Approach anxiety really is in our head

bigdave17

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#1
I've tried to approach either by myself or with a friend maybe 4 or 5 girls last few weeks and everybody has been very friendly

I'm trying to make the jump to asking out the women at my gym who are my exact types (multiple very cute latinas) but the anxiety is difficult to overcome. Honestly I wonder if i have love shyness - i think I'm just as scared of success as failure. Like a kidnapping victim so used to being miserable that being happy and free is scary

anyways, for everyone here intensely afraid of approaching as i was, very few women seem to be rude
 

zekko

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#2
I went through a phase when I froze up around beautiful women. I could laugh and joke with the guys and with girls I wasn't attracted to, but when a real beauty walked in I froze up. I finally realized that I needed to force myself to relax and act the same way that I did with everybody else. This is the real meaning of "Be Yourself", to relax and rely on your natural charms that you use in your everyday life.

Attractive women tend to be more polite than fat or ugly women, because fat, ugly women have had more bad experiences with men. Attractive women tend to have positive experiences with men (they know men will like them), so they are more friendly. Generally speaking.
 

bigdave17

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#3
I went through a phase when I froze up around beautiful women. I could laugh and joke with the guys and with girls I wasn't attracted to, but when a real beauty walked in I froze up. I finally realized that I needed to force myself to relax and act the same way that I did with everybody else. This is the real meaning of "Be Yourself", to relax and rely on your natural charms that you use in your everyday life.

Attractive women tend to be more polite than fat or ugly women, because fat, ugly women have had more bad experiences with men. Attractive women tend to have positive experiences with men (they know men will like them), so they are more friendly. Generally speaking.
there was a super cute young latina at my gym today. i said something to her and she smiled and seemed very friendly but i froze up due to the anxiety

its all in our heads
 

zekko

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#4
there was a super cute young latina at my gym today. i said something to her and she smiled and seemed very friendly but i froze up due to the anxiety
Well you grabbed your balls and gave it a try. It's all we can do. Maybe you'll be less anxious next time.
 

sazc

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#5
Well you grabbed your balls and gave it a try. It's all we can do. Maybe you'll be less anxious next time.
Yeah, next time you start to freeze up, discreetly grab your balls and squeeze to discomfort, that will surely snap you out of your head :D
 

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bigdave17

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#6
Well you grabbed your balls and gave it a try. It's all we can do. Maybe you'll be less anxious next time.

I talked to a chick from my high school today at the gym. She's not attractive but not horrible


She was very friendly also. Probably could have easily gotten a date out of that if I kept it going
 

fanatic22

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#7
I’m pretty sure I suggested that Dave try this. If I get Dave laid I believe I get permanent mod status per sosuave forum rules.
 

17 shots

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#8
I’m pretty sure I suggested that Dave try this. If I get Dave laid I believe I get permanent mod status per sosuave forum rules.
Im taking 31% credit. I think he saw that old thread I posted and realized he wasted a whole year being the same guy who's doesn't listen to his own positive reinforcement
 

zekko

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#9
Yeah, next time you start to freeze up, discreetly grab your balls and squeeze to discomfort, that will surely snap you out of your head :D
I'm pretty sure the term "grab your balls" means to take them along with you, not leave them behind, as in keeping your nerve. Not squeeze them to discomfort, yowtch.
 

sazc

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#10
I'm pretty sure the term "grab your balls" means to take them along with you, not leave them behind, as in keeping your nerve. Not squeeze them to discomfort, yowtch.
Lol if it helps him get out of his head yo....
 
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HankHill

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#11
Why do you guys keep responding to his bait-and-hook threads??! sigh...so gullible you DJs are!
 

corrector

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#14
I've tried to approach either by myself or with a friend maybe 4 or 5 girls last few weeks and everybody has been very friendly

I'm trying to make the jump to asking out the women at my gym who are my exact types (multiple very cute latinas) but the anxiety is difficult to overcome. Honestly I wonder if i have love shyness - i think I'm just as scared of success as failure. Like a kidnapping victim so used to being miserable that being happy and free is scary

anyways, for everyone here intensely afraid of approaching as i was, very few women seem to be rude
It's good you are having the motivation to approach women. I'm having a motivation problem because I keep bringing my Tablet to the gym, plug in my head-phones and watch TV Shows and I'm finding that is just killing my motivation to do anything because some of these TV shows are so good, like take Homecoming with Julia Roberts. Watching her act on the Tablet with that particular TV-series verses approaching a real girl..... Then I rationalize and say it's better to bring a Tablet to the Gym since I may stare at the women inside the Gym and lust over them or over-think approaching someone the whole time and don't approach, so it's better this way.

If you actually approach and ask someone out then I might leave my Tablet at home or in the car next time. I think this Tablet is making me too oblivious socially and in LA LA Land for my own good when I should try approaches too.
 
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