. I'll work on this for sure.

I agree, c-legs. Having goals is the greatest aphrodesiac...BTW, nice job on that last example approach...you had her asking you questions...and that's a wonderul, empowering feeling, when a girl wants to know about you.

hey thanks, I really didn't intend for that to happen, it just did I guess. It was interesting..

--------------------------------------------------------

6/7/06

K...so I did 1 approach today, and quite unintentionally. I think from this one, in retrospect, I realized that so far, I haven't gotten my "game" back. I've gotten my "balls" and confidence back. I can now approach and say whatever I feel like, but that won't cut it. I need to work on my "game" and actually being more suave. Just having balls doesn't mean crap.

Approach #20

I was filling up my water bottle and noticed some guy who was on the phone turned around to stare in the other direction. I turned to see what he was looking at so attentively. Oh...it was a real blond hottie, long legs, short-shorts, boots, tan, you get the idea...model-like. So, without even thinking I just walked over..

Me: hi
Her: (looked up briefly - she was reading something) hi
<she then looked back at what she was reading>
Me: nice boots
Her: thanks (looked and smiled very briefly then went right back to staring at what she was reading)
Me: where'd you get them? (at this point, I knew I was being an annoying a-hole, and that my approach was pure crap...too many questions, annoying, etc.)
<there was a pause, and she didn't answer for a few seconds, lol>
Her: ...Nordstroms...(and she started to walk away smiling - yeah, it was that bad)
Me: (started to walk away from her also) ...oh, I should get myself a pair then (laughing at my own joke)
Her: (smiled...perhaps laughing at me and not with me)...yeah, you should

Now that was pure crap. I mean I didn't lose my composure or anything, but it was just worthless flattery. Afterwards I felt like the typical joe who hits on the hot girl but doesn't get play, and I seriously laughed at myself as I walked home. I usually don't do sh*tty approaches like that, but oh well, I learnt my lesson.

 

[jonwon]

Hey chicken-legs you’re an inspiration for all new PUA out there.

Keep working on your approaches and build up that confidence to realize all women are different and there is nothing to be afraid of at all. God loves a try-er’.

But I think you need to think about stepping up your game a little, don’t be put off by objective women you will come across them, attractive girls also can be full of it, so that last encounter you could have said something funny about her shoes, like ‘hey those shoes look painful, you wearing them to impress us men here or what’.

Number 18 approach where she wrote the bands name down, you should have said ‘and write your email/phone number down too and we can talk some more’.

But in all honesty good work keep advancing your doing great, just work on advancing, question what ever to open them up, then make them laugh don’t be too impressed with what they say, example ‘ I went horse riding’ you reply ‘oh wow’, take it in your stride don’t let them impress you so much, you’re a man of the world you know it all, instead of oh wow, ask them to talk to you about it, seem interested but not to interested.

Closure ask for a number, don’t be afraid if she says no!
You want true success now is the time to get over the rejection phobia once that is gone you will be a true stud

Have fun man its all a game after all.

 

[chickenlegs03]

Keep working on your approaches and build up that confidence to realize all women are different and there is nothing to be afraid of at all. God loves a try-er’.

But I think you need to think about stepping up your game a little, don’t be put off by objective women you will come across them, attractive girls also can be full of it, so that last encounter you could have said something funny about her shoes, like ‘hey those shoes look painful, you wearing them to impress us men here or what’.

...But in all honesty good work keep advancing your doing great, just work on advancing, question what ever to open them up, then make them laugh don’t be too impressed with what they say, example ‘ I went horse riding’ you reply ‘oh wow’, take it in your stride don’t let them impress you so much, you’re a man of the world you know it all, instead of oh wow, ask them to talk to you about it, seem interested but not to interested.

hey, thanks a lot for your feedback. You're right...I do need to be stepping it up a notch for sure. I've realized overall that I haven't got my "game" back...I've gotten my confidence/balls and sense of natural/auto approaching is back. Now it's time to be smoother and take things further than just random convos.

Number 18 approach where she wrote the bands name down, you should have said ‘and write your email/phone number down too and we can talk some more’.

I thought the exact same thing when she was writing it down. The only reason I didn't is because it was in front of the other people who work there, and I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, as she seemed shy already.

Closure ask for a number, don’t be afraid if she says no!
You want true success now is the time to get over the rejection phobia once that is gone you will be a true stud

I'm not so afraid of rejection as I'm afraid of ruining my chances of good social proof. I'm fairly new to the area so barely anyone 'knows' me, at least in comparison to my old city. But, I run into the same girls a lot, so going for numbers isn't meaningful to me. Also, of the approaches I've done, I don't think I have wanted to take things farther with all of them anyway, possibly 3-4 I really found interesting. For sure though, point taken, I need to offer to spend more time with these girls...I will work this into my next approaches, definitely.

-----------------------------------------------------------

6/8/06_

Okay, it's only 10am now, but I've done 2 approaches so far today.

Approach #21

Heading out of my apartment, some girl was walking perpendicular to me and passed in front of me and made eye contact and smiled slightly. Before she got too far ahead of me, I called out to her...

Me: hey...so you ready for your exam?
Her: no...I didn't sleep blah blah
<and from that point we just started talking about exams, classes, etc. she asked me alot of questions. however, when i introduced myself and she told me her name, her handshake was quite firm, and she didn't repeat my name, which i usually take as an IOI (because my name is unique). nonetheless, we kept talking a lot and she made good ec/smiled. it ended with us walking in different directions and wishing each other luck on our tests.>

one thing I learned from this approach is that by giving more statements and talking more (and not just asking questions), she asked me more questions. it was pretty much her trying to get to know me, rather than the other way around. for the most part though, it was like we already knew each other...that's the way i usually like to make approaches feel.

Approach #22

I was looking for a specific office, and noticed a girl from afar. She happened to walk to where I was, so I asked her, (btw, she was a total hottie)

Me: hey, do you know where (blah) office is?
Her: yeah, it's <we were in front of the bldg map> upstairs and down the hall to your right...
Me: yeah, <pointing to the map> it's a kind of confusing map
Her: well, yeah, it's over there <pointed to office on the map>
Me: okay, well thanks
<so she was walking in that same direction up the stairs anyway ahead of me. then on the second floor, she was a bit ahead of me, she turned around kind of confused...>
Her: or, wait, maybe it's not here...what room were you looking for again?
Me: (blah) office
Her: well, wait, follow me it's over here
Me: eh, ...never ask women for directions
Her: (laughed), well I'm pretty sure it's over there
Me: thanks, I hope you're right
<at this point I head been walking in front of her and she had turned the corner>
Her: (jokingly) oh, I know I'm right

that's how an approach should be. both those approaches were natural/genuine and I just said whatever. I've gotten my confidence completely back, and my social skills and personality are beginning to show again...I feel damn good. only after the approaches did I think to myself 'whoa, i just said all the right things at the right times...' it's funny how simple confidence and some social skills help so much.

anyway, I should surely step things up, for sure.

 

[jonwon]

I see where you are coming from with social status e.t.c, but a few of the girls there maybe never be a chance to bump into them again.

The University ones i can see why you would want to adopt this attitude though.

Approaches are good, helps to build confidence, i am an old hat to the game but even i get discouraged by approaching, things i do: if i approach I always try for closure, digits/kiss/ want to come back to my place for a cup of tea (never say sex, gets them on the defensive, gives them a means to say no'), but sometimes i am just after a 'its ok to talk to women night' and just have conversations with them, helps destroy myths and build exp'.

Advances are great, now just step it up with closure, digits at the very least.

Some girls will give you thier number, some will give you the wrong number, some will say no, some wont answer the phone when you call some may even be rude, but this is something you have to work on and get past it and over it, approaches are fine but there can be so much more.

Get over rejection, only by being rejected and realizing it is not a big deal will success start coming.

I like reading threads like this reminds us what’s important and that is fear is the only true thing that’s messes up our success in a lot of things, even if you look cr** you will still get a result if your ballsie enough to forget about consequences and not be ruled by fear.

Your overcoming your approach fear, now build up to rejection fear.

 

[chickenlegs03]

Thanks again for your feedback jonwon. I agree with you, and everyone else who has continually told me to step things up a bit.

Anyway, yesterday I did a great approach.

First off, I am reading a book now that tells you to get clear about your desires and then to visualize and believe you can have them. For the first time ever, I wrote down exactly what I am looking for in a girl. I then visualized the end result of her being with me, and believed it could happen.

Physically: shorter than me, brunette, large brown eyes, lusty lips, Spanish, attractive body

Personality/Other: friendly, must have an interest in my interests, no drink/smoke, have goals, not slutty, intelligent, speak Spanish (but fluent in English)

Then on Friday (yesterday), I passed by a girl sitting at a bench who fit the exact visuals I described above! I went to the bathroom and returned to talk to her. While getting to know her, I found that her personality/other traits fit the description perfectly as well!!! Even a day later, today, I am in amazement of how much power I hold in my mind.

So, here's how the approach went:

Approach #23

Me: Hi (walked up from the side and sat about 2ft from her on the bench)
Her: (turned to me) Hi
Me: what bus are you waiting for?
Her: bus xy?
Me: oh yeah, me too
Her: where are you going?
Me: to work
Her: where do you work?
Me: blah blah
Me: where you headed?
Her: blah blah to volunteer
Me: just because you feel like it or for a class or something?
Her: it's for blah class..

<then we talked about school, the convo was pretty balanced, she asked me just as many, if not more questions than i asked her>

Then when the conversation was about siblings, out of the blue...

Her: how old are you?
Me: 22
Her: oh, (then she sort of blushed and seemed embarrassed for asking it)
me: (I tried to fit it into the convo to make it seem like a relevant comment) ...yeah my bro is xy old and my sis is yz old, so we get along well, blah

Then the bus got there and one of the homeless guys I know walked up...

Homeless Dude: heeeyy lady...
Her: ...uh...hi? (kind of freaked out, moved away from him)
Me: hey man, how you doin?
Homeless Dude: hey
<me and him briefly talked about where each of us were headed, then parted>

Me: ...yeah, when you ride the bus enough you start to get to know everyone
Her: ...(smiled)...yeah...(looked a little disturbed)

Then we had to wait a minute before getting on the bus.

Me: hey, so what's your name?
Her: blah
Me: okay blah
Her: what's your name?
Me: c-legs
Her: wha?
Me: c-legs
Her: c-legs?
Me: yeah (though I'm not positive she pronounced it exactly right the second time)

I greeted the bus driver lady I know, and then the girl went to sit down.

Me: ...you mind if i sit with you? (what a loser, LOL; i shouldn't have asked)

I think me being acquainted with that homeless guy may have also turned her off a bit.

So anyway, we start talking some more. It seems like every time there was a silence in the conversation, she asked me a question. she'd just be like "so...<insert question>?"
She also fiddled with the zipper on her blouse as she asked me questions, and made a lot of eye contact. We were sitting next to each other, so we both had to turn to look at each other each time. Oddly, she has her arms folded across her chest. (I'm a sucker for noticing body language)

Her: so...what do you like to do for fun? (as she fiddled with her ear/earring)

classic! I took this as her being interested in me.

Me: ah...i like to watch movies, ...Uh, I play chess, though you don't really meet any girls doing that (lol)
Her: (LOL)
Me: ...and I like to play basketball on occasion
<then we talked about chess a bit>

Me: so what do you like to do for fun?

Her: dance, soccer, etc...(of course her reply was lengthier, I'm just not writing it all out for sake of brevity - and because I don't remember - and of course i made in comments in between hers)

This is a question I need to work on. Because i really don't do much for fun these days besides work on establishing my business and working. Also, I felt like she asked me a lot of questions to the point where I felt like I was talking waay too much about myself.

Then at one point she was like (again random). Perhaps this was to say she changed her mind about being interested?

Her: you don't look 22.
Me: yeah, I know, everyone says I look 17 or 18. but hey, when I'm 40 I can be dating girls that are like 30, eh?
her: (LOL)
me: why, how old are you? (don't usually ask but figured since she knew my age I might as well know hers)
her: I'm 21, I'll be 22 in august.

Then I asked if she really partied hard for her 21st. She didn't, and doesn't even drink, which is cool. Short story, as it got close to her stop I said,

Me: hey let me get your number ...and maybe you can teach me some salsa, and i can teach you some chess sometime <cheesy>
Her: okay

I reached into my bag and got a pen. I asked if she had a piece of paper. She fumbled through her bag and pulled out a ticket stub and she wrote her name/number down. as she left,

Her: it was nice meeting you
Me: yeah, nice meeting you too, have fun out there

Although, it was weird the way she said "nice meeting you" ...the tone sounded like 'it was nice meeting you but I'm not going to pick up when you call' I feel like when she said I don't look 22 it was her way of turning me down?

Anyway...this morning as I was thinking of things I could do if I hung out with her, I realized I don't really have time to go on a date or really invite her over (I have a really new house with no furniture, lol). So anyway, I'll probably tell her that I'll be at xyz place next week and she can join me if she likes. I'll be there anyway with or without her. Maybe I shouldn't have taken her number because now I have sort of an obligation that I don't feel like fulfilling.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

good close man. My question is for the most part did you talk about stuff she can talk to with her girlfriend or did you talk about stuff only a man (or butch female) talks about?

 

[chickenlegs03]

good close man. My question is for the most part did you talk about stuff she can talk to with her girlfriend or did you talk about stuff only a man (or butch female) talks about?

LOL at "butch female.

I think she led most of the conversation. Even when it died down she would ask me a question. I guess it's stuff she could talk to her girfriend about, but it wasn't really talking about stuff in general, it was like us just asking each other questions and getting to know each other. I can say, however, that none of it was "girly"

I honestly don't think it was a great "conversation" per se. You're right, I definitely need to work on better conversations. Do you have any tips on stuff that "only a man (or butch female) talks about"? Or could you give some examples...

Thanks again for your feedback.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

I jus spent a a good 10 minutes looking for this joint so I hope you like it:

http://sosuave.com/articles/converse.htm